11:59 AM me: hey hey
Rachel: ho-ho!
me: so i had this werid thing in group
and i wanted to ask yr opinon
we were talking about processing emotions
and history
12:00 PM i touched on trauma, and how the terror seemed so immediate that it would be beyond analysis,
and that it felt like zombies
popping up w.o my control
i wanted to kill those zombies
but they talked about the zombies presence in intergrating my wonderful self, making me me
but i was talking to raymond about this last night
12:01 PM i am unsure how functional the old ways of thinking are
i want to get rid of the terror of sjsa
i want to be less depressed
and i believe in a multiplicity of selves, that can be changed or killed, when they have lost their usefulness
does that make sense?
12:02 PM Rachel: I definately think so,
what you're talking about is a reaction agaist essentialism
not really multiplicity
12:03 PM but the notion that multiples exist but are also discarded.
kinda like flaking off skin and discarding/recycling dead cells.
me: snakes
Rachel: part of a larger unit but divisable and disposable.
me: im not sure i believe in a larger unit
12:04 PM Rachel: larger unit being you?
me: the self in general
Rachel: well, there is self simply because you say it is so.
self exists as long as its being considered, then it flubs back into the rest
me: the self isnt monolithic though
Rachel: maybe?
12:05 PM me: flubs back into the rest?
Rachel: nope, but its there as long as its being considered as a thing unto itself, its momentarily monolithic.
its like, kneeding dough...
12:06 PM you can divide the dough and focus on one bit, but then squish it bach with the rest of teh dough when your finished considering it.
12:07 PM shifting degrees of taxonomy and nothing more.
me: can the dough lump ever be made smaller, can it be cut away permenatley, maybe not surgically, but roughly the same way
Rachel: maybe, but it will always have its history with the rest.
12:08 PM me: how does one process that history out of operational status
Rachel: similar material will link it together, or not, depending on how its consideered
deductive reasoning?
12:09 PM me: tell me more
12:10 PM Rachel: I have this thing, lets think about what similarities it holds to other things...
... its kinda like archeology, semi-fictitious.
12:11 PM guesswork, comparison..
me: this is butler, right
Rachel: most organisation of information is based off of some "scheme".
bit of butler, bit of something old and greek maybe.
12:12 PM me: my scheme is pink and decorated w. unicorns
Rachel: nice.
12:13 PM me: missionaries just came in, and im wearing my pope shirt, and they were trying to figure it out, they called my shirt weird, the younger one looked like alfred ne newman
12:15 PM Rachel: Honestly, I think it all boils down to the creation of sorted sets, taxonomies. These shifting codes and grouping. "acurate" analysis comes when you manage to shift your thinking into that of the code-writer. I think thats what makes a good archeologist/anthropologist/sociologist...etc.
or literary/art critic.
me: and the old codes arent working, soi im in to learn new codes, but yeah its difficult
12:16 PM and im good at synthesis/analysis
12:17 PM Rachel: maybe think of the old codes in a historic sence (these are this way because of this context) and then "evolve" it
me: im just having a bugger of a time figuring out the new language, the new codes, the structures of what they are saying or not saying, and then if i agree or disagree w. that
Rachel: is this in psych?
me: yeah
and i cant drop the subtext, ray says i just got to play it as it lays
12:18 PM Rachel: I think you can chose to read it in a certain way.
or in teh most useful way to you.
me: i dont know whats useful yet3
Rachel: is the subtext of use, or is it hindering you?
me: hindering i think
12:19 PM (can i be an asshole, and talk to you tonite about this, im famished
Rachel: okay.. I'd also really need your help with teh camp thing.
12:20 PM me: can i blog this?
Rachel: sure. as long as I dont look like too much of an asshole/idiot.
me: you dont at all, love you