all shall be well all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well julian of norwich

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

new ashlee simpson song lala (lala means fuck) features references to hardcore bdsm, roleplaying in costume, and fellatio--also allycats (cf the buddy holly like a one eyed cat looking in a sea food store)

it also sounds like baz luhrman, its all cacaphony.
http://www.westarinstitute.org/Periodicals/4R_Articles/Funk_Theses/funk_theses.html

by recentering christ away from an abusive church, and onto the reponsibilty of smaller communities, and by stripping the useless baggage of theology, and returning to politics of people in a spec. geographic space, funk has made christ alive again.

discuss?

Monday, November 29, 2004

and ruscha sent a wedding announcement once, where he was in the middle of a threesome.
oh and the tom cruise fotos in the new gq make him a suburban, normal, dad like house husband, good to slaughter the ego, an attempt to make him "fun" as opposed to scary as fuck...sexy too.

leslieville is worth checking out, most likely next week. (anyone want to come?)
eight houses in 9 hours,

two in finch (too far)
one in don mills (too far)
one in leslieville (too expenisve)
one in the beaches (not nearly close enough to anything, tiny, smelled awful)
one downtown near king (no door to the bedroom)
one near christie(no floor (literally, it was plywood))
one near bloor and yonge (taken 15 min. before i got there)

looking at one in an hour, near bloor and gladstone.

some links:
http://www.dilettantepress.com/articles/masonicArt/masonicgallery1.htm
great exhibit of masonic art
http://www.jpluther.com/index.html
masonic catalog
http://olympics.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=6945283
germans are prosceuting americans for warcrimes

glenys will be here more, as she is most likely going to the philipines
ukraine might be in two before the end of the week.

tired.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

So jd and christine got there way, they got me out of the house—and I like the house, and I like the company, and I don’t want to move, and well, they got me out, which means someone else is moving in, and which means that he wont complain, b/c hes jds friend (which is why jd never wanted me in the first place), so none of the repairs are going to be done, the house will be a disaster and everything will be fucked up. But I wont be there. Apparently I was going to move in dec.---but I cannot move, I cannot afford to move, and keval said he was going ot move in nov. and hes still fucking there. This may be a natural consquence of me calling the housing inspector who called the fire inspector who will still come on dec. 6th , but it is also about the landlords wife lying to me about her moving (and the landlord moving more people in), about the lack of grout in the bath tub and the lack of a proper bathroom door. , the casements falling out of my bedroom windows, the cracks in the basement and wall, the raditor cover missing, the heat not being on, the hole in the kitchen wall covered by the stove, which also fails to work and the landlord being too (lazy/poor/bored/unable/unwilling) to fix what he needs to fix.

jd and christine (esp.) don’t want me there- Christine feels threatened, everytime we fight, she mentions me as a fag, as a fuck up , as rich, as someone who reads too much, who only reads, who has no other life but reading, she must have mentioned this to me dozens of times, and she must have mentioned my supposed wealth more—they forget that I have phone bills, groceries, insurance, medical costs, and rent…and she shouldn’t be there anyways—she is supposed to be in house arrest in missiauga.

(she also thinks im selfish, the fun thing is that I offered immediately to move out, w/o much forethought to move out immediately, and any attempts that keval said that he would help me work it out went down the tubes. )

the long and the short of it, is that I need to find a 400 dollar place w/i two weeks and I don’t think that’s going to happen.

out in the cold. nyc is shot

Friday, November 26, 2004

edmund white talked about gay mens realtionships being banyan trees, with roots popping out, from the same source, miles apart...i was reminded of that, and the diversity that surrounded the table when we took glenys out for dinner last night. (dinner at mt everest, nepalese--worth it, glenys bought)

9 people, could ahve easily been 12, people i have known for 2 months and people i have known for 7 years (sundar, rachel, raymond, glenys, danielle, sean, eileen, patrick.)

we talked about gossip, weirdness, anecdote, theory, history, politics, careers, food, art, sex, books, each other.

