Friday, December 13, 2002
saw andrew off at the bus station, and he and i talked over a and w-about jesus, and contempary art and his paper, and a general good day.
a homeless man came up to us and engaged in conversation about the weather, and afterwards christianity- he then asked for 5 bucks, and when andrew gave him 5 ( i didnt have any in my pockets, i spent 20 bucks today and im not sure what on (well 10 for supper, 3 to get into the eag, 3 for a drink at buger baron, 2 for printing, and i have a twonie in my pocket). the guy then asked for 10, i couldnt belive his chutzpah.
andrew then asked me why i hated myself and admitted to discomfort about my queerness, how can i explain the ambguities and complexities of my sexual desire to a boy who doesnt belive in it at all ?
i had been seeing someone quietly and he broke up with me yesterday, and seeing andrew happy going to vancouver, to see the girl he knows hes gonna spend the rest of his life with makes me happy.
a homeless man came up to us and engaged in conversation about the weather, and afterwards christianity- he then asked for 5 bucks, and when andrew gave him 5 ( i didnt have any in my pockets, i spent 20 bucks today and im not sure what on (well 10 for supper, 3 to get into the eag, 3 for a drink at buger baron, 2 for printing, and i have a twonie in my pocket). the guy then asked for 10, i couldnt belive his chutzpah.
andrew then asked me why i hated myself and admitted to discomfort about my queerness, how can i explain the ambguities and complexities of my sexual desire to a boy who doesnt belive in it at all ?
i had been seeing someone quietly and he broke up with me yesterday, and seeing andrew happy going to vancouver, to see the girl he knows hes gonna spend the rest of his life with makes me happy.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
agnes martin, post shot warhol, hobein, chardin,poussion, ruscha, thiebald, bonnard, giotto, bacon, balthus, carvarggio, hesse, cranach,hirst, hockney ca. la,hogarth, rivers, johns,twombly, richard prince, kline, krasner,man ray, minor white, le chapelle,adler, cady and kenneth noland,christopher wool,peyton, duher, blake, fra angelico,and il sodomo.
fav artists this week courtesy of ilx
Momus-My Sperm is not Your Enemy
There is debate that this album is not as political as his other work, which confuses me, because Momus is all about aesthetics and fashion and posturing- his Maoists are in fashion and the permanent cultural revaluation is about hemlines- on that note our synth pop Haydn is back, our spooge obsessed Schubert, its old Momus as good as old Momus, and for all of this talk about a new direction and deconstruction, he is more stuck then Madonna. It doesn’t really matter because I’m all about his rakish raspy drawl and his calculated John Wilmot in the 21st Century personae.
There is a coda-all abstract and analogue Commodore 64 and Atari Noises which is much odder, prettier and god forbid American then we deserve. I want to hear the album he makes when the words run out.
nyplm review
Anthony, that coda is more American than the song because it's entirely the work of Adam Bruneau, resident of Dacula, Georgia. You can hear the album he made when the words ran out, it's half of 'Shakestation' by Super Madrigal Brothers, available at www.darlashop.com
momus responds
art party, where the art was evil and the artist was related to the media, so a bunch of unctous olegionous media flacks looking at half landscape half abstract, painted with the skill expected of a spastic monkey.
our lady of gaudleope, with its shades of icons and the workers power, its implications of refuting coloniosm and subverting them was today
had peter for lunch, bought avant noise cds, party invite
this is random, but thomas wanted longer entries.
fav artists this week courtesy of ilx
Momus-My Sperm is not Your Enemy
There is debate that this album is not as political as his other work, which confuses me, because Momus is all about aesthetics and fashion and posturing- his Maoists are in fashion and the permanent cultural revaluation is about hemlines- on that note our synth pop Haydn is back, our spooge obsessed Schubert, its old Momus as good as old Momus, and for all of this talk about a new direction and deconstruction, he is more stuck then Madonna. It doesn’t really matter because I’m all about his rakish raspy drawl and his calculated John Wilmot in the 21st Century personae.
