Today i was sitting outside Hallmark at southgate mall , see they made these skylights w. famous poetic qoutations(they had four of these sky lights, and i had shellys ode to the west wind, which made me smile-no one seems and underneath each light is a table, chesterfield and arm chair. I sit on this armchair reading a book of radical queer and femminst preformance poetry, and look at all of the fathers and sons, not very often a mother or a sister-everyone looked so happy and irony free.

i wasnt bothered by security though i was there for nearly an hour, i guess i am too fat to be homeless, and anyways i had a bag of shopping at my feet.

the minute i got comfortable, i was stopped-and told to sit up-which made me realize that malls are still kindgardens for capitialists.

went to hallmark afterwards, and tried to get a card, none for how i felt about my dad, and we had dinner, wasnt comfortable. fuck this false and forced bon homie-at pats last night being with his mom and sister seemed so comfortable, does this mean that a happy family can exist.

is it bad to want to spend more time with ones friends then ones family. or spend more time with them.