b/c it was raining, and b/c i was killing time, i helped two elders move a member into her house on lansdowne, a few blocks from my own house.
i did it because i always help (homeless money, kids food, eldery taxis, foreigners directions--all yesterday) and i did it b/c i always stop to talk to elders, and i did it b/c i wanted to see the indoors of someone elses house and i did it b/c young men in shirt sleeves and nothing else, there sacred garments making rymans around too pure necks, is one of the sexiest things in the world, and i did it b/c i get a little thrill when they ask me which ward im in i tell them im not and they tell me im a good man (nice guy vs good man, compare and contrast) and i think also if i do enough good deeds, maybe they will forget the whole kgl incident and make a member in full standing again, not that i ever wanted to be in the first place...thats my erotic lust, sacred desire, banal guilt and pseduo boredom all moving into one place.
i want to be forgiven--like what the masterbater said to clarice in silence of the lambs---just before hannibal lector made him swallow his tounge (paraphrased from memory--"i want to be near jesus/i want to be near christ/maybe this can happen/if i act real nice")
review from the superdanish craft show on brown wedge, still thinking about i heart huckabees, which i saw w. pat.
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Friday, October 29, 2004
alright some thots:
i want pat to invite his work buddy jason to this thing on the third, but he seems both a little shy, and wondering about the proper context of these things--this is complicated by the fact that jason is a sexually ambigous hottie who i would like to engage in mutual discourse w.; which means i am going to be ending up inviting him.
ray and i had another fite about the word problematize, which i view as legitimate, and he views as a symbol of hermeticism, cult language and all sorts of other unclarity--i want a langague that reflects the slippages, subntexts, hidden thickets of meanings and organic decay/growth--which might prevent clarity but would allow for more things to be said in more interesting ways (reading delanys motion of light on water, and he talks of taking a train trip w. marylin hasker, his then wife, and finding out how to get the most information in the least amount of space, and he decided a new form where t he phonome(sp) would indicate a word, not even the sylabble, but the phonome (sp)--that strange effiency i admire)
thinking of the langauge debate, i am thinking more of photos, and realizing that what i think i want is a photographic discussion similar to delany, namely, i want one foto to reflect time, place, history, form, politics, and other nitpick content. i am attracted to fotos b/c they seem to be closest to reflecting both the strange effeincey(sp) and the slippage i require in texts.
the thing that i need to know more about is the techincal rather then formal aspects of fotos, what makes a c print, the chemistry of the poloroid, b&w/colour's scientific processes, why daugetrtypes disappear in 100 years and digitial prints rarely last 5.
this would mean that i need to know more about sci. in general, biology, chemisty,physics, etc...pat said that he would teach me about phyisics. (!!) i still think that it is too self contained, does not seek mystery, does not problematize its texts, assumes that it will have its answers, seeks truth where truth might not be held, its a kind of theology, and its followers do not seem to realize the god they are worshipping (popper)
when i say slippage do i mean lacunae, c/c them b oth, i think.
i want pat to invite his work buddy jason to this thing on the third, but he seems both a little shy, and wondering about the proper context of these things--this is complicated by the fact that jason is a sexually ambigous hottie who i would like to engage in mutual discourse w.; which means i am going to be ending up inviting him.
ray and i had another fite about the word problematize, which i view as legitimate, and he views as a symbol of hermeticism, cult language and all sorts of other unclarity--i want a langague that reflects the slippages, subntexts, hidden thickets of meanings and organic decay/growth--which might prevent clarity but would allow for more things to be said in more interesting ways (reading delanys motion of light on water, and he talks of taking a train trip w. marylin hasker, his then wife, and finding out how to get the most information in the least amount of space, and he decided a new form where t he phonome(sp) would indicate a word, not even the sylabble, but the phonome (sp)--that strange effiency i admire)
thinking of the langauge debate, i am thinking more of photos, and realizing that what i think i want is a photographic discussion similar to delany, namely, i want one foto to reflect time, place, history, form, politics, and other nitpick content. i am attracted to fotos b/c they seem to be closest to reflecting both the strange effeincey(sp) and the slippage i require in texts.
the thing that i need to know more about is the techincal rather then formal aspects of fotos, what makes a c print, the chemistry of the poloroid, b&w/colour's scientific processes, why daugetrtypes disappear in 100 years and digitial prints rarely last 5.
this would mean that i need to know more about sci. in general, biology, chemisty,physics, etc...pat said that he would teach me about phyisics. (!!) i still think that it is too self contained, does not seek mystery, does not problematize its texts, assumes that it will have its answers, seeks truth where truth might not be held, its a kind of theology, and its followers do not seem to realize the god they are worshipping (popper)
when i say slippage do i mean lacunae, c/c them b oth, i think.
alright some thots:
i want pat to invite his work buddy jason to this thing on the third, but he seems both a little shy, and wondering about the proper context of these things--this is complicated by the fact that jason is a sexually ambigous hottie who i would like to engage in mutual discourse w.; which means i am going to be ending up inviting him.
