i am at sundars. he waves--tonite about 4 am i am getting on a plane to edmonton, which makes me deeply sad...like ive failed, like im going home with a tail between my legs--but ive been really depressed and really crazy and im homeless and jobless...
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Thursday, January 27, 2005
http://www.poems.com/essaorr.htm
david orr talks in the new poetry about the diction of disgust and the syntax of offense, a structual argument in how we determine our feelings irt people like pound, larkin and sexton--and also why larkin is a much better poet, a much more likable poet then people give him credit for...
alot of it is old hat (what more can be said about larkins racism, his misogyny, his banal taste for lesbian school girls) but by concentrating on effect of acual langauge on audience, it might be worth something.
also sexton apparently sexually abused her child, anyone know anything more about this?
david orr talks in the new poetry about the diction of disgust and the syntax of offense, a structual argument in how we determine our feelings irt people like pound, larkin and sexton--and also why larkin is a much better poet, a much more likable poet then people give him credit for...
alot of it is old hat (what more can be said about larkins racism, his misogyny, his banal taste for lesbian school girls) but by concentrating on effect of acual langauge on audience, it might be worth something.
also sexton apparently sexually abused her child, anyone know anything more about this?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1458447,00.html
a reinvention of the 19th century ideal of masculine xianity hs seemed to be cropping up lately, the above book, and a difficult and riveting crisis of faith story in this months gq being the most recent examples. (the above link is worth reading, as the qoutes are rather juicy--an apologetics for violence, for one)
landlords are either a) crazy or b)pyschopaths or c)liars (when you say 250 mean 250, not 300 and not 320; dont bitch about the disabled when you are at the table w. me;show up to the appoinments you re supposed to go to...)
still homeless, stayed with d, then colleen and have no idea where i am tonite--some leads im chasing down high park looks the most promising.
a reinvention of the 19th century ideal of masculine xianity hs seemed to be cropping up lately, the above book, and a difficult and riveting crisis of faith story in this months gq being the most recent examples. (the above link is worth reading, as the qoutes are rather juicy--an apologetics for violence, for one)
landlords are either a) crazy or b)pyschopaths or c)liars (when you say 250 mean 250, not 300 and not 320; dont bitch about the disabled when you are at the table w. me;show up to the appoinments you re supposed to go to...)
still homeless, stayed with d, then colleen and have no idea where i am tonite--some leads im chasing down high park looks the most promising.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Now a warning! I am hesitant to even mention it, for it is not pleasant. It must be labeled as major transgression. But I will speak plainly. There are some circumstances in which young men may be tempted to handle one another, to have contact with one another physically in unusual ways. Latter-day Saint young men are not to do this.Sometimes this begins in a moment of idle foolishness, when boys are just playing around. But it is not foolishness. It is remarkably dangerous. Such practices, however tempting, are perversion. When a young man is finding his way into manhood, such experiences can misdirect his normal desires and pervert him not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.It was intended that we use this power only with our partner in marriage. I repeat, very plainly, physical mischief with another man is forbidden. It is forbidden by the Lord.There are some men who entice young meant to join them in these immoral acts. If you are ever approached to participate in anything like that, it is time to vigorously resist.While I was in a mission on one occasion, a missionary said he had something to confess. I was very worried because he just could not get himself to tell me what he had done.After patient encouragement he finally blurted out, “I hit my companion.”“Oh, is that all,” I said in great relief.“But I floored him,” he said.After learning a little more, my response was “Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn’t be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way”I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself.
boyd k packer
life is chaos, black dog back, more info maybe sooner.
boyd k packer
life is chaos, black dog back, more info maybe sooner.
Friday, January 21, 2005
also saw hell house last night, a doc on the houses created by evangelical xians in dallas to broadcast a v. narrow view of christianity, it included such wonders as 6 seconds to be saved; award cermonies for best rapist, a woman who took ru 486 and had her cunt bleed buckets of blood, a fag who died of aids, and went to hell b/c of his "homosexual lifestyle choices" and other such nonesense, but also managed to document the people behind this, talk about it as legitmate theater, talk about the catharsis and biographical sadness that makes this kind of thing nessc. ... a movie that went beyond mockery and into a surreal feeling for and because of the members, worth seeing.
alright
two more books
chromophobia, which i have read before, and which will result in a longish essay that will be typed when energy comes to me.
