things to do before dropping off portfolio

1. edit, prune, and tighten CV
2. print off artist statements for lips and movie stars
3. edit artist statement for lips , make it clear that it isn't quite anti consumerist
   
4. find proper box for portfolio (thinking one of the purple ones from ivory)

i am really scared ab out this, he knows im coming, but he doesnt offer advice, and i am less confident that these are "real" photographs, the move to conceptual is a big one, esp since i realise that almost everyone i know who is famous and who has worked conceptually except maybe emin, knows how to draw first, the tiny work, the ephemeral work is easier (though i had a crisis of concious about the holy/beautiful peices today) because it can be thrown away and so i dont have to think of it as really work--i mean thats not all of why i do it, but a large chunk of my fear/distrust of the gallery system is i think a self esteem thing.

(i have this fantasy, about the holy/beautfiul work that it will be found and treasured, a fantasy that was crushed when i saw one on the ground, underfoot and soaked by rain...if you want to be a situationist, you have to commit to the idea that there will be nothing left of yr work--and if you are willing to commit to that idea, then maybe engaging in galleries and musuems is hypocritical, but then engaging in musuems and galleries is the only way one can get paid)

it also is the core of my hanging situation.

on a side note, it was kind of a meloncholy, low key day, i'm 27 and i feel like i am spinning my wheels, frittering my life way, playing lady who lunches as opposed to doing annything helpful...i feel decadent, and broke which is not a good combo.