I used to think the world worked well, not expertly and there some assholes in power, but aside from that us plebes got the world together in tip top shape. We didnt really needthe big ones we took after our own kind.

I used to think that music was good, it was complex or interesting or something.
I used to think that sex was fun.
I used to think i could spend my life writing about art or music

tonight i spent 4 hours working on the pop focus group, wasted it on twisted and filthy one liners about vapid pop acts. tonight i wrote another poem that talked about fucking. tonight i wrote another pretentious paragraph on some artist i like from pretty pictures in the same books.

i feel banal-banal and stupid and untalented and confused about why people think i am any of those things.

i dont want to be the boy at the back of the class afraid to ask question but there is more in the world then i could possibly know and this causes me to ask stupid questions and act with out much grace.