There is a coda-all abstract and analogue Commodore 64 and Atari Noises which is much odder, prettier and god forbid American then we deserve. I want to hear the album he makes when the words run out.
nyplm review
Anthony, that coda is more American than the song because it's entirely the work of Adam Bruneau, resident of Dacula, Georgia. You can hear the album he made when the words ran out, it's half of 'Shakestation' by Super Madrigal Brothers, available at www.darlashop.com
momus responds
art party, where the art was evil and the artist was related to the media, so a bunch of unctous olegionous media flacks looking at half landscape half abstract, painted with the skill expected of a spastic monkey.
our lady of gaudleope, with its shades of icons and the workers power, its implications of refuting coloniosm and subverting them was today
had peter for lunch, bought avant noise cds, party invite
this is random, but thomas wanted longer entries.
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Thinking about Narnia
I was raised on stories that had rape (Snow White), torture (Red Rose, with the red hot shoes), death by freezing (Jack London), bodies transmogrified by nascent surrealism (Alice in Wonderland), beatings (Huck Finn), absentee fathers (Huck Finn), animals of all sorts dying (Old Yeller, Jackie the Cur), frozen legs being chopped off by (Mrs. Mike), starvation (The Little Match Girl), cannibalism (the marzipan heart in Snow White), hidden gardens (The Secret Garden), eyes being pecked out (Cinderella), evil witches, Indian spies (Kim) and all other kinds of mysterious spaces- it was weird and odd and wonderful- it featured more sex and violence, and out there sex and violence -then ever could have been healthy- I loved them all though, and every thing else my mother read me that wasn¡¯t children¡¯s literature (i.e. Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Blake)
Children were not shielded and the world was not happily ever after- it was a cruel place, but a place filled with adventures and secrets- an exciting places. Narnia, which I avoided as a child-does not have any of the mysterious spaces, the sex, the violence, the danger or the subterfuge- there is always an escape route back to the English middle classes. Its also celibate in a really repressed way- In his essay reviewing Norton¡¯s Annotated Fairy Tales, found in the 12/09/02 New Yorker- Adam Gopnik says this:
" ... CS Lewis's Narnia tales uneasily mix an optimistic Christian morality with a darker and more intuitive pagan one... "
Now this is not a bad thing, except that as a folk form the parable and the fairy tale are diametrically opposed- one is about danger and sex, all of the id ridden Freudian black spaces, and one is about safety and celibacy, the super ego imposing order.
The struggle of Narnia is not one of Good against Light in a divine sense-but of form ¨C my early up bringing has lead me to like my children¡¯s lit to maintain the possibility of death, and Narnia doesn¡¯t do that?
In Dante¡¯s Divine Comedy Heaven is dull compared to Hell, writing about joy leads you less adjectives and is more tenuous then the varied unpleasentries found in the Inferno. The same case can be made for Milton- and Blake made it best when he said ¡°Milton was of the devil's party and he didn't know it." ¨Cnot to say that Milton or Dante were into hell as people, their theology leant towards heaven and so did Lewis¡¯s- As well comparing a series of Children¡¯s Novels to some of the best Christian theology is ludicrous- the argument I am making is that Lewis seems to be scared of the muck, of the shit, of the daily effects of sin and life, and so the books are didactic and dull- the strongest passages from a writely point of view deal with the witch and Charon and evil- I mean describing Anslan and as a big pussy cat really has no regal power does it ?
This is matched by elements of low comedy and sudden rescue, much of it seems clumsy and much of it seems like there is a better book coming out of it.
So why do I feel a compulsion to finish it?
I was raised on stories that had rape (Snow White), torture (Red Rose, with the red hot shoes), death by freezing (Jack London), bodies transmogrified by nascent surrealism (Alice in Wonderland), beatings (Huck Finn), absentee fathers (Huck Finn), animals of all sorts dying (Old Yeller, Jackie the Cur), frozen legs being chopped off by (Mrs. Mike), starvation (The Little Match Girl), cannibalism (the marzipan heart in Snow White), hidden gardens (The Secret Garden), eyes being pecked out (Cinderella), evil witches, Indian spies (Kim) and all other kinds of mysterious spaces- it was weird and odd and wonderful- it featured more sex and violence, and out there sex and violence -then ever could have been healthy- I loved them all though, and every thing else my mother read me that wasn¡¯t children¡¯s literature (i.e. Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Blake)
Children were not shielded and the world was not happily ever after- it was a cruel place, but a place filled with adventures and secrets- an exciting places. Narnia, which I avoided as a child-does not have any of the mysterious spaces, the sex, the violence, the danger or the subterfuge- there is always an escape route back to the English middle classes. Its also celibate in a really repressed way- In his essay reviewing Norton¡¯s Annotated Fairy Tales, found in the 12/09/02 New Yorker- Adam Gopnik says this:
" ... CS Lewis's Narnia tales uneasily mix an optimistic Christian morality with a darker and more intuitive pagan one... "
Now this is not a bad thing, except that as a folk form the parable and the fairy tale are diametrically opposed- one is about danger and sex, all of the id ridden Freudian black spaces, and one is about safety and celibacy, the super ego imposing order.
