today i learnt that the promoter and the venue of the momus gig may not know whats going on

i have put almost 750 on this gig already ! If it falls thru heads will role

Today i felt turned on watching fight club, the brawl between Leto and Norton. Then i felt revulsed and guilty . I am not sure how to process this , i have not felt shame about my sexual fantasies in a long time.