before christine and jd called me selfish, but around that table, talking and gossipping, and feeling so much love, i thot--i can be careless, and rough, and my life can be complicated by eris's certain fondness, but im not selfish. (christine and jd called me selfish b/c i called the housing insepctor on the place im living, after not being able to see the landlord, or get him to return my calls...35 violations, 5 structrual in the house, and the place has b/w 13 and 15 people living there, each person paying ca 400/mo. (400x13=5200) the landlord is claiming broke, and telling us that we will be evicted, how can he be broke at 5k a month)

after dinner, dominons (EGGNOG!:)!), spadina to dundas west to deliver glenys home, to gladstone and buying pat a beer, to galaxy donuts and there amazing double toasted cocanut (sp) to dufferin to the 29 home--where the door was off the bathroom and the place was lit like a vegas wedding chapel.

christine thinks im rich, btw.


glenys and i hung out, we looked at homoerotic art (the gay body at hart house...brillant, amazing, revelatory, hard on inducing, adam fisting god, celestial, naughty, low and dark...see it now!!!!)

then tried to find xrista, no luck, went to crux and looked at discount theology books at crux (the actual name, a tiny little tucked away place)

dinner @ mt everest a nice nepalese place on bloor st west, in the annex

i feel vapid and vain next to glenys, w. my love of finery and my dislike of jesus.

pat and i are talking again, i think that we are in s ome kind of post verbal settling...hes looking over my shoulder.

dinner at pastis tomorrow, maybe.

(pat is so fuckable in his new haircut, all the ladies love him, now he is making obscene gestues @ me w. his modified phallus)

Thursday, November 25, 2004

alright... the head of fuller university, the largest evangelical protestant seminary in the united states (and the oldest and the most influential) has spoken in the tabernacle in slat lake, begging for forgiveness, because of the sins (lying, poaching) that the evangelicals have committed against the lds.

links:

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/156/story_15656.html
http://www.standingtogether.org/
http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,595105580,00.html

(i would argue that the this is the triumph of politics over theology, and that b/c of a variety of details, the morg are not xians--esp. the corperality of god (which is really weird and fucked up), and the refutiation of the trinity)

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

today

i went into the anglican cathedral of st james--the biggest one in to, just for some quiet time, and there was some amazing organ playing, and i sat and listened for a good hour--w/o him noticing mePinkMoosePearl: and then i walked out, to get to my next interview, and i saw a huge stained glass window near the back, commerating george the 6th cornation (sp), and the glories of empire

i dont think i got the caban job, assumed too much
more resumes, more interviews.

(take note that st james is on the corner of king and church)
I have “basketbrawl” issues for precisely that reason, and I’m relieved to see someone else voicing it. Admittedly: in the end I just have a leftover childish conviction that sports fans are very often dicks, and some small part of me enjoys seeing the worst ones get punched. But this whole thing exposes the wrongness of a crowd paying black men to perform a spectacle and then treating them with all the respect offered to animals, from the first things thrown to the gleeful dumping of beer over Artest’s head as he was led off. Really: if someone came into David Stern’s office and threw shit at him while he was working, the reactions and results would play quite differently. And the sight of at least one fan happily stepping out onto the court and taunting a player—visibly asking for a fight, clearly wanting it—is a lot more disgusting to me than the idea that a person having shit thrown at him might possibly take off after the folks doing the throwing.
All this is above and beyond, of course, the normal caveat that no, nobody should hit anybody, blah blah blah, players get paid to work under pressure and should control themselves, blah blah blah, but still. More moral outrage is being directed toward players (who basically gave certain fans what they were looking for) than toward a big brewing bag-of-dicks of fans and people who are meant to be controlling them.

nitsuh on ilx today, wrt to the detroit pistons...still the best news footage of the year.

Monday, November 22, 2004

good news, thanks be to god. (how ironic am i using this.)

  • coffee and derive w. dave morris, who is funny and sexy and brilliant and wise (also straight, v. v. straight, and rather shy) he had this amazing story about charlie mingus offering edward wilson rough anal; and wilson saying no.
  • interview for seminary at emmanuel college
  • interview for work, wed. at cabana. (please let me have this, i want this)
  • uk educational option in june and july of this year, if it all works out.
  • drs appointment for the fall down and go boom, in the new year, a week after my bday
  • some time with colleen, we felt comfortable, and she walked w. me round the islands, claiming it was like a bergman movie, and it reminded me of the west coast, the slick sad greyness of the waters...we also did the distillery district, and front street.
  • making much progress on the book.

half an hour fall down at no frills, and when i woke up 10 people were watching me, cops, secuirty gaurds, etc

find it funny.