The struggle of Narnia is not one of Good against Light in a divine sense-but of form ¨C my early up bringing has lead me to like my children¡¯s lit to maintain the possibility of death, and Narnia doesn¡¯t do that?
In Dante¡¯s Divine Comedy Heaven is dull compared to Hell, writing about joy leads you less adjectives and is more tenuous then the varied unpleasentries found in the Inferno. The same case can be made for Milton- and Blake made it best when he said ¡°Milton was of the devil's party and he didn't know it." ¨Cnot to say that Milton or Dante were into hell as people, their theology leant towards heaven and so did Lewis¡¯s- As well comparing a series of Children¡¯s Novels to some of the best Christian theology is ludicrous- the argument I am making is that Lewis seems to be scared of the muck, of the shit, of the daily effects of sin and life, and so the books are didactic and dull- the strongest passages from a writely point of view deal with the witch and Charon and evil- I mean describing Anslan and as a big pussy cat really has no regal power does it ?
This is matched by elements of low comedy and sudden rescue, much of it seems clumsy and much of it seems like there is a better book coming out of it.
So why do I feel a compulsion to finish it?
ATOMIC KITTEN - "The Tide Is High (Get The Feeling) 6
If I was still in high school, and I loved a boy, and it was June, a week before the school year ended, I would cruise the mall looking for hotness, singing along to this.
AVRIL LAVIGNE - "Sk8er Boi" 4
Fame as melodrama, something really not new, but never as banal as this.
BIG BROVAZ - "Nu Flow"
New flow sounds like old flow.
BUSTED - "Thats What I Go To School For" 5
A teenage boys jack off fantasy that sounds more authentic then mtv might allow.
CHRISTINA AGUILERA - "Dirrty" 6
The song is supposed to be the new fuck me I’m legal Christina, and does have some potential, but it still seem to have an element of little girl playing grown up. I don’t think she’s ever had sex, only heard of it from r a b and Madonna.
COLDPLAY - "In My Place" 8
Mopey Anglo to the core but his voice sends little shivers up my spine.
A safe morissey for housewives, but better.
ELVIS vs JXL - "A Little Less Conversation" 9
It took a Dutchman to make Elvis more then warhol multiples, secanol and shitting himself to death on the toilet, wouldn’t have worked with one of the famous ones, and the extra noise doesn’t really matter, cause its all about the molasses thick Memphis drawl, come back dark prince, we love you again.
EMINEM - "Without Me" 5
It doesn’t feel like social criticism any more but another small dicked wonder waving it around, trying to prove his own power. Repetitive and stupid, which is a shame because the boy used to be clever and new.
EVE feat. ALICIA KEYS - "Gangsta Lovin" 6
What we have here is two genuine vocal talents outclassed by the shimmery Phil Spector in Harlem production
FISCHERSPOONER - "Emerge" 10
Like kraftwerk made as plesurebots,
There is nothing human here and it is warmer and more erotic then Dirrty, cyborg culture is warm for your loving.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - "Like I Love You" 5
For some one who has been condemned and discounted in the media, it is strange how much this white boy sings and dances like whacko jacko- all the way down to the grunts and the falsetto, purely by the numbers.
KELLY OSBOURNE - "Papa Don't Preach" 6
Hard Rock Cover of Madonna when she was making great pop songs, rather then just deconstructing them.
Savage Parody of the media culture she has found her self emerged, and a voice that is so over produced that you cannot tell whether it sucks or rules, all standards are out the window and all that matters is that I am singing this out loud.
