http://www.colorgenics.com/ is the site , my crib sheet for html is gone sorry

Your ability to withstand the pressures of everyday life have been overtaxed, and this is leading to stress and frustrations. It would seem that for the time being you have lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. You feel that it is all "Too much" and try as you may - you are getting nowhere. But to give you credit you continue to stand your ground and still pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity.Naturally this situation is subjecting you to intolerable stress and pressure from which you would dearly like to escape, but you can not bring yourself to make the necessary decision. As a result you remain firmly involved in the problem and you can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it - You cannot leave it alone and you feel that you will only be at peace when you have reached your objective.


from my colorgenics profile . too close really. and you knwo you are depressed when you are talking notice ofdodgy internet sites

I haev been insanely busy , working , writing, going to school. Some asshole on Morpheous has infected my computer with the love letter virus which means i need Nortons , which i cannot afford. These are the reasons i have been negiligent . Sorry

My dad was a forensic social worker so i understood a vareity of clincal teasts from a fairly young age , not enogh to adminster them but enough . My favorites were the rosach blots ( blots is an inadquete word for them , they were whirls spills blotches) I looked at them , read mr rosachs books and i found out a bit . There is power in them , in in attempting to analyze the subjectivity objectivly . I learnt which ones were sexual and which ones indicated creativity . They were curious and beutiful, like ab-ex as a tool . I wasnt suprised that simialr methods were popular at the fin de seicle and the dadaists .
Yesterday i bought cabnient , a journal from brooklyn . It contains a cd, a poster , a postcard, centering arround a variety of themes . The theme was evil and the poster was dull, the postcard had a diagram of hell drawn by a interent kentucky baptist , ItUp to this point clincial standards and copyright have forbidden rosachs to be published. However within the last year the copright expired . it also contained an interveiw with a Freudian Pyschotherapist who adminstered the rosach and other tests to the 21 cheif nazis beofre their trials , including speer , goering and eichmann . (up to this point clincial standards and copyright have forbidden rosachs to be published. However within the last year the copright expired . so we got to see the real pictures as well ) The interesting this is eichman , goering and speer all refused to see the images in plates six and seven . The sixth plate has a delicate black shaft bisecting a black pattern , obviously phallic. The seventh plate among undlating curves has a shadow that looks ( and is suposed to be ) like a vulva. When i find a scanner i will scan them.

today i spent two hours talking poetry w. my film prof , waited for a buddy who sttod me up, had lunch at my favorite counter, flirted with the woman who took my order , failed to notice that they cook was baking a massive carrot cake in the shape of a schlong , flipped thru art mags and a french fashion journal that fetured dwarves, listened to hank iiis latest which i will review , wrote a bit about rosachs in an a and w , watched two teenagers pray in the self same a and w , had salad for dinner , watched the anniversary party and metal gods w. Angel in bewteen . i will now type the stuff on rosachs i revise my poetry , try to start my d.o.a column and finsih the hank review .

look what i can do thanks arse monkey

would putting you gotta hide yr love away and my seceret love on a gay mans mix tape be cute , clever or precious ?

i am gettign a haircut tomorrow , real short .

i am listeing to patricia o callaghan again , pissed off that i dismissed her elegant phrasing and meloncholy w. one listening , she sings leonard cohen with this clear soprano that is much more winking then one would assume from her classical training , thats the probelm with uncle lenny i think , he takes himself a little too seriously .

i know i know its been mad w. classes and me writing for the gateway and work and i have been hegligent in updating this , and i dont have much to say either , i am reviewing hank iii tomorrow and working in 2 hours , i dont really hate my job , just wish i didnt have to work , does that make sense , i didnt work for a couple of weeks cause i was taking care of mom and now i have to get back to the rythym .

and his blog is a rightous crusude against the fatous buffons and evil clowns that infect our lives . if he keeps yelling they are gonna send you somewhere :)

I was rooting arround in my text files looking for something to send to another pissant journal in between trying to write a review for the art show that the gateway needed . in the last eight months i have become a better writer , almost good and at times publuishable . i blame geoff , he pointed me to d.o.a which was the first deadline i gave a shit about , he read my stuff and tore it apart , giving me shit for the cliches and pointing out undertexts i had avoided on purpose . he wasnt afraid to treat my text like a brahma bull , a beutiful animal that is savage and destrutive unless he is pushed into submission by equal amounts of praise and correction. geoff has done that , clened it up , made it work . i do not think he realizes how effective a writer he is , his novel is a postmodern picaresque , filthy w. a human craving .
and his reviews are mini discourses on everything from funk to aussie politics . and his poetry fills the mouth with rapturous pleasures , not large ones , but ones that are tagernts , like chicken and chicken .

You never rerally forget that you have depression. i arrived half an hour early for my birthday and i waited , growing more and more terrified that no one would come , that the end result would be my humalation. People came on time and people had fun but that fear of rejection seems pretty permanant .

'of the 248 senators and House members on the various committees investigating Enron's collapse, 212 have received contributions from Enron or Arthur Andersen since 1989.'
New York Times

last night nine people ate itialian to excess and drank cocktails and beer. we talked about politics and sex and culture and laughed at things like kruschev touring disneyland . in fact we all laughed til our sides hurt and i dont remember what we laughed at. i had a chi chi an avalanceh a pink lady and a snowball at the resturant, then the nine of us ran over to lat and invaded the gallery and i tihnk i made a fool of myself

when mormons go on missions , its not about conversions , its about a search for idenity

when mormons store food its not a fear of apocolyspse, its a fear of losing ones job , minor tragedies

when mormons legislate sex and drugs and rock and roll it is a plea for saftey





and why can i not do a similar excerise in catholicism

i spent almost two hours talking to a toronto artist about his art at latitude tonight mostly for the gateway, its so full and theorticaly complex and typing my notes tonight i realize that i want to write poems about it , so haunting and clever and heart filled . he was kind and gentle and funny as well , touchy feely , made me feel like i knew what i was talkign about . i like it when the art is great , the artist isnt an asshole ..




the designer tibor kahlmans son has the middle name of onamanpeia

The following foods are kosher

Pheasent , Squab duck and Grouse

According to Rabbi Horowitz , these are the critera :

any bird :
That is not a bird of prey.
That does not have front toes (or tearing talon)
That must have a craw and a double lined stomach that is easily separated.
That can catch food thrown in the air, but it must lay it down and tear it with its beak before eating.

Fish is very complex and deals with the kind of scales , roughly if you can descale a fish w/o deskinning it its kosher , there is a list
here

vension

moose

bison

giraffe (although ritual slaughter is diffucult because of the neck )

Honey ( though bees are not kosher)

mutton

and goat


this is what i did tonight . researched kosher game. oh and until about 10 years ago m and ms smarties and other coated candies were not kosher because there shells were made of insect excertment.

i cannot seem to use html the momus essay is here :

momus has a new essay about lit vs painting , i think hes wrong but maybe thats cause i believe in the first verses of john


my mom is still really sick , stuck in the hospital , i should be working but i dont have the energy. So i will spend the day reading for classes and maybe Rank Ladies , the book i am reading for "fun"