The 500 word book proposal (first draft)


The book that I want to write is about America and Jesus. I know that this book has been written a million times in a million ways—as history, sociology, theology, theory, propaganda, and erotica. It has been written as poetry, non fiction and fiction, it has been written from the beginning of America, and it will be written at the end of America. It is written because there seems to be a common idea that religion is the microcosm of the American ideal, and to understand it is to understand all of her complexities. Each writer has come with there own ideas, and there own solutions.
As a writer, although I do agree with the idea about Jesus being a metonymy for larger ideas of America; I do not believe that there is a solution to American Jesus, because I do not Him as a problem to be solved. It is a matrix threaded with half a millennia of history, a matrix so thin and gnarled that to pull one string means the whole web hums. Then, there needs to be a new way of writing about this matrix—away from the old narratologies and the dead hermeneutics—resurrect it like Ezekiel’s old bones (the ones reflected in the African American Spiritual dry bones—the knee bone is connected to the thigh bone and Thomas Merton is connected to James Dobson.)
Continuing with the other connections between Merton, Dobson and the African American Spirituals, I want this to be a book that works through the common and the found. I want this to be a book about how 300 million Americans think, and not the current trend at Harvard Divinity School is. I want to treat those who are usually held in contempt, with an intellectual rigor. To examine, is not nessciarly to judge, and if judging takes place, it must be in the spirit of inquiry.
To reflect this means there is a need to make the text closer to the matrices of American faith, finding a form that allows gaps and spaces have equal space to everything else. I think that the best way of showing this is a dictionary—a great American form, and one that allows for easy complexities. Not a dictionary in the traditional sense, because it is impossible for something so empirical to be reflected in the dry authority of Noah Webster—think of it then as more like The Devil’s Dictionary—witty, sharp, ready to reflect conflict.
But in opposition to Bierce’s angry and conviction about everything, I do not want to be an authority, I want to be an entry into discourse. I want people who are low key, liberal, mainline protestants to go to Baptist Mega-Churches, I want the loud dancing and glossilalia of the Assemblies of God to hear the quietness of qauker meeting hours. I want, in this age of god being used as a cynical pawn of the powers-that-be and hated by those who think they know, a large and wide ranging, amusing, and trenchant invitation to the nature of American Vernacular Christianity.

(pages next)
More Books to Read
The Politics of American Religious Identity Kathleen Flake (unfortunate name)
Mormon America: The Power and the Promise by Richard Ostling
End-Time Visions: The Road to Armageddon--Abanes (avoid his lds book, standard right wing xian hack and slash)
Religion in America (4th Edition)by Julia Corbett Hemeyer, Julia Mitchell Corbett
Religion and American Culture: A Readerby David Hackett

Also, for you Raymond:
http://www.ldsromances.com/?tid=122
http://www.justpillows.com/product_info.php?products_id=2490
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1590382404/qid=1101109740/sr=8-3/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i3_xgl14/104-0380757-2419102?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Saturday, November 20, 2004

http://www.gschindler.com/2004_05_01_x.htm
"The advanced societies of the future will not be governed by reason. They will be driven by irrationality, by competing systems of psychopathology."
jg ballard
a small jesus poem and an erotic ode to a canadian tv icon.
(nothing but the best)


for two months of weekday afternoons
I walk to the corner of bloor and ossington

Into st anthonys, up to the altar;
stare at the corpus, eye to eye,

hoping for once he’ll answer

(as I stare neighborhood grandmothers, from old Europe,
look at me askance, as they kneel, crawling the stations.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


6:30 in the morning, Seamus O Reagan is hosting Canada AM
& I watch him on a 70s era black and white philco just before I go to bed.

I’m in love w. mr o Reagan, he has a clear, concise face—
Safe, banal and made for television.