KHIA - "My Neck My Back" 4
A paean to the glory of analingus. This needed to come sooner.
LAS KETCHUP - "The Ketchup Song" 3
The dance that goes with this is too complicated, and cannot be done in baseball stadiums; it will not break in America. This pleases me.
LCD SOUNDSYSTEM - "Losing My Edge"
MADONNA - "Die Another Day"
Sir Reg may have bitched about the lack of Bassey, but really its not about Bond but about Madge, the body keeping closed, the skittering beats, and the volumes of material found in the silences, she doesn’t want Siggy to analyse this, she wants the press to stop, her voice is getting better- burnished, maybe it’s the studio production, quoting eccleisaties, talking about sin, growing up, the cut apart violins, it sounds like a manifesto for pop success, it sounds like a new strategy, it sounds like she if refuting what made her famous, it sounds fantastic.
MISS DYNAMITE - "It Takes More" 5
A primer on sexual ethics envolped in a proper genre works out.
NELLY - "Hot In Herre" 8
A good pop single made better by encouraging frat boys to take it off.
NELLY AND KELLY - "Dilemma" 7
Kelly has a better voice then Beyonce and more intimate phrasing, something missing in this age of bombast.
This is in fact a rather understated and subtle love song, lovely in its own way.
NIRVANA - "You know you’re right"
Been a bootleg for ten years, grafting metal and pop doesn’t seem new, but it makes me remember with fondness, how much I miss the old verse chorus verse, loud soft loud, and that glorious growl, Cobain was a great stylist, a v. good vocalist, we forget that.
PINK - "Just Like A Pill"
The love as drug metaphor is dead and the bridge that leads to the chorus is dull.
Pill/ill is a lazy rhyme. No sing along potential.
PUDDLE OF MUDD - "She Hates Me" 4
I want my teenage pathos with more anger.
It’s like Ween, but I know Ween is kidding, but I know these guys are serious.
Relationships with the shelf life of yoghurt don’t need a song.
S CLUB JUNIORS - "Automatic High" 0
The Paedo pop of Aaron Carter and lil' bow wow but English.
SCOOTER - "Ramp! (The Logical Song)"
Fags should not be allowed to make dance music, it becomes both throbbing and cute, like a teddy bear with a raging hard on
SUGABABES - "Round Round" 5
I should hate this, and I don’t. I am not sure why.
THE CLIPSE - "Grindin" 4
I have never gotten over my discomfort with the phrase nigger and bitches, and strippers anthems are never really interesting, but he does he get points for honesty.
THE VINES - "Get Free"
All I know is that this is the perfect music to pogo to on a Friday night and grind to on a Saturday morning. and baby that’s all I want.
THE CORAL - "Dreaming Of You"
All of those happy memories, 50s calypso, 60s cali pop, 70s singer songwriter, Cyndi Lauper, Stephin Merritts boy as he walks down the street. Catchy.
TIM MCGRAW - "Red Rag-Top" 10+10
Small and acoustic, and sad, in the country way about common tragedies that reverberates,
This one makes me cry because it makes no judgements; the political message is missing,
The narrative tells the story, exhausting.
TRUTH HURTS - "Addictive" 9
Qawalli, hand claps, undulating female voices, pop exoticism but folded in, is the hip hop rapping and the sugar daddy anthem, its an odd fusion of the spiritual and the intensely cynical.
VANESSA CARLTON - "A Thousand Miles" 8
Sounds like leafless trees and stark walks through neighbourhoods and sort of that pseudo dyke punk that was popular for five minutes 6 years ago. Good.
Pop Focus Group, didnt mention the hip hop this one b/c i dont get it-also less i truly loved. (cf the streets)
If I was still in high school, and I loved a boy, and it was June, a week before the school year ended, I would cruise the mall looking for hotness, singing along to this.
AVRIL LAVIGNE - "Sk8er Boi" 4
Fame as melodrama, something really not new, but never as banal as this.
BIG BROVAZ - "Nu Flow"
New flow sounds like old flow.
BUSTED - "Thats What I Go To School For" 5
A teenage boys jack off fantasy that sounds more authentic then mtv might allow.