ray and i had another fite about the word problematize, which i view as legitimate, and he views as a symbol of hermeticism, cult language and all sorts of other unclarity--i want a langague that reflects the slippages, subntexts, hidden thickets of meanings and organic decay/growth--which might prevent clarity but would allow for more things to be said in more interesting ways (reading delanys motion of light on water, and he talks of taking a train trip w. marylin hasker, his then wife, and finding out how to get the most information in the least amount of space, and he decided a new form where t he phonome(sp) would indicate a word, not even the sylabble, but the phonome (sp)--that strange effiency i admire)
thinking of the langauge debate, i am thinking more of photos, and realizing that what i think i want is a photographic discussion similar to delany, namely, i want one foto to reflect time, place, history, form, politics, and other nitpick content. i am attracted to fotos b/c they seem to be closest to reflecting both the strange effeincey(sp) and the slippage i require in texts.
the thing that i need to know more about is the techincal rather then formal aspects of fotos, what makes a c print, the chemistry of the poloroid, b&w/colour's scientific processes, why daugetrtypes disappear in 100 years and digitial prints rarely last 5.
this would mean that i need to know more about sci. in general, biology, chemisty,physics, etc...pat said that he would teach me about phyisics. (!!) i still think that it is too self contained, does not seek mystery, does not problematize its texts, assumes that it will have its answers, seeks truth where truth might not be held, its a kind of theology, and its followers do not seem to realize the god they are worshipping (popper)
when i say slippage do i mean lacunae, c/c them b oth, i think.
i want pat to invite his work buddy jason to this thing on the third, but he seems both a little shy, and wondering about the proper context of these things--this is complicated by the fact that jason is a sexually ambigous hottie who i would like to engage in mutual discourse w.; which means i am going to be ending up inviting him.
ray and i had another fite about the word problematize, which i view as legitimate, and he views as a symbol of hermeticism, cult language and all sorts of other unclarity--i want a langague that reflects the slippages, subntexts, hidden thickets of meanings and organic decay/growth--which might prevent clarity but would allow for more things to be said in more interesting ways (reading delanys motion of light on water, and he talks of taking a train trip w. marylin hasker, his then wife, and finding out how to get the most information in the least amount of space, and he decided a new form where t he phonome(sp) would indicate a word, not even the sylabble, but the phonome (sp)--that strange effiency i admire)
thinking of the langauge debate, i am thinking more of photos, and realizing that what i think i want is a photographic discussion similar to delany, namely, i want one foto to reflect time, place, history, form, politics, and other nitpick content. i am attracted to fotos b/c they seem to be closest to reflecting both the strange effeincey(sp) and the slippage i require in texts.
the thing that i need to know more about is the techincal rather then formal aspects of fotos, what makes a c print, the chemistry of the poloroid, b&w/colour's scientific processes, why daugetrtypes disappear in 100 years and digitial prints rarely last 5.
this would mean that i need to know more about sci. in general, biology, chemisty,physics, etc...pat said that he would teach me about phyisics. (!!) i still think that it is too self contained, does not seek mystery, does not problematize its texts, assumes that it will have its answers, seeks truth where truth might not be held, its a kind of theology, and its followers do not seem to realize the god they are worshipping (popper)
when i say slippage do i mean lacunae, c/c them b oth, i think.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
- 26 gas stations
- some los angles apartments
- every building on the sunset strip
- thirty four parking lots in los angeles
- nine swimming pools and a broken glass
- real estate oppurtunities (sp)
"i dont even look at it as photography, they are just images to fill a book. "
"they are a collection of facts; a collection of readymades" -
two ed ruscha koans, qouted by hal foster lrb 9/21
some other thots:
the 20 foot by 10 feet rosenquist murrals, the ugly supertech ones (oh to have a picture) compared to the tiny, hidden collages, that work as better and more effiecnet socio--poltical critque ? (hidden because they were ephemreal, dirty, small, studies. recovered as an academic look and see excercise in the guise of a big catalouge, and a big show--whitney, mid 90s, as a reward for living in obscurity.) (ruscha in fact is getting the exact same treatment)
anon. fotos, found fotos, news fotos and porn fotos and underground comicy fotos, crawling out of the woodwork as a mark of authenticity, ignoring the sex and blood and concenrating on the art of the thing...fotos as a touchstone of paraphillia, the twinning of paraphillia and paralitertures (sp) (ie weegee as high art, in musuems, being published as high art; means that what he had to say about news is lost, and we forget how he composed his shots)
whats the aesthetic and moral (ethical) difference b/w eagleston and a family snap (eagleston was used as a family snap to illustrate a seadris essay in gq, b/c to see seadrises actual family would make things too authentic)
im sorry, im rambling, im just t rying to work out an essay
and john peel died, peel was a hero of mine, like he was a hero of everyone elses, because he was difficult, and obscure, and one of those saddos that made a life being a saddo...(being paid for having the biggest record collection must be like being paid to write about buffy.) he was a gatekeeper, a man who liked the noisy, the dirty, the simple and the raw as much as he liked the well composed, the clean, the complex and the artifical. i have his sessions for the slits, which are so muddy that they are almost unlistenable (i like this) and i have a girl group collection from the 60s where he wrote the linear notes, i remember listening to his program via the net 10 yrs ago and hearing wire snuggle closely to belle and sebastion.
leave it to sinker to start a obit on peel w. a discurssion on text (ray and pat--this is how i use the word text, not as object but process--is anything object in my life?)
leave it to sinker to start a obit on peel w. a discurssion on text (ray and pat--this is how i use the word text, not as object but process--is anything object in my life?)
ok big couple of last days...