Its not the face that gets me, it’s the furtive gestures, i'm truly in lust w., the
Ones he makes despite the suit jacket and tie (or maybe because of)

(for example, when he pretends to be superman on Halloween—
not actually superman, just hands on his hips--or once he accidently rolls his sleeve up
thinking the pretty girl would take his hear rate—when she didn’t.)

sometimes when i’m sleep deprived my heart does its own special revalieres

he’s the librarian bending over for books, that I see everyday at bloor gladstone
he’s the severe Jesuit in a gabardine cassock who scratches his his nose when I take host at st micheals.
hes the dozen men in the bathroom at the yonge subway station
hes the waiter at the end of a long shift, im ordering coffee and desert and hes ready to go home
he works at my local internet café, and gives me an extra hour for ½ price
he sells me a sasuage when im coming out of a late movie at the paramount, in the entertainment district.

that’s it
seamus o reagon is my own personal entertainment district
(me and every middle aged stay at home mother, from esqamailt to gander)

Friday, November 19, 2004

To Read
Junichiro Tanizaki's "In Praise of Shadows
Isabelle Carruthers
McDiarmid
Louis McNeice
Robert Nozick's Anarchy, State, and Utopia
said's culture and imperialism
hannah arendt's eichmann
Sanders, Brown, Koester, Ehrman, Crossan
Behan
O Brian

Mis nonsense.
When an editor at The New Yorker said ten lines needed to be cut from a story that used the word "butter" 132 times, Barthelme replied that "the word butter must appear 132 times, you can cut out any other butter after that." The story, "Eugénie Grandet," was collected in Sixty Stories, Barthelme's own selection of his best. Looking at it today, it's hard to see how the paragraph consisting entirely of the word "butter" repeated 86 times makes much difference at all.
An ilx thread—no memory of which one

"It might be fun today to dress up like a little girl -- kids think it's cute and things like that. And you start playing around with it and, like drugs, you do a little here and there (and) eventually it gets you," Davies told reporters. AP
concerning turning drag day to camo day in a Houston area high school

http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/2004/11/18/arts/MOMA.583,0.jpg
the new moma--
see how the Pollock is distanced from the krasner, the gap between the two of them (the mental and physical and aesthetic gap) is bridged by the newman….clever and beautiful.
(it’s a great krasner and an even better newman) (almost worth the 20 bucks)

http://artgallery.yale.edu/images/landing/yaleartgallery_015.jpg
(reminding me of the 100 african masks on a wall of mdf particle board in an African store called Ashanti, on bloor street west, in the back were dozens of colourful kente cloths, none of the the commercial (as in popish, full of images of mass produced goods) that I have been looking for (seen in pictures of Zimbabwe)


An Austrian artist, Muhammad Muller, has begun a long-term cultural project - digging a 42-mile tunnel. He estimates it will take two people with shovels about 5,600 years.AP

http://blog.ivanpope.com/photos/uncategorized/dsc02312.JPG
whitechapel, the place in question is across the street from jack the ripper pub.
That is all.
Via http://blog.ivanpope.com/

Daily show, had a joke about hilary saying her husbands presidential library is v. similar to her husband, and steward added, leans somewhat to the left, a rather good double entendre, matching Clintons sex and politics in an efficient and lowkey way, and then he said, yep I just made a dick joke (his exact words)—so a good tension was ruined in crudity

when I was at sjsa, I always told my parents they should have sent aj to notre dame, all I knew about it was that it featured a large, convent run boarding school in the remoteset of sask. Prarie, and that would make it sweet revenge, catholics I imagined being much much harsher then Anglicans…I didn’t know that they had some of the more amazing, earliest and best illustrated rare books in Canada…
http://www.walrusmagazine.com/article.pl?sid=04/11/03/2043209
To Read
Junichiro Tanizaki's "In Praise of Shadows
Isabelle Carruthers
McDiarmid
Louis McNeice
Robert Nozick's Anarchy, State, and Utopia
said's culture and imperialism
hannah arendt's eichmann
Sanders, Brown, Koester, Ehrman, Crossan
Behan
O Brian

Mis nonsense.
When an editor at The New Yorker said ten lines needed to be cut from a story that used the word "butter" 132 times, Barthelme replied that "the word butter must appear 132 times, you can cut out any other butter after that." The story, "Eugénie Grandet," was collected in Sixty Stories, Barthelme's own selection of his best. Looking at it today, it's hard to see how the paragraph consisting entirely of the word "butter" repeated 86 times makes much difference at all.
An ilx thread—no memory of which one