CHRISTINA AGUILERA - "Dirrty" 6
The song is supposed to be the new fuck me I’m legal Christina, and does have some potential, but it still seem to have an element of little girl playing grown up. I don’t think she’s ever had sex, only heard of it from r a b and Madonna.
COLDPLAY - "In My Place" 8
Mopey Anglo to the core but his voice sends little shivers up my spine.
A safe morissey for housewives, but better.
ELVIS vs JXL - "A Little Less Conversation" 9
It took a Dutchman to make Elvis more then warhol multiples, secanol and shitting himself to death on the toilet, wouldn’t have worked with one of the famous ones, and the extra noise doesn’t really matter, cause its all about the molasses thick Memphis drawl, come back dark prince, we love you again.
EMINEM - "Without Me" 5
It doesn’t feel like social criticism any more but another small dicked wonder waving it around, trying to prove his own power. Repetitive and stupid, which is a shame because the boy used to be clever and new.
EVE feat. ALICIA KEYS - "Gangsta Lovin" 6
What we have here is two genuine vocal talents outclassed by the shimmery Phil Spector in Harlem production
FISCHERSPOONER - "Emerge" 10
Like kraftwerk made as plesurebots,
There is nothing human here and it is warmer and more erotic then Dirrty, cyborg culture is warm for your loving.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - "Like I Love You" 5
For some one who has been condemned and discounted in the media, it is strange how much this white boy sings and dances like whacko jacko- all the way down to the grunts and the falsetto, purely by the numbers.
KELLY OSBOURNE - "Papa Don't Preach" 6
Hard Rock Cover of Madonna when she was making great pop songs, rather then just deconstructing them.
Savage Parody of the media culture she has found her self emerged, and a voice that is so over produced that you cannot tell whether it sucks or rules, all standards are out the window and all that matters is that I am singing this out loud.
KHIA - "My Neck My Back" 4
A paean to the glory of analingus. This needed to come sooner.
LAS KETCHUP - "The Ketchup Song" 3
The dance that goes with this is too complicated, and cannot be done in baseball stadiums; it will not break in America. This pleases me.
LCD SOUNDSYSTEM - "Losing My Edge"
MADONNA - "Die Another Day"
Sir Reg may have bitched about the lack of Bassey, but really its not about Bond but about Madge, the body keeping closed, the skittering beats, and the volumes of material found in the silences, she doesn’t want Siggy to analyse this, she wants the press to stop, her voice is getting better- burnished, maybe it’s the studio production, quoting eccleisaties, talking about sin, growing up, the cut apart violins, it sounds like a manifesto for pop success, it sounds like a new strategy, it sounds like she if refuting what made her famous, it sounds fantastic.
MISS DYNAMITE - "It Takes More" 5
A primer on sexual ethics envolped in a proper genre works out.
NELLY - "Hot In Herre" 8
A good pop single made better by encouraging frat boys to take it off.
NELLY AND KELLY - "Dilemma" 7
Kelly has a better voice then Beyonce and more intimate phrasing, something missing in this age of bombast.
This is in fact a rather understated and subtle love song, lovely in its own way.
NIRVANA - "You know you’re right"
Been a bootleg for ten years, grafting metal and pop doesn’t seem new, but it makes me remember with fondness, how much I miss the old verse chorus verse, loud soft loud, and that glorious growl, Cobain was a great stylist, a v. good vocalist, we forget that.
PINK - "Just Like A Pill"
The love as drug metaphor is dead and the bridge that leads to the chorus is dull.
Pill/ill is a lazy rhyme. No sing along potential.
PUDDLE OF MUDD - "She Hates Me" 4
I want my teenage pathos with more anger.
It’s like Ween, but I know Ween is kidding, but I know these guys are serious.
Relationships with the shelf life of yoghurt don’t need a song.
S CLUB JUNIORS - "Automatic High" 0
The Paedo pop of Aaron Carter and lil' bow wow but English.
SCOOTER - "Ramp! (The Logical Song)"
Fags should not be allowed to make dance music, it becomes both throbbing and cute, like a teddy bear with a raging hard on
SUGABABES - "Round Round" 5
I should hate this, and I don’t. I am not sure why.