anne truitts memoirs, which made me realize that i care way too much about how other people live, but also which had some really poigant, well constructed, elegies towards a life not lived, adn also some joy in an age not constructed. (so 14&1/2)
ocap gave me all sorts of neat paper work, and housing listings and all sorts of other stuff so i have a chance to get ohip, have a house etc...halleujah (sidenote: i wonder if the real good work of ocap is the letters, the telephone calls, the networking, the guiding of people to resources, the talking to beurocrats, the small nonesenses, the virgil roles as opposed to the sqautting and the riots--or can you have one w/o the other--shock troops and agit props providing media coverage so the real work can be done (coverage as both a distraction and as a notice that there are things being done, and there is anger still to be had) (also what the fuck is it w. all the sympathy, all of the desire to return to a marxist/lennist/etc womb--how can anyone use the word bolshevism w/o irony--ocap seems to be w/o irony, with an explicit earnestness that i cannot seem to abide)
michael powell has resigned from the fcc and his replacement seems to hate free speech more, can someone explain to me why socons and neocons have not understood that a free marketplace of ideas will make it much easier to get there shit in the hearts and minds of other people---its a cowards gambit...but thats what we have come to expect
speaking of cowards gambit, the protests at this years innaguration seem much angrier, much more isolated, with 2 recorded instances of flag burning, and signs that say things like fuck bush and bush:a motherfucker--no poetry, no wit just a raw jet of unfettered exhausted wrath---great fotos here: http://centricle.com/photos/2005/01/21/and here: http://www.bradblog.com/archives/00001138.htm
(note the fotos of the riot policehttp://centricle.com/photos/2005/01/21/t how they humanize, how they make police seem complicated in a way the left usually fails , DC voted kerry on a margin of 10:1 and the police come from the regions surrounding--so many of these police would share the sentiments of the protestors, but because of a need to feed families etc, are required to police direct actions---so when do DA become another example of privelege ? notice in the fotos that most of the kids seem to be young and white (college educated?)
speaking of that, talked to dave yesterday, about history, about narrative, about privelege, about jesus and god and catholics and the muck of sorting that others do and i cannot seem to be bothered, it was good ot see him, his realpolitik and his almost unideological desire for "truth" is deeply refreshing.
speaking of privelge--otto dix needed to paint this man:http://gfx.dagbladet.no/pub/artikkel/4/42/420/420915/bushny2.jpg
two more books
chromophobia, which i have read before, and which will result in a longish essay that will be typed when energy comes to me.
anne truitts memoirs, which made me realize that i care way too much about how other people live, but also which had some really poigant, well constructed, elegies towards a life not lived, adn also some joy in an age not constructed. (so 14&1/2)
ocap gave me all sorts of neat paper work, and housing listings and all sorts of other stuff so i have a chance to get ohip, have a house etc...halleujah (sidenote: i wonder if the real good work of ocap is the letters, the telephone calls, the networking, the guiding of people to resources, the talking to beurocrats, the small nonesenses, the virgil roles as opposed to the sqautting and the riots--or can you have one w/o the other--shock troops and agit props providing media coverage so the real work can be done (coverage as both a distraction and as a notice that there are things being done, and there is anger still to be had) (also what the fuck is it w. all the sympathy, all of the desire to return to a marxist/lennist/etc womb--how can anyone use the word bolshevism w/o irony--ocap seems to be w/o irony, with an explicit earnestness that i cannot seem to abide)
michael powell has resigned from the fcc and his replacement seems to hate free speech more, can someone explain to me why socons and neocons have not understood that a free marketplace of ideas will make it much easier to get there shit in the hearts and minds of other people---its a cowards gambit...but thats what we have come to expect
speaking of cowards gambit, the protests at this years innaguration seem much angrier, much more isolated, with 2 recorded instances of flag burning, and signs that say things like fuck bush and bush:a motherfucker--no poetry, no wit just a raw jet of unfettered exhausted wrath---great fotos here: http://centricle.com/photos/2005/01/21/and here: http://www.bradblog.com/archives/00001138.htm
(note the fotos of the riot policehttp://centricle.com/photos/2005/01/21/t how they humanize, how they make police seem complicated in a way the left usually fails , DC voted kerry on a margin of 10:1 and the police come from the regions surrounding--so many of these police would share the sentiments of the protestors, but because of a need to feed families etc, are required to police direct actions---so when do DA become another example of privelege ? notice in the fotos that most of the kids seem to be young and white (college educated?)