"It might be fun today to dress up like a little girl -- kids think it's cute and things like that. And you start playing around with it and, like drugs, you do a little here and there (and) eventually it gets you," Davies told reporters. AP
concerning turning drag day to camo day in a Houston area high school

http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/2004/11/18/arts/MOMA.583,0.jpg
the new moma--
see how the Pollock is distanced from the krasner, the gap between the two of them (the mental and physical and aesthetic gap) is bridged by the newman….clever and beautiful.
(it’s a great krasner and an even better newman) (almost worth the 20 bucks)

http://artgallery.yale.edu/images/landing/yaleartgallery_015.jpg
(reminding me of the 100 african masks on a wall of mdf particle board in an African store called Ashanti, on bloor street west, in the back were dozens of colourful kente cloths, none of the the commercial (as in popish, full of images of mass produced goods) that I have been looking for (seen in pictures of Zimbabwe)


An Austrian artist, Muhammad Muller, has begun a long-term cultural project - digging a 42-mile tunnel. He estimates it will take two people with shovels about 5,600 years.AP

http://blog.ivanpope.com/photos/uncategorized/dsc02312.JPG
whitechapel, the place in question is across the street from jack the ripper pub.
That is all.
Via http://blog.ivanpope.com/

Daily show, had a joke about hilary saying her husbands presidential library is v. similar to her husband, and steward added, leans somewhat to the left, a rather good double entendre, matching Clintons sex and politics in an efficient and lowkey way, and then he said, yep I just made a dick joke (his exact words)—so a good tension was ruined in crudity

when I was at sjsa, I always told my parents they should have sent aj to notre dame, all I knew about it was that it featured a large, convent run boarding school in the remoteset of sask. Prarie, and that would make it sweet revenge, catholics I imagined being much much harsher then Anglicans…I didn’t know that they had some of the more amazing, earliest and best illustrated rare books in Canada…
http://www.walrusmagazine.com/article.pl?sid=04/11/03/2043209

Thursday, November 18, 2004

ON CERTAIN WITS
who amused themselves over the simplicity ofBarnett Newman's paintings shown at BenningtonCollege in May of 1958

When Moses in Horeb struck the rock,
And water came forth out of the rock,
Some of the people were annoyed with Moses
And said he should have used a fancier stick.

And when Elijah on Mount Carmel brought the rain,
Where the prophets of Baal could not bring rain,
Some of the people said that the rituals of the prophets of Baal
Were aesthetically significant, while Elijah's were very plain.
--Howard Nemerov

via modern kicks
andrew has been quoting wendell berry over on his blog, so i have a story in response.

when i was in kentucky, and i had decided i just wanted to go home, i spent the last few days in silence--fasting and praying.

one of those days, i meditated on berry, read him and thot about him--it was may, in a place an hour and one half from the nearest town, on a comfortable chair, underneath a wide green sycamore. it was a place of quietness, with rolling green lawns, and tall stone fences.

and while reading him--and thinking about him, and hungry because i was fasting, i kept being interupted by the pickup trucks coming from bardstown to ohio, as there was a two lane blacktop just outside that wall.

and that exact day, i went to father luke, and i said i wanted to go home--that i didnt belive in god, and i took the high way, past the distelleries, the go go bars, the churches in double wides and log cabins, the thousands of cars and thousands of people, because the road from bardstown to louisville is a major interstate...and i felt peace.

we do not need god in private spaces, god is easy to find there.
we need god in public spaces, (the loud, noisy, dirt)

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

some artists to look at more

anna yuschuk "stills" lonely, romantic images of seas and still lives, done in a painterly recreation of found and semi found digital fotos

brian burke weirdly phrased portraits of men and women in obv. distress

Howard Jasper--Canadian Folk CArver, mostly known for uncanny and haunting birds, his storks and herrings look like ibis and his crows look like death.