THE CLIPSE - "Grindin" 4
I have never gotten over my discomfort with the phrase nigger and bitches, and strippers anthems are never really interesting, but he does he get points for honesty.
THE VINES - "Get Free"
All I know is that this is the perfect music to pogo to on a Friday night and grind to on a Saturday morning. and baby that’s all I want.
THE CORAL - "Dreaming Of You"
All of those happy memories, 50s calypso, 60s cali pop, 70s singer songwriter, Cyndi Lauper, Stephin Merritts boy as he walks down the street. Catchy.
TIM MCGRAW - "Red Rag-Top" 10+10
Small and acoustic, and sad, in the country way about common tragedies that reverberates,
This one makes me cry because it makes no judgements; the political message is missing,
The narrative tells the story, exhausting.
TRUTH HURTS - "Addictive" 9
Qawalli, hand claps, undulating female voices, pop exoticism but folded in, is the hip hop rapping and the sugar daddy anthem, its an odd fusion of the spiritual and the intensely cynical.
VANESSA CARLTON - "A Thousand Miles" 8
Sounds like leafless trees and stark walks through neighbourhoods and sort of that pseudo dyke punk that was popular for five minutes 6 years ago. Good.
Pop Focus Group, didnt mention the hip hop this one b/c i dont get it-also less i truly loved. (cf the streets)
Monday, December 09, 2002
reading pound again, cantos- its like all of the statues i saw in london, one on every street corner, for some great colonial hero that i never could figure out- some were wonderful and some were awful but they were there and inscrutable.
reading it with the readers guide, which only translates- doesnt explain any of the more obscure references, there are lines though that bowl me over.
also reading a book on queers in hollywood, which reminds me of two things
ethel mermans disco album is reissued, and more importantly, according to a 2nd hadn gossip- carol pope and dusty springfield made out in a dyke dive in toronto in the mid 70s.
reading it with the readers guide, which only translates- doesnt explain any of the more obscure references, there are lines though that bowl me over.
also reading a book on queers in hollywood, which reminds me of two things
ethel mermans disco album is reissued, and more importantly, according to a 2nd hadn gossip- carol pope and dusty springfield made out in a dyke dive in toronto in the mid 70s.
Sunday, December 08, 2002
Saturday, December 07, 2002
its 4 pm and its all ready dusk, i have spent the day reading narnia, finishing a book and a half, i had to go to the library and pick up olds and gunn, mostly because i recommended them to andrew, and mostly becausae there is no allegory or metaphor in them- after 250 pages of clever, slight, obvious childrens allegory- its about jesus- reading about AIDS deaths and dysfunctional families is a break.
Thursday, December 05, 2002
Monday, December 02, 2002
Sunday, December 01, 2002
world aids day
I was the generation after the plauge- where the exhaustion moved in- where die ins and kiss ins and roberts no longer ruled meetings in basements.
i came in with the juno twins of protease inhibtors and azt- the ones that saved our lives (our- no one i know died of it) but depended on vulturus drug companies to provide them.
what did those meetings do- what did the research and the discourse and the arguments do ? what did the theories about fort derek do ? what did act up change ? what about the un comitteee on hiv and aids, what can the fags and africans and the immigrants and the iv drug users have in common ?
there are those who think its not HIV, there are those that think (important those, nobel prize winning those) who think that the african strain comes from hunger and the american strain comes from pleasure
hiv was falling, and siph was rising and now hiv is rising
i have nostalgia now- for a time and place where sex was free an easy and where pleasure didnt result in anything more then a broken heart or the clap, which was cured by horse pills and dr visits
there are those who think its mutated teritary siph.
my queer uncle, my mothers age, old enough for the fun, was living at that time- but he avoided itm because of guilt, because of religon because of family ties
there are those who think its a curse from god
i asked earlier, what i thot i learnt from it
in 1965 jfk fucked monroe in the pool of the white house- cock into cunt- banging pounding-those macho pnetrative words
in 1995 clinton hand an affair with monica in the oval office, used fingers tounges, cigars-never pentrated, never banged, no cock into cunt- queer sex, safe sex
pearl necklace, facial, handjob, blow job, its all aids, its all avoiding being pentrated
i fear being pentrated, pentrating, thats what changed, a whole generation of boys who learnt about fingers and tounges, who talked and neghotied
a whole generation of girls who demanded rubbers, gloves, dental danms, who didnt end up being raped in the back seat of chevys
thats what hiv/aids did for north america
africa/asia/south america
machismo, magick, poverty- whoce populations with out the resources.
