Had the queer talk with Jerry, dealing with stress and fear about which I am. He thinks its wrong and sinful and asked how I could be a catholic,

How do I explain it to him, that I'm queer, and spurn the Homo/hereto binary, that its about performance, that I see the recent talk about sex and language as focculdian progress, that really the priest is a eunuch and therefore they are promised the kingdom of heaven, that Christ loved the whores and adulteresses and all the sexual others, that Paul didn’t know what he talking about, that Leviticus was about temple prostitutes, and the epistles were about roman decadence, that all of my acts are queer, that I love my body and celebrate its gifts, that I was kicked out of one church, that I have prayed and begged god to make me love women and it didn’t work, that Christ ordains love, that Christ didn’t set down a sexual ethic, that I want to fall in love with a boy and be happy ever after, that I don’t really think about it, that I think of Theresa de Avila and remember how much pleasure the holy spirit gave her, that the sensual nature of the church connects to sex, that I think Christ had a most beloved disciple that may or may not have been a boy, that I think that Boswell was correct about how queer the early church was, that I think that Augustine and Jerome repression was, how I imagine Christ’s penis, what happened with the LDS and elder Kevin Guy Luke, that I am still adding to the puzzle, that I saw Jacob and the angel as erotic, that I saw BDSM in the stations of the cross, that sebastion, with all of those lovely phallic arrows, that I see our people in the strange lives of monks and nuns.

I started by asking him if he masturbated, and whether he confessed.
He said yes and yes,
How can you talk to a boy who feels so shameful that he cannot touch his genitals without confessing the joy of sexuality?
I wanted to reach over and hug him, hard, not for sex, but for touch, I wanted to tell him that it was ok.

I stopped talking.