- my money came in,
- i still havent gotten packages from a few people,
- london i can get to for 500,
- toronto feels small and delicate, so has a desperate desire to hire radical architechts to make them look cosmopolitian, however b/c these superstars have legions of designers behind them toronto gets goodwill bulidings for chanel prices (cf leibskinds crystal conceived on a cocktail napkin, gehrys swoopy nonesense (even old for gehry, now he is melting whole cities and painting them in colours more suitable to smurfs) (exception being the functional, joyus, public space encouraging, disability happy, well lit ocad...it took me a long time to get this)
- you can never really get a radical modernist building, b/c the idea of culling is impossible, the pyschogeography of cities is too large (i was there bitching about 2nd rate fosters, and the guy next after me was bitching that things were too new, too radical)
- (all of this comes from a lecture that i saw w. hume--the toronto star critic)
- ominum gatherum reflected a multipcity of discourses surrounding 9/11 in a way that seemed accurate, honest, and philosophical--somewhere b/w sartes no exit and the notebooks of samuel butler--but i missed the first half hour, and pat/kim hated it.
- published one essay and sent off some book reviews and writing samples to (semi) academic journals.
- worried about next month, but one step at a time.
- never eat the bananarama at spring roll
- one of the most powerful things for me is to see human intervention in modern cleaness, the staff washroom at springroll filled with everything you can fill, b/c there was no room anywhere else reminding me of noise of objects that interupts the sterile curtain of modernist balconied highrise.
- some reading--the new authur has a comic about magic and place w. some of the best pannelling in a while, the lrb of 9/21 has a hal foster review of ruscha that foregrounded some of my thinking on photos (one that i will write on more extensively--rachel called my photos easy to look at but she didnt think they were distinct...they arent.
- d is one of the best cooks, and one who follows the aesthics of classic japanese/french new wave w/o really nowing it (fresh ingredients, made w. sparing interference) --we had leeks, potatos, blue fish, im sorry i didnt eat more.
- read at her place, talked a bit, ate too many cooks, relaxed...
- in 1973 the nebula could have gone to either clarke or pynchon--they chose pynchon;lethem thinks that this is the death of sf. i agree w. lethem. (lethem is isaac bashevis singer, but w. geeks not jews, which means he wont win the nobel.)
- ive been in a lot of pain lately: back, shoulders, knees. i have lost memory, and i have been having one or two lacunae a day. (zebras)
- im thirsty more then im hungry
- always thirsty.
ok big couple of last days...
- my money came in,
- i still havent gotten packages from a few people,
- london i can get to for 500,
- toronto feels small and delicate, so has a desperate desire to hire radical architechts to make them look cosmopolitian, however b/c these superstars have legions of designers behind them toronto gets goodwill bulidings for chanel prices (cf leibskinds crystal conceived on a cocktail napkin, gehrys swoopy nonesense (even old for gehry, now he is melting whole cities and painting them in colours more suitable to smurfs) (exception being the functional, joyus, public space encouraging, disability happy, well lit ocad...it took me a long time to get this)
- you can never really get a radical modernist building, b/c the idea of culling is impossible, the pyschogeography of cities is too large (i was there bitching about 2nd rate fosters, and the guy next after me was bitching that things were too new, too radical)
- (all of this comes from a lecture that i saw w. hume--the toronto star critic)
- ominum gatherum reflected a multipcity of discourses surrounding 9/11 in a way that seemed accurate, honest, and philosophical--somewhere b/w sartes no exit and the notebooks of samuel butler--but i missed the first half hour, and pat/kim hated it.
- published one essay and sent off some book reviews and writing samples to (semi) academic journals.
- worried about next month, but one step at a time.
- never eat the bananarama at spring roll
- one of the most powerful things for me is to see human intervention in modern cleaness, the staff washroom at springroll filled with everything you can fill, b/c there was no room anywhere else reminding me of noise of objects that interupts the sterile curtain of modernist balconied highrise.
- some reading--the new authur has a comic about magic and place w. some of the best pannelling in a while, the lrb of 9/21 has a hal foster review of ruscha that foregrounded some of my thinking on photos (one that i will write on more extensively--rachel called my photos easy to look at but she didnt think they were distinct...they arent.
- d is one of the best cooks, and one who follows the aesthics of classic japanese/french new wave w/o really nowing it (fresh ingredients, made w. sparing interference) --we had leeks, potatos, blue fish, im sorry i didnt eat more.
- read at her place, talked a bit, ate too many cooks, relaxed...
- in 1973 the nebula could have gone to either clarke or pynchon--they chose pynchon;lethem thinks that this is the death of sf. i agree w. lethem. (lethem is isaac bashevis singer, but w. geeks not jews, which means he wont win the nobel.)
- ive been in a lot of pain lately: back, shoulders, knees. i have lost memory, and i have been having one or two lacunae a day. (zebras)
- im thirsty more then im hungry
- always thirsty.
ok big couple of last days...