speaking of that, talked to dave yesterday, about history, about narrative, about privelege, about jesus and god and catholics and the muck of sorting that others do and i cannot seem to be bothered, it was good ot see him, his realpolitik and his almost unideological desire for "truth" is deeply refreshing.
speaking of privelge--otto dix needed to paint this man:http://gfx.dagbladet.no/pub/artikkel/4/42/420/420915/bushny2.jpg
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/01/18/RICEBOXER.DTL&type=printable
barbara boxer vs condi rice...havent read it all yet.
drs appt put me on another list, made me wait, made me do the same standard neurlogists tests, which i am always b ad (and also include the classic drunk driving test, which always suprises me, and basically tells the world i am not meant to drive, basically i am unable to walk toe to heel in a straight line, i am unable to walk anywhere period in a straight line regardless.)
8 months to get telemetry...
barbara boxer vs condi rice...havent read it all yet.
drs appt put me on another list, made me wait, made me do the same standard neurlogists tests, which i am always b ad (and also include the classic drunk driving test, which always suprises me, and basically tells the world i am not meant to drive, basically i am unable to walk toe to heel in a straight line, i am unable to walk anywhere period in a straight line regardless.)
8 months to get telemetry...
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
these 4 bring the years total to 13.
Anne Truitts last book of memoirs, which manage to be odd in there scope, obsessed with things like arctic exploration but also v. tender, discussions of her husbands sucidie abut memories of Clem Greenberg, academic politics work with the intricacies of displaying her work, sadness about work destroyed by others carelessness and by accident is placed, with out irony or even notice, next to descriptions of her destroying her metal sculpture made under unhappy conditions in japan and I notice things like how she destroyed almost everything done before 1962, which she considers the beginning of her mature work---and she also (romanticizes?) the nature of material, of wood and paint and the naturalness, which seems to make her work far apart from the other minimalists of her age…a haunting book. (also note, she made her living as a scholar, a teacher, an academic, an administrator, a writer, a critic, and on family inheritances and good luck, not as an artist). I look forward to reading the second volume.
A French study on the history of attitudes towards masturbation (Anne Van Nede and Jean Stegnets) starting from a book called Onania written by a quack attempting to sell remedies, and continuing through Troitt (sp—the writer and academic, first doctor od the enlightenment), and across the pond into England…not much on the Americans, but in its recordings of hygiene and terror, and finding an initial beginning of these things, it reminded me of A History of Shit, the classic text on these things—taught me stuff like clitordectomies were preformed in paris hospitals until the 1900s, and barbed rings that shred erect penile flesh were placed on boys as young as 6, until the 1920s….and had quotes like this one from st benedict “If while committing this sin, someone imagines himself with a married woman, it is a sin of adultery, if he desires a virgin, it is debauchery, if he desires a nun it is sacrilege”
Our Father, a chronology of the scandals in the church, esp. the paedophillia and queer priests, was too long, a mess of conflations, lack in its theology, filled with cheap scandal and boring reptetions of crimes that may have occurred and may not have…the story of celibacy and place has been told a million times, but this was obv. a newspaper quickie intended to be something longer and more deliberate…really a pass.
AS Byatt ‘s haunting book The Little Black Book, which had 4 or 5 small stories of such gruesome ordinarness, which managed to combine the fear of faries w. the fear of being lost, the fear of trolls with the fear of death and the fear of little things under the stairs with the the big things in my head—it should be taken as seriously, or more seriously then the dull domestic drudgery of someone like Munro—but because of her brilliance as a fabulist it will not be. (esp, brilliant are the first story and the fifth story, where two girls in the woods, on loan to the country from the city because of WWII;s blitz have there lives changed by seeing a dragon and the fifth where a woman slowly moves from lonely abandonment to joyus reclamation when her body becomes stone, when the troll self reclaims its prize.
Anne Truitts last book of memoirs, which manage to be odd in there scope, obsessed with things like arctic exploration but also v. tender, discussions of her husbands sucidie abut memories of Clem Greenberg, academic politics work with the intricacies of displaying her work, sadness about work destroyed by others carelessness and by accident is placed, with out irony or even notice, next to descriptions of her destroying her metal sculpture made under unhappy conditions in japan and I notice things like how she destroyed almost everything done before 1962, which she considers the beginning of her mature work---and she also (romanticizes?) the nature of material, of wood and paint and the naturalness, which seems to make her work far apart from the other minimalists of her age…a haunting book. (also note, she made her living as a scholar, a teacher, an academic, an administrator, a writer, a critic, and on family inheritances and good luck, not as an artist). I look forward to reading the second volume.
A French study on the history of attitudes towards masturbation (Anne Van Nede and Jean Stegnets) starting from a book called Onania written by a quack attempting to sell remedies, and continuing through Troitt (sp—the writer and academic, first doctor od the enlightenment), and across the pond into England…not much on the Americans, but in its recordings of hygiene and terror, and finding an initial beginning of these things, it reminded me of A History of Shit, the classic text on these things—taught me stuff like clitordectomies were preformed in paris hospitals until the 1900s, and barbed rings that shred erect penile flesh were placed on boys as young as 6, until the 1920s….and had quotes like this one from st benedict “If while committing this sin, someone imagines himself with a married woman, it is a sin of adultery, if he desires a virgin, it is debauchery, if he desires a nun it is sacrilege”
Our Father, a chronology of the scandals in the church, esp. the paedophillia and queer priests, was too long, a mess of conflations, lack in its theology, filled with cheap scandal and boring reptetions of crimes that may have occurred and may not have…the story of celibacy and place has been told a million times, but this was obv. a newspaper quickie intended to be something longer and more deliberate…really a pass.
AS Byatt ‘s haunting book The Little Black Book, which had 4 or 5 small stories of such gruesome ordinarness, which managed to combine the fear of faries w. the fear of being lost, the fear of trolls with the fear of death and the fear of little things under the stairs with the the big things in my head—it should be taken as seriously, or more seriously then the dull domestic drudgery of someone like Munro—but because of her brilliance as a fabulist it will not be. (esp, brilliant are the first story and the fifth story, where two girls in the woods, on loan to the country from the city because of WWII;s blitz have there lives changed by seeing a dragon and the fifth where a woman slowly moves from lonely abandonment to joyus reclamation when her body becomes stone, when the troll self reclaims its prize.
Monday, January 17, 2005
alright long day
7 places, two which seemed slightly suitable (ruled out by location, if nothing settles in the next few days its those places)
then say a play with the boys (take me out) which made me wonder why is most of the work being done on the nature of masculinty mostly done by queer men ? do straight men do not think this work is worthwhile (the show is not a cheap coming out comedy, and although has some problems transitoing between acts, is a wise and funny work and worth seeing)
7 places, two which seemed slightly suitable (ruled out by location, if nothing settles in the next few days its those places)
then say a play with the boys (take me out) which made me wonder why is most of the work being done on the nature of masculinty mostly done by queer men ? do straight men do not think this work is worthwhile (the show is not a cheap coming out comedy, and although has some problems transitoing between acts, is a wise and funny work and worth seeing)
Sunday, January 16, 2005
I found the mark of the world on the most hallowed modernist corpus. For the
white quadrilaterals in Mondrian are cracked all over, and far from pure white.
His paint layers age, and they get dirty. But in their very distance from
hygienic white they are the emblems of what it means to be white in the
world....In Meyer Schapiro's paradoxical formulation, realism itself re-created
the world by a "series of abstract calculations of perspective and gradations of
color." Ryman's paintings are asking the opposite: they are suggesting we
collapse abstraction back into the rest of painting. Abstraction, it appears,
was never anything more than a refinement or a mannered distortion of the
components of painted art, totally consistent with the previous history of
painting, and capable of very many of its effects....
Like Alberti, Ryman
sooner or later reveals his true colors. He has said in interviews that his work
is supposed to yield sensations of "well being and rightness," or an experience
of "enlightenment."(7) These are esthetic criteria, rooted no doubt in simple
empathetic responses, but they carry powerful ethical and spiritual
connotations. So much for "paint is paint."
--Christopher S. Wood, "Ryman's
Poetics," Art in America 82:1 (Jan. 1994), pp. 62ff.
from a brilliant art and culture site called mark making (link: )http://markmaking.typepad.com/ (and one of the best semi non formalist arguments in favour of ryman will talk about white as pure in a second)
10 people (lisa, zac,kim,me,alan,d,ray,colleen,sundar,pat) dinner at toba (glass of v. good, medium italian dry, steak tartare w. frites, baccanoi(sp) w. root vegetables and pancetta pluse astreudal of banana and peacan w. cinamon ice cream) followed by drinks at jersey giant (cider, blackheath i think ?)...low key, