hanging out with gerard, jason, jerome, et. al i realised that one of the things i like most of it, is that i dont have to be cool, or hip, or with it...i can be earnest and cheesy, and not worry about my status as an ironist or as a bitter son of a bitch.

thinking about jerome, who is about to become a benedictine, and the church, i still feel a call towards the priesthood, or some kind of preisthood, a calling towards the vocation, but talking to ray about this earlier today, we came to the odd conclusion that if god gives a vocational calling She in her infinite mercy will actually provide a way to go ahead and do it, since there isnt an option for maintaining that vocational call and being a catholic, it might mean that She wants me somewhere else. im slowly coming towards this realazation.

we also determined that staying in the church was a social/pychological equivlent to opus deis circe and flail, and so i really have no room to stand on...

which i guess makes me a serial monogomsit instead of a church tourist