- my money came in,
- i still havent gotten packages from a few people,
- london i can get to for 500,
- toronto feels small and delicate, so has a desperate desire to hire radical architechts to make them look cosmopolitian, however b/c these superstars have legions of designers behind them toronto gets goodwill bulidings for chanel prices (cf leibskinds crystal conceived on a cocktail napkin, gehrys swoopy nonesense (even old for gehry, now he is melting whole cities and painting them in colours more suitable to smurfs) (exception being the functional, joyus, public space encouraging, disability happy, well lit ocad...it took me a long time to get this)
- you can never really get a radical modernist building, b/c the idea of culling is impossible, the pyschogeography of cities is too large (i was there bitching about 2nd rate fosters, and the guy next after me was bitching that things were too new, too radical)
- (all of this comes from a lecture that i saw w. hume--the toronto star critic)
- ominum gatherum reflected a multipcity of discourses surrounding 9/11 in a way that seemed accurate, honest, and philosophical--somewhere b/w sartes no exit and the notebooks of samuel butler--but i missed the first half hour, and pat/kim hated it.
- published one essay and sent off some book reviews and writing samples to (semi) academic journals.
- worried about next month, but one step at a time.
- never eat the bananarama at spring roll
- one of the most powerful things for me is to see human intervention in modern cleaness, the staff washroom at springroll filled with everything you can fill, b/c there was no room anywhere else reminding me of noise of objects that interupts the sterile curtain of modernist balconied highrise.
- some reading--the new authur has a comic about magic and place w. some of the best pannelling in a while, the lrb of 9/21 has a hal foster review of ruscha that foregrounded some of my thinking on photos (one that i will write on more extensively--rachel called my photos easy to look at but she didnt think they were distinct...they arent.
- d is one of the best cooks, and one who follows the aesthics of classic japanese/french new wave w/o really nowing it (fresh ingredients, made w. sparing interference) --we had leeks, potatos, blue fish, im sorry i didnt eat more.
- read at her place, talked a bit, ate too many cooks, relaxed...
- in 1973 the nebula could have gone to either clarke or pynchon--they chose pynchon;lethem thinks that this is the death of sf. i agree w. lethem. (lethem is isaac bashevis singer, but w. geeks not jews, which means he wont win the nobel.)
- ive been in a lot of pain lately: back, shoulders, knees. i have lost memory, and i have been having one or two lacunae a day. (zebras)
- im thirsty more then im hungry
- always thirsty.
Friday, October 22, 2004
big pause, so big i only remember waking in toronto western hospital, w. the dr telling me that the doctor told me that it could still be seizures, cause unless i have an episode on eeg then its as useless as catscans and mri (i've had both of those) so the only thing they have ruled out is tumours and dieabetes (sp)
i dont know what to do.
i dont know what to do.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
SALT LAKE CITY — The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has issued the following statement:
"We of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints reach out with understanding and respect for individuals who are attracted to those of the same gender.
Aside from their odd defintion of respect (mine does not include excommunication, disfellowship, isolation and encouraging dishonesty w. ones self and ones community) they keep conflating sex w. gender—what they are really saying is that gender category one (fully functioning penis, no desire to deconstruct gender) should not interact w. gender category one and gender category two (more complicated, lets say vagina, and no desire to deconstruct gender) should not interact w. gender category two…and they are also assuming that gender category one and two are essential sexual categories, so for example, gender category 3 (FTM, Post-op) or gender category 37 (nevillests, with lemon gelato nipples) can never exist.
We realize there may be great loneliness in their lives but there must also be recognition of what is right before the Lord.
This is the other assumption—most of the queer folks I know who are depressed are not depressed because of there desire to interact w. similar gender categories, but are lonely because they spend at least 2 days a week (Sundays and scout or young womens meetings ) that there desires for love, companionship, sex or contact are sinful and against god. The only reason why they are lonely is the isolation caused by salt lake. Blaming the victim is what slimy defense lawyers do to rape cases. (Another thot…xians are a lonely people, from adam and eve falling from the grace of god, to Christ alone in the tomb, from the mystic desert fathers, to joseph smith in the grove, on his knees begging for answers,,,a desire for company, for a life partner, to end lonlieness is one of the few solutions, and really, the only solution to the lds, b/c they have no monastic tradition.
As a doctrinal principle, based on sacred scripture, we affirm that marriage between a man and a woman is essential to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
Last time I checked, there were many families in the Holy Scriptures, and the idea of family was more diverse and more weird then people give credit for…haggar and abram and sara were a family, david and johnathon were family, Christ and his disciples, Christ and Mary of Magdala were family, the stripling warriors away from there mothers and fathers were family, brother brigham and his sister wives were family. There is more then one kind of family, and the sacred scriptures tell us this.
The powers of procreation
For 90 years Sara was Barren, and she laughed at the miracle of conception. Did the Marriage of Sara and Abram mean less for the years he was Barren, then when he wasn’t ? Christ didn’t marry or have children—he sent parents against the children and mothers against sons. He did not have the sentimental nature for childrearing, there was more important work to be done. For that matter neither did Paul (who claimed that marriage was for the weak, that it was a crutch for those who could not be celibate.)
are to be exercised only between a man and a woman lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
give unto ceasers, what is ceasers…why is marriage one of those things that we are giving to ceaser ? (honest question, one I would like an answer to.)
"Any other sexual relations, including those between persons of the same gender, undermine the divinely created institution of the family.