Hugh Martin--Swiss fotog, the absorbtion of natural matter over manmade, and the aesthetics of decay--but swiss so clean and pretty (brilliantly composed, and good sense of graditation of colour, not sure if i really like him (hes at the gallery at yorkville, you guys know it, the one w. the big farfard cow in the front, and an series of wonderfully coloured abex drawings)

Jack Bush's Early Canvases look like every Canadian Painter ca 12-20.

some openings, lectures, etc
design tonite, at ocads main hall

something wed. which i have forgotten. (meomry dont fail me now)

rachel's and lynn cohen lecture thurs. (you will want to see the lynn cohen--raymond, she does these great c prints or empty and venucalur spaces) (maybe kinsey though, if i win tickets)




and a good modern art blog (contemparary, etc)
http://modernkicks.typepad.com/modern_kicks/
badger minor is a minor god (the south on the link list)

http://fallujapictures.blogspot.com/
links to ap fotos/copies of fotos that havent found print

also when morrison writes jla there apparently is a cannibalistic gorrila garood (sp) in the offing (does he eat other super intelligent mass apes ?)--i need to ammend the ape essay, btw
some random newsing:

  • i bet ray 5 bux that gonzales wouldnt make it thru.
  • two videos on my screen right now: anna nicole smith drunk at the ama and a handsome marine shooting a wounded iraqi in the head (reminding me of the vietnam foto that hawks have apologized for, because of the question of uniforms, cant wait for the spin.) they shot him in a motherfucking mosque breaking two ancient rules of engagement
  • fox news and the washington post are putting even money on condi as powells replacement. (talk left, for the video and the condi news)
  • kansas has voted down a .0038 per cent increase in property taxes to pay for arts funding. (taxes are user fees for services)
  • apparently one of the reasons why daschle lost was because of prarie dog control (he apparently wasnt hard enough)
  • the us border control is using biometrics for the first time
  • talking more and more lds theology w. pat, and i realise how little i know and how much i forget
  • big episode tonite, (4 today--one where i bashed my head in a pyschoanalytic bookstore, bashed it until it bled) one that lasted almost two hours and had 21 parts, had to go home in a cab
  • lost the house, to sue shep will cost 50k
  • going to emmanuel college, if god is willing (me as a seminarian, discuss)
  • (i am doing a series of brief vingettes on art irl on brown wedge, sol lewitts underwear is next)
  • happier ?

the main and purpose only main difference b/w sex positive queer radicals and sex negitaive conserative xian reactionaries is how they conceptualize the function of mutalibity. (yes i will explain this)


Monday, November 15, 2004

: job-47003639@craigslist.org
ic@lush.com
: deborahe@intergate.ca
Christian at 543 Yonge Street
Reply to: hr@sunriserecords.com
American Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham, Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman, and Education Secretary Rod Paige and Colin Powell have all resigned today. Which brings the total up to 6, with 2 more being in the wings

Sunday, November 14, 2004

alright, here are some things:

  • found a brilliant house two blocks from my place, open plan, edwardian brownstone, w. 4 bedrooms and 2 baths, trying to find people to come and look at it, on wednesday--email me with all the info needed.
  • lunch w. luis, i think that it turned out okay, but im never sure.
  • keep trying to balance bills, to juggle, not going well
  • handed out 20 resumes in the last two days, mostly to retail establishments on qsw and the annex (including a place that only sell sox and underwear, note irony) (also a travel agent and some other of that nonesense)
  • the cermaics gallery near ocad wouldnt give me any supporting material on one of the artists b/c i didnt look like a buyer, the greener pastures gallery sent me this email:....Nice to make your acquaintance while you were at the gallery.

    Attached are jpgs of Elizabeth's two most recent paintings. Each are approx. 78 x 96 inches. Both works are 2004 and are still available.
    so answer me this--do i look like a buyer or not ? (i should find a way to post those Elizabeth McIntosh paintings, they are amazing)
  • Working on an article about queer discourse in the ex-gay, born again virgin markets, and also the book (agent wants pages the first, aargh) --am making progress, and i have to remember how young i am.
  • met wendy dennis at parkdale library, she gave me some leads, b/c i paid her fines (wendy dennis writes about culture and politics for a bunch of famous canadian rags)
  • my erotic obsession with seamus o reagon goes unabated, this time leading me to write a long o haraesque (sp) ode to his ordinaryness
  • i have been exchanging emails with a gentleman called ruggerbugger69. ("special emails")
  • richard estes, if i like him does that continue to prove that my tastes in art have gone retrograde.
  • i am so fucking horny--all i want is a rub and a tug, and i am going to have to start cruising soon (i would go to the tubs, but i dont have the 25 bux--which reminds me, st marks is hiring)
  • speaking of saints, the woman who i was subbing for at st clares has come back from vacation so no more lectionary.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

i dont think that i am xian anymore. but i do think that i follow christ.
(koan for the day)

i think that i am a hypocrite, but then i think everyone is a hypocrite--and i think that by harshly destroying peoples beliefs, is not paying attention to your own. (one of anthonys rules of living--clean up the shit in yr own backyard before you clean up the shit in other peoples.)

