Two weeks ago I was invited to an evangelical church service for youth between the ages of 24 and 35, now I couldn't make it last week-but feeling guilty about denying an invitation, I made it this week.

I did it out of politeness, as a fellow Hebrew scripture student said come, and I did it out of curiosity- a certain writers instinct that this would be worth at least 500 words, and I did it out of an intellectual curiosity, and I did it because Jesus and I have not been on the best terms of late.

It took me an hour to get their by bus, and the church looked like an ancient, decaying convention center, with red velveteen cushions on the pews- I spent the first hour listening to a good praise band- they played rock and roll, in that most basic bass, drum, guitar, keyboard set up, and I sort of started grooving, but also writing a draft in my head, taking note of things I wanted to mention- their was a call to offering and I put my name on a visitor card, and I was doing all that cult watch shit my father taught me- then everyone sat down, and there was a sermon, there was in this hour a call for all the new people to put their hands up, and another about guests coming forward.

This sermon started like any hipster does, bad anecdotes about airplanes and questions asked to the audience, I answered two questions- cause I knew the answer - and I was all of a sudden noticed, something I was trying to avoid- the sermon had scripture by power point, something I would usually mock, but I really didn’t feel my cynicism or winking irony I usually have to survive these situations.



Then something happened that I cannot explain at all, he finished his sermon, and the band started up, and I left- I was weeping outside, and I didn’t want to be conspicuous, after I came back-there was an altar call, and I felt imprinted to go to the front of the church- I felt blank and happy, like how the spirit of god is described in conversion literature, my head shut off and I felt a strong desire to go to the altar and be cleansed- like all of my sins, and all of my actions others consider sins-would disappear, and I would be happy and joyous and forever in the arms of Christ Jesus. I have been unusually quiet today, and is feeling deeply confused