As I pointed above, there is no divinely created instituion of family…if you really want to do the numbers game, the most common structure of families in the xian bible is (now I know that we could also look to the bom, and the pearl of great price, but both of those were revealed (careful wording) in an era where sexual radicalism was conflicting w. sexual conservatives, and for most of the time sexual radicals won. Also, polygamy is still one the books, you can get married twice in the temple, w, widows and widowers, when everyone gets to the kingdom of heaven, the family unit (more then one mother or father, more then wife and family, will live together in harmony. ) god is more patient towards diversity, weirdness, then we give him credit for.
The Church accordingly favors measures that define marriage as the union of a man and a woman and that do not confer legal status on any other sexual relationship."
The church has always been to sell out its ethics in order to get either power or safety (the kind of raw pragimatism that saw the dissulotion of sister wives when utah was at stake, and the forbidding of blacks in the priesthood when missionary work in latin America and Africa found it too difficult to define exactly who was black. I think that the measure they favour is a continued protestant mainstreaming (one you can see in the Knight Initiave in California, or the censure of Sunstone)
"We of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints reach out with understanding and respect for individuals who are attracted to those of the same gender.
Aside from their odd defintion of respect (mine does not include excommunication, disfellowship, isolation and encouraging dishonesty w. ones self and ones community) they keep conflating sex w. gender—what they are really saying is that gender category one (fully functioning penis, no desire to deconstruct gender) should not interact w. gender category one and gender category two (more complicated, lets say vagina, and no desire to deconstruct gender) should not interact w. gender category two…and they are also assuming that gender category one and two are essential sexual categories, so for example, gender category 3 (FTM, Post-op) or gender category 37 (nevillests, with lemon gelato nipples) can never exist.
We realize there may be great loneliness in their lives but there must also be recognition of what is right before the Lord.
This is the other assumption—most of the queer folks I know who are depressed are not depressed because of there desire to interact w. similar gender categories, but are lonely because they spend at least 2 days a week (Sundays and scout or young womens meetings ) that there desires for love, companionship, sex or contact are sinful and against god. The only reason why they are lonely is the isolation caused by salt lake. Blaming the victim is what slimy defense lawyers do to rape cases. (Another thot…xians are a lonely people, from adam and eve falling from the grace of god, to Christ alone in the tomb, from the mystic desert fathers, to joseph smith in the grove, on his knees begging for answers,,,a desire for company, for a life partner, to end lonlieness is one of the few solutions, and really, the only solution to the lds, b/c they have no monastic tradition.
As a doctrinal principle, based on sacred scripture, we affirm that marriage between a man and a woman is essential to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
Last time I checked, there were many families in the Holy Scriptures, and the idea of family was more diverse and more weird then people give credit for…haggar and abram and sara were a family, david and johnathon were family, Christ and his disciples, Christ and Mary of Magdala were family, the stripling warriors away from there mothers and fathers were family, brother brigham and his sister wives were family. There is more then one kind of family, and the sacred scriptures tell us this.
The powers of procreation
For 90 years Sara was Barren, and she laughed at the miracle of conception. Did the Marriage of Sara and Abram mean less for the years he was Barren, then when he wasn’t ? Christ didn’t marry or have children—he sent parents against the children and mothers against sons. He did not have the sentimental nature for childrearing, there was more important work to be done. For that matter neither did Paul (who claimed that marriage was for the weak, that it was a crutch for those who could not be celibate.)
are to be exercised only between a man and a woman lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
give unto ceasers, what is ceasers…why is marriage one of those things that we are giving to ceaser ? (honest question, one I would like an answer to.)
"Any other sexual relations, including those between persons of the same gender, undermine the divinely created institution of the family.
As I pointed above, there is no divinely created instituion of family…if you really want to do the numbers game, the most common structure of families in the xian bible is (now I know that we could also look to the bom, and the pearl of great price, but both of those were revealed (careful wording) in an era where sexual radicalism was conflicting w. sexual conservatives, and for most of the time sexual radicals won. Also, polygamy is still one the books, you can get married twice in the temple, w, widows and widowers, when everyone gets to the kingdom of heaven, the family unit (more then one mother or father, more then wife and family, will live together in harmony. ) god is more patient towards diversity, weirdness, then we give him credit for.
The Church accordingly favors measures that define marriage as the union of a man and a woman and that do not confer legal status on any other sexual relationship."
The church has always been to sell out its ethics in order to get either power or safety (the kind of raw pragimatism that saw the dissulotion of sister wives when utah was at stake, and the forbidding of blacks in the priesthood when missionary work in latin America and Africa found it too difficult to define exactly who was black. I think that the measure they favour is a continued protestant mainstreaming (one you can see in the Knight Initiave in California, or the censure of Sunstone)
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
qauker meeting (the regular one was at 6, this was the buisness meeting.)
its hard to describe but some things stuck w. me (there was a speaker called rick, and he talked a bit about unity, and we sat in silence, then the community talked about unity.
he talked about unity as a conintuing(sp) 3 part process: union, disunity, reunion--these things that we go thru daily, things that are required for personal and community growth
he talked about the three things that lead to disunity
1) pride
2) aggrandizement (sp) a old friends mystic talked about this as desiring more then one needs, having the wants, and not noticing exactly what yr fill is--the idea that we get x no. of gifts from god, and anymore then that is greedy, a violation of the divine other--a sort of xian "each according to his needs" hundreds of years before marx. a bitter slashing away of health and wealth. a comfort.