i appreciate the love of christ and christians, but some times its used to stymie debate, to push a homogeonzing, non thinking agenda, to refuse anger and the exhaust dissent.

sometimes its a passive agressive attempt at destruction.

sometimes its love.
(i thot a couple of days ago, that i was glad that i wasnt a xian anymore, b/c it allowed me to hate(if you are reading this thomas, its not you i hate)---not a nice thot, but nothing really allows me to hate--pomo thinks hate isnt fluid enough, pacifism denies its violence, xianity denies it period.)

another thot about pomo--i rose the question of evil to pat the other night, walking past the warm red brick sfds of marlee street--if one is a moral realtivist (which i am, which is why i made such a shitty catholic) and if one believes in give and take, push and pull, then how can one label things evil--how does a postmodernist define evil (how does a postmodernist define good)

when does moral realtivism end.
(i told drew that you can be good w/o god, and that evil was refusing to help humanity, to violate the essential diginity of men and women (and others)--i wonder if i believe this or if this is the easy answer.

hungry w/o work
god helps those who help themselves.
(am i still a theist--its monday, then yes.)
(have i always been an agnostic--the idea of a universal larger power making it easier to hide the essential swamp of theology--thinking of brerer(sp) rabbit who knew is way thru the thicket patch and brer bear who kept getting stuck but kept going in. (do i have the right names ?)

god alone--
not as in there is only one god, and god is the only god
not lord king of the omnis
but a sam peckinpah god,
a gunslinger, a lone wolf.

god as james dean in rebel w/o a cause.

here, order this for me for xmas.
http://www.jonessoda.com/files/turkey04.html
or this:
http://www.gethsemanifarms.org/fruitcake.asp
http://www.gethsemanifarms.org/fudge.asp
http://www.gethsemanifarms.org/cheese.asp

Friday, November 05, 2004

i think that i might have a job at a custom glass shop, which is much better then wal mart. the cheque i was expecting today hasnt come, but sometimes the mail is late.


Thursday, November 04, 2004

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3974179.stm

in holland, theo van gogh has been murdered for making a documentary about abused islamic female immigrants.



Tuesday, November 02, 2004

parkdale/qsw gallery haunt.
(mostly aborted, as the runs are wed to sat.)

things i saw:
magic pony--japanese and american indie toys and stuff (you knows kaws, ugly dolls, etc)--the guy who does the beguilings mini comics had some awesome wolf stickers, and there were clever, sweet and inexpesive drawings and mixed media peices by hutsul, leighton, manale, and wilson (i forgot my motherfucking notebook, so im going to have trouble figuring out who did what) but the show is really worth seeing !

brad phillips post card is boring and porny, but his show is at greener pastures and is called silver springs--arcadian poetics mean that im going to the opening (the 12th, 7-10)

melissa levin does things w. puzzles, opening at the 19th at zsa zsa

laura letinsky is at the always brilliant, and always kind stephen bulger (today they let me go behind the velvet rope, they talked to me for almost an hour about a english bresson, whose name i have forgotten--but he had this foto of two london school boys looking at a stripshow sign that was qauint and happy and wonderful, and tiny (also b&w--and no real creepy voyuerism either); we also saw queer, hiv+, indian, sunil gupta, who does this dirty (not sexual, as in full of dirt) diptychs one foto of i ndia and one foto of north america, that are rally sad and intimate and almost alone, or fully alone (w/o people)...anyways lettinsky is on the 6th, v. v. early 2-5 (but its a sat.)

