as per my pattern to avoid the real text i get theory out, this time a supplement ot the journal of the old testemant called queer commentary and hte hebrew bible, which contains an essay called Yahweh as Top: A Lost Targum (which means an Aramaic translation or paraphrase of a portion of the Old Testament) , constructed as a dialouge at first b/w yhwh and moses and then later a council of the holy and the perverse (ie de sade, lacan, freud, masoch, yhwh, moses, deleuze), it is dirty, blashpehmous, serious, sacred, frightening, offenisve, moving, fun and anarochnistic.

it also made me think, deeply, about wether my realtionship with god, the god on the cross, and the father figure in the clouds, and the holy spirit who chides and castigates in love could be viewed as a freudian construct. namely, is giving up everything, grovelling at the feet of some one more powerful, begging to die, expected to die- masoschistic in my part. is notcing his aching, and dying body dragging the cross, being whipped, and strung up and left, gaining comfort in him being strung up and begging to be forsaken sadistic ?

am i a bottom for jesus or a top ?
am i versatile ?
when considering christs penis and his sexuality, the erotic compoents of his redemption, why do i call him genderless ?

is their an erotic, a queer element to that love ?
if so how does that tie into the vertical, father and son realtionship i already have ?