3) (i have forgotten the third, fuck...it will come to me)
(the second one was the more impt one)
also, its an old victorian house, with rooms above, a wide kitchen, a big library where jane brought me in and offered to introduce me to the libriaian on sunday... got lots of reading material anyways.
i am happy there, happy there b/c they are not so sure, happy there because there is discussion b/w christ-o-centric friends and universal friends, happy there because of english eccentric women who like their tea, happy there b/c its gethsmani w/o the noise and the structure.
i thot of qauker long and hard before my sojurn into catholicism, why did i not choose it ?
its hard to describe but some things stuck w. me (there was a speaker called rick, and he talked a bit about unity, and we sat in silence, then the community talked about unity.
he talked about unity as a conintuing(sp) 3 part process: union, disunity, reunion--these things that we go thru daily, things that are required for personal and community growth
he talked about the three things that lead to disunity
1) pride
2) aggrandizement (sp) a old friends mystic talked about this as desiring more then one needs, having the wants, and not noticing exactly what yr fill is--the idea that we get x no. of gifts from god, and anymore then that is greedy, a violation of the divine other--a sort of xian "each according to his needs" hundreds of years before marx. a bitter slashing away of health and wealth. a comfort.
3) (i have forgotten the third, fuck...it will come to me)
(the second one was the more impt one)
also, its an old victorian house, with rooms above, a wide kitchen, a big library where jane brought me in and offered to introduce me to the libriaian on sunday... got lots of reading material anyways.
i am happy there, happy there b/c they are not so sure, happy there because there is discussion b/w christ-o-centric friends and universal friends, happy there because of english eccentric women who like their tea, happy there b/c its gethsmani w/o the noise and the structure.
i thot of qauker long and hard before my sojurn into catholicism, why did i not choose it ?
qauker meeting (the regular one was at 6, this was the buisness meeting.)
its hard to describe but some things stuck w. me (there was a speaker called rick, and he talked a bit about unity, and we sat in silence, then the community talked about unity.
he talked about unity as a conintuing(sp) 3 part process: union, disunity, reunion--these things that we go thru daily, things that are required for personal and community growth
he talked about the three things that lead to disunity
1) pride
2) aggrandizement (sp) a old friends mystic talked about this as desiring more then one needs, having the wants, and not noticing exactly what yr fill is--the idea that we get x no. of gifts from god, and anymore then that is greedy, a violation of the divine other--a sort of xian "each according to his needs" hundreds of years before marx. a bitter slashing away of health and wealth. a comfort.
3) (i have forgotten the third, fuck...it will come to me)
(the second one was the more impt one)
also, its an old victorian house, with rooms above, a wide kitchen, a big library where jane brought me in and offered to introduce me on sunday...
i am happy there, happy there b/c they are not so sure, happy there because there is discussion b/w christ-o-centric friends and universal friends, happy there because of english eccentric women who like their tea, happy there b/c its gethsmani w/o the noise and the structure.
i thot of qauker long and hard before my sojurn into catholicism, why did i not choose it ?
its hard to describe but some things stuck w. me (there was a speaker called rick, and he talked a bit about unity, and we sat in silence, then the community talked about unity.
he talked about unity as a conintuing(sp) 3 part process: union, disunity, reunion--these things that we go thru daily, things that are required for personal and community growth
he talked about the three things that lead to disunity
1) pride
2) aggrandizement (sp) a old friends mystic talked about this as desiring more then one needs, having the wants, and not noticing exactly what yr fill is--the idea that we get x no. of gifts from god, and anymore then that is greedy, a violation of the divine other--a sort of xian "each according to his needs" hundreds of years before marx. a bitter slashing away of health and wealth. a comfort.
3) (i have forgotten the third, fuck...it will come to me)
(the second one was the more impt one)
also, its an old victorian house, with rooms above, a wide kitchen, a big library where jane brought me in and offered to introduce me on sunday...
i am happy there, happy there b/c they are not so sure, happy there because there is discussion b/w christ-o-centric friends and universal friends, happy there because of english eccentric women who like their tea, happy there b/c its gethsmani w/o the noise and the structure.
i thot of qauker long and hard before my sojurn into catholicism, why did i not choose it ?
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
in the debates bush holds the microphone like aarons rod ( i know that the rod was placed on an altar,i know to continue that metaphor to its logical conclusion means that i think bush is appointed by god--i think bush thinks hes appointed by god, his faithtalk is v. much in that sense, what i think barely matters) and curls his way around the stge, as his words curl around a point--like every lowkey, trying to be hip, overhead on the wall next to the chrome cross, baptist preacher i know--the media in the east, which dictates these things (ie nytimes, washington post, new republic, nation, etc) has yet to pick up enough semiotics to read religous phrasing, making it subliminal makes it harder (but then bush is not elected by those people--letter in ew today calls owen glieberman to task for saying nice things about the new kerry doc, suggesting it as proper agit prop for the democratic cause.--essay for the future, ew vs people vs us vs the proper tabs)
anglicans have released a document, which i havent read, but is non binding (i dont remember christ doing many of those); which basically states that the newwestminster bishop stop marrying queers and gene robinsonh to stop being so public. it also asked for apologies. the american (primate?) told cbs news that "it is a typical anglican fudge". someone one qouted an amusing t shirt, and i kept back thinking the africans, indians and most latin americans will nto take a typically facile apology from the west; the west will continue to treat queers as the stereotyped "to be libreated next, aren't we special" and the africans and indians w. a colonial disdain; any attempt to be civil or go to the traditions will be lost, and that this document (and i might/will revise this when i get my hands on the fucking thing) is a declaration of war. im angry that it had to come to this, im saddened at the lack of love; im exhausted at how queer issues are treated as a pawn towards larger things; and i feel like i need to stick to this, as a queer xian (or at least my birth gave me the tension b/w jesus and sex, i might as well stick around to see how it turns out). glenys is happier, overjoyed that people care enough for us that they would break apart the church, she admires devotion more then i do.