at ryerson is stuart macmillion doing a canlit version of decay in an urban center, well composed w. a solid colour sense, opening on the fourth--going to help a kid out. (good qoute on the invite--"i would like my pictures to look as if a human being had passed between them, like a snail, leaving a trace of the human presence and memory of the past events as the snail leaves its slime"--francis bacon (which should have been on the front of the invite card, as a sort of bait and switch thing)

strip show, based around the theme of naughty girls of hollywood, performed by the scandelles at buddies at bad times, also on the 6th, tickets are 15 bux, which means im not going--the card desccribes itself as "striptease, performance, modern dance, live music and 0riginal film"

also some art on the walls--near the office space at edward day were two fotos by akari of the fruit, japanese st fashion show--which showed me that he was more of an athropologist, he was basically an artist and a brilliant photog---prelude to a show in dec, artist in attendence. in additon, above the akari, was a tiny tiny (like the size of my palm), v. dark, portrait of a swarthy man in a lovely pink suit--sort of dangerous, v. sexy---a good indication of the rise of well painted unironic, figuritive(sp), painting--d i have a catalog, you should look at this guy. ---guys name is daniel hughes

(looking at the buttons at macfab, just looking, a middle aged, upper c lass english woman was holding a swatch of baby blue and gold lame ball fabric from the 50s, for a custom made jacket, with a matching chiffon skirt--she called it hideous, but it wasnt, it was sumptous and goregous, and i spent 15 minutes enraptured, suggesting buttons and looking for the perfect pair, eventually yalking her into a set of mother of pearl sqaures...she asked if i was a designer, and said you could tell if someone was an e xpert by how close they looked phyiscally, i didnt have the heart to tell her that im just a near sighted derlict. )

kerry will lose tonite.



Monday, November 01, 2004

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/31/magazine/31FAITH.html

for those w/o a subscription, realvent qoutes below:

And so it remains. Chuck Ripka is a moneylender -- that is to say, a mortgage banker -- and his institution, the Riverview Community Bank in Otsego, Minn., is a way station for Christ. When he's not approving mortgages, or rather especially when he is, Ripka lays his hands on customers and colleagues, bows his head and prays: ''Lord, I pray that you will bring Matt and Jaimie the best buyer for their house so that they have the money to purchase the new home they feel called to. And I pray, Lord, that you grant me the wisdom to give them the best advice to meet their financial needs.''

The bank opened 18 months ago as a ''Christian financial institution,'' with a Bible buried in the foundation and the words ''In God We Trust'' engraved in the cornerstone. In that time, deposits have jumped from $5 million to more than $75 millio

Chuck Ripka says he sometimes slips and says to people, ''Come on over to the church -- I mean the bank.''

George Gallup Jr. is an evangelical Christian who has called his work ''a kind of ministry''

One tenet listed in the Riverview Community Bank's first annual report is to ''use the bank's Christian principles to expand Christianity.'' If that wasn't clear enough, Ripka put it in even starker terms for me: ''We use the bank as a front to do full-time ministry.'' Ken Beaudry, a marketplace pastor whose heating-oil company is just down the road from the Riverview bank, takes the same view. ''It's all about understanding that your business has a cause,'' he says. ''It's about recognizing that we exist as a company not just to make profits, but to change society. And our employees are on board with that.''

He says he has performed more than 60 faith healings in the bank and has ''saved'' another 60 people on bank premises

He worked odd jobs after high school and was born again when he was 21, during an Amway meeting.

Praying with customers is one thing Riverview has become known for. Gloria Oshima, a teller, was hired because of her previous experience at the nearby First National Bank of Elk River, but her faith, which she describes as ''bold,'' was also apparent in the job interview. ''When Gloria came applying for a job, I had a vision of her praying with customers,'' Ripka says. Referring to the bank's drive-up window, Oshima says: ''The Holy Spirit speaks to me when certain people drive up. A young lady pulled up one day. I looked at her, and she had tears in her eyes. I said: 'Are you O.K.? Would you mind if I prayed for you?' She said O.K. I said, 'Inside the bank, or right here?' She said, 'This is fine here.' So we prayed. I asked the Lord to remove the hurts within her and bless her day. She came again later, into the lobby this time, and she said, 'I'm doing so good, and I just wanted to thank you for your prayer

When I asked Ripka if a Jew or Muslim had ever applied for a job at the bank, his choice of language was a bit odd: ''We don't really have that in our community at this point.''

At Intel, the Muslim, Jewish and Christian groups , receive the same resources as the Parents Group and the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Group.

and to google
''God@Work,'' ''Believers in Business'' and ''Loving Monday.''


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i am a sixteen foot sasquatch.