millions more then the bubeonic, more then the great influenza, more then tb or typhoid or malaria, countries dying over night, and us oin privelige, ignoring them, looking for the pearls in our pigshit
AZT saved us
AZT is too expensive
Protease inhibtors saved us
Protease inhibtors are under patent
thats the great gift of mandela, making the drugs generic, distrubting them for noting, along with condoms and education
What i thot of before becoming catholic wasnt being queer or the borgias or the jews, it was condoms
not birth control, but disease pervention
millions are dying, those tubes of latex need to be given to be saved
they used to be made of lambskin- during the last plauge of this sort- 17th , 18th, 19th century- 300 yrs to discover a cure for siphylis, and arsenic and mercury and lambskin condoms were used in the mean time
are azt and protease our aresnic and mercury
it was called siphylssis after a sheep herder- and the italins balmed it on the french and the french blamed it on the greeks.
now we blame it on the africans or the fags or any numbe rof others
do we blame cancer ?
cant we trat it like concer ?
a disease with out hte history, the morality, the idelogy ?
I was the generation after the plauge- where the exhaustion moved in- where die ins and kiss ins and roberts no longer ruled meetings in basements.
i came in with the juno twins of protease inhibtors and azt- the ones that saved our lives (our- no one i know died of it) but depended on vulturus drug companies to provide them.
what did those meetings do- what did the research and the discourse and the arguments do ? what did the theories about fort derek do ? what did act up change ? what about the un comitteee on hiv and aids, what can the fags and africans and the immigrants and the iv drug users have in common ?
there are those who think its not HIV, there are those that think (important those, nobel prize winning those) who think that the african strain comes from hunger and the american strain comes from pleasure
hiv was falling, and siph was rising and now hiv is rising
i have nostalgia now- for a time and place where sex was free an easy and where pleasure didnt result in anything more then a broken heart or the clap, which was cured by horse pills and dr visits
there are those who think its mutated teritary siph.
my queer uncle, my mothers age, old enough for the fun, was living at that time- but he avoided itm because of guilt, because of religon because of family ties
there are those who think its a curse from god
i asked earlier, what i thot i learnt from it
in 1965 jfk fucked monroe in the pool of the white house- cock into cunt- banging pounding-those macho pnetrative words
in 1995 clinton hand an affair with monica in the oval office, used fingers tounges, cigars-never pentrated, never banged, no cock into cunt- queer sex, safe sex
pearl necklace, facial, handjob, blow job, its all aids, its all avoiding being pentrated
i fear being pentrated, pentrating, thats what changed, a whole generation of boys who learnt about fingers and tounges, who talked and neghotied
a whole generation of girls who demanded rubbers, gloves, dental danms, who didnt end up being raped in the back seat of chevys
thats what hiv/aids did for north america
africa/asia/south america
machismo, magick, poverty- whoce populations with out the resources.
millions more then the bubeonic, more then the great influenza, more then tb or typhoid or malaria, countries dying over night, and us oin privelige, ignoring them, looking for the pearls in our pigshit
AZT saved us
AZT is too expensive
Protease inhibtors saved us
Protease inhibtors are under patent
thats the great gift of mandela, making the drugs generic, distrubting them for noting, along with condoms and education
What i thot of before becoming catholic wasnt being queer or the borgias or the jews, it was condoms
not birth control, but disease pervention
millions are dying, those tubes of latex need to be given to be saved
they used to be made of lambskin- during the last plauge of this sort- 17th , 18th, 19th century- 300 yrs to discover a cure for siphylis, and arsenic and mercury and lambskin condoms were used in the mean time
are azt and protease our aresnic and mercury
it was called siphylssis after a sheep herder- and the italins balmed it on the french and the french blamed it on the greeks.
now we blame it on the africans or the fags or any numbe rof others
do we blame cancer ?
cant we trat it like concer ?
a disease with out hte history, the morality, the idelogy ?
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