ed koch is a strict huntigton, clash of civilisations, "islamists seek to destroy us" type, and is working on bushes campaign--even though he "cannot find a domestic issue that they agree on" according to his interview w. john stewart.
anglicans have released a document, which i havent read, but is non binding (i dont remember christ doing many of those); which basically states that the newwestminster bishop stop marrying queers and gene robinsonh to stop being so public. it also asked for apologies. the american (primate?) told cbs news that "it is a typical anglican fudge". someone one qouted an amusing t shirt, and i kept back thinking the africans, indians and most latin americans will nto take a typically facile apology from the west; the west will continue to treat queers as the stereotyped "to be libreated next, aren't we special" and the africans and indians w. a colonial disdain; any attempt to be civil or go to the traditions will be lost, and that this document (and i might/will revise this when i get my hands on the fucking thing) is a declaration of war. im angry that it had to come to this, im saddened at the lack of love; im exhausted at how queer issues are treated as a pawn towards larger things; and i feel like i need to stick to this, as a queer xian (or at least my birth gave me the tension b/w jesus and sex, i might as well stick around to see how it turns out). glenys is happier, overjoyed that people care enough for us that they would break apart the church, she admires devotion more then i do.
ed koch is a strict huntigton, clash of civilisations, "islamists seek to destroy us" type, and is working on bushes campaign--even though he "cannot find a domestic issue that they agree on" according to his interview w. john stewart.
Monday, October 18, 2004
moms in surgery as i write this, im having trouble working the disk that has my resume (it says it isnt formatted, and it fucking is), the porn guy was drunk, have the letters for tomorrow, fed ex late, hungry but should buy groceries, judith butler has a new book out (on war, death, violence, etc--w. a nasty and vocal decimation of isreal irt to palestine (on that note in the last month they have killed 30 kids w. airplanes--herods victims have perpruted herods crime) (and one in paperback) + the feature peice in this weeks LRB, which i need to pick up now that i have a little money.
drew and i talked last night, talking about god as stockholm syndrome, and the good effects of qauker meetings (have read two volumes of ned rorems diaries, and he grew up as a friend, eqaute his gentleness and his queitness w. his god?)
both drew and glenys are teaching sunday school as well. devoutness.
drew and i talked last night, talking about god as stockholm syndrome, and the good effects of qauker meetings (have read two volumes of ned rorems diaries, and he grew up as a friend, eqaute his gentleness and his queitness w. his god?)
both drew and glenys are teaching sunday school as well. devoutness.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
calendar club tomorrow at 7
hmv (w. two reference letters) 2 pm tuesday
bang on--one week
zuewi--one month
icii--i wore all black, he asked me questions that i flubbed on (i only knew 3 belgians and 3 japanese designers), he asked me what i wore (i actually said goodwill), he said i had a look, he seemed confused, and said he would call me in 3 weeks.
i dont even know if it went well. (i mispornunced rei's last name, and i couldnt remeber the last name of ana)
i felt like an idiot
i may have a job.
hmv (w. two reference letters) 2 pm tuesday
bang on--one week
zuewi--one month
icii--i wore all black, he asked me questions that i flubbed on (i only knew 3 belgians and 3 japanese designers), he asked me what i wore (i actually said goodwill), he said i had a look, he seemed confused, and said he would call me in 3 weeks.
i dont even know if it went well. (i mispornunced rei's last name, and i couldnt remeber the last name of ana)
i felt like an idiot
i may have a job.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
i like country from the 80s, its peyton place w/o the incest but grittier
also
http://iscrewrepublicans.blogspot.com/2004/09/who-is-roland-glasgow-and-why-does-he.html
via wonkette
also
http://iscrewrepublicans.blogspot.com/2004/09/who-is-roland-glasgow-and-why-does-he.html
via wonkette
4 mini interviews tomorrow
icii which is the only canuck suppiler of comme d'garcon (also agnes b/junna wannabe)
zuwe which has who chunks of avant japanese and superflat stuff
momba avant french and classic american modernist furniture
north bound leather custom fetish work
all thnx to cold calling
i figure the only way i can get what i want is ask for it
icii which is the only canuck suppiler of comme d'garcon (also agnes b/junna wannabe)
zuwe which has who chunks of avant japanese and superflat stuff
momba avant french and classic american modernist furniture
north bound leather custom fetish work
all thnx to cold calling
i figure the only way i can get what i want is ask for it
Monday, October 11, 2004
derrida died a couple of days ago, and i keep figuring out what to say.
i think that i got him in the gut, and i think he told me how to process things, and im reading him on the mysteries of death and god for the jesus book, and i could be talking about smart things and the tools he gave me and power hidden in texts, but sinker said it all already, better then me, so go to radio free narnia.
