hung out wiht some of the old boys tonight, and its weird--they dont view it as negative at all, as positive, and i dont know, if it was wholly negative, or not.

the photos of the hike, of the canoe trip, of town breaks and of homme d noir and the end/beginnings all seem idyllic, young bodies doing what young bodies do best, and i keep wondering if its just works for some people and works not for others--and tolling up the number of inmates, addicts, uni flunkouts, etc that came out of my class, i wonder if its a question of sample size?

i wonder if its easy to blame sjsa on the trauma of my latter lives, my vices becoming the effects of one easy singualr cause, and i wonder how much of my memories have become party fodder, well constructed narratives that contain moral lessons or sweet anecdotes or jokes or something darker.