reposted that as the easiest way to show aaron.
spent three hours with him today, going over his essay line by line, he writes w. a clarity that astonishes.

tuesday bible study with the proddies led me to question the whole god is love, love is not easy or simple or wonderful, and gods love, the love of eternity, astonishes, it should fill us with awe, an awe that can be wrathful, and destructive.

to be crucified beside christ, to be subsumed into the body of christ is an act of violence, not something entered lightly.
he is the paschal lamb, he takes away the sins of the world-
and in the words that come after that in mass, have mercy.

we should beg for his mercy and grace, and still we do not deserve it.
i am a wretched fallen man.

the bible study got me thinking, and praying about these questions:
am i saved
are you saved
are we born again

what evil can i commit so that saving grace can be revoked

is the saving a process
does the struggle result in the saving, is the saving or comes afterwords
does it come the minute i say the sinners prayers

i am sinful and wretched, when god said to magdalene go out and sin no more, what was he really saying, was it a commandment, could it be kept ?

what does it mean when i let jesus into my heart
can he be let out again

if the pope says heaven is the presence of gods love, is it not a physical place ?

how can we translate this to the words of catholicism

talking to glenys, she didnt have any answers either.
im scared.