tomorrow i will update links.
i think that i got him in the gut, and i think he told me how to process things, and im reading him on the mysteries of death and god for the jesus book, and i could be talking about smart things and the tools he gave me and power hidden in texts, but sinker said it all already, better then me, so go to radio free narnia.
tomorrow i will update links.
i have an agent, i have been enjoying (strangely) conversations w. louis fader, me and kevar changed rooms (i have a thing for hard wood), im broke, and have bills, etc. im feeling sick (stomach and ankles), i like wandering, i have been encouraged to join the reedemer anglican chuch wrt to the queer welcoming committee, im not writing as much as i need to, moms still sick, im still lonely
i miss drew teal, i feel bad for standing him up.
(and i miss dave dolff whos in russia)
i miss drew teal, i feel bad for standing him up.
(and i miss dave dolff whos in russia)
Friday, October 01, 2004
lecture on medieval kidslit @ lillian smith library--afterwards argued about century of childhood w. a woman from princeton (she was v. adamant about parents attachment to children and child workers, etc etc)
lecturer was there too, i argue that there was v. little attachment directed towards children until early victorian cheap sentimentality (17th century 25 % of veinnas kids were foundlings; midwives gave birth to babies and expelled fetuses vs little nell--what was oscar's line about little nell and laughing)
the lecturer made a comment about urban vs rural and the inability for kids to actually work until the age of 12, when they were techincally adolescents--the woman from the kids collection at princeton (v. v. big, basically unlimited funding, knew more then me) went down on me like a harpy about the attachment shit--didnt realize there was so much of a brewhaha about centuries, and that its being reevaulated) --mark sinker, i sent you an email, and i want to talk to you about this stuff as well.
lecturer (who i am calling b/c i forget his name) was impressed by this, by my questions irt to skelton as tudour of hank 8 (speculation: skeltonics and its almost doggerl ryhtyms and strange tendencies as pedological tool) (non speculation: hanks latin comes from skelton, and hanks latin did huge things for the church&clergy upto and including the reformation)
the guy sacrificed major sacred bulls for me and i was really really glad i came...loved that i outfoxed princeton, making me feel smart.
also, will apparently appear in the newsletter of tpl...?!!?
(sidenote(s)--edie as grey on walls of modclub, durian milkshakes @ pho88 which made pats nose curl, the nature of mcdonalds walk vs drive and the cult of the car, d and how she makes me happy, the goatramminghorns that lisa and i get in, 10bux on st, rent and groceries and metropass and foodfantasies and aj being an ass, medics vs medix, pat caflila as lds and the ordianation of emma smith)
lecturer was there too, i argue that there was v. little attachment directed towards children until early victorian cheap sentimentality (17th century 25 % of veinnas kids were foundlings; midwives gave birth to babies and expelled fetuses vs little nell--what was oscar's line about little nell and laughing)
the lecturer made a comment about urban vs rural and the inability for kids to actually work until the age of 12, when they were techincally adolescents--the woman from the kids collection at princeton (v. v. big, basically unlimited funding, knew more then me) went down on me like a harpy about the attachment shit--didnt realize there was so much of a brewhaha about centuries, and that its being reevaulated) --mark sinker, i sent you an email, and i want to talk to you about this stuff as well.
lecturer (who i am calling b/c i forget his name) was impressed by this, by my questions irt to skelton as tudour of hank 8 (speculation: skeltonics and its almost doggerl ryhtyms and strange tendencies as pedological tool) (non speculation: hanks latin comes from skelton, and hanks latin did huge things for the church&clergy upto and including the reformation)
the guy sacrificed major sacred bulls for me and i was really really glad i came...loved that i outfoxed princeton, making me feel smart.
also, will apparently appear in the newsletter of tpl...?!!?
(sidenote(s)--edie as grey on walls of modclub, durian milkshakes @ pho88 which made pats nose curl, the nature of mcdonalds walk vs drive and the cult of the car, d and how she makes me happy, the goatramminghorns that lisa and i get in, 10bux on st, rent and groceries and metropass and foodfantasies and aj being an ass, medics vs medix, pat caflila as lds and the ordianation of emma smith)
stephen shore--class tourism, making the flyover exotic, ny/la hipster not understanding the underlying narrative context
snap shots come from narrative, an attempt to freeze moment, so the so called new topographers who were called snap shooters cannot be called, b/c of there v. careful attention to colour and form above and beyond narrative play
shores the worst of this ?
exception perhaps being the geewhiz holyfuck fotos of andy and factory ?! (narrative, but the narrative that has been told a million times)
shore vs name
shore vs eggeleston?
(gareth, are you reading this please comment, if so--or send me an email, i am writing a longish article on the snapshot and i want to use you)
snap shots come from narrative, an attempt to freeze moment, so the so called new topographers who were called snap shooters cannot be called, b/c of there v. careful attention to colour and form above and beyond narrative play
shores the worst of this ?
exception perhaps being the geewhiz holyfuck fotos of andy and factory ?! (narrative, but the narrative that has been told a million times)
shore vs name
shore vs eggeleston?
(gareth, are you reading this please comment, if so--or send me an email, i am writing a longish article on the snapshot and i want to use you)
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