towards a deft:

the center axis of queerness is not a sexual one. it is not the sexual taste, practice, ability, praxis or theory that makes one queer, but how far from the hegemonic center those tastes, practices, abilities, praxises, and theories are (so gay and straight are closer then downlow or other msm potentials, the theatrical, almost liturgical rigour of formalised #### communities is closer then casual, unregulated, but still consensual pain/pleasure scenarios, etc...

so the estrangement from hegemonic norms is what causes (sadness/frustration/anger/rawness) as opposed to something formalised, from a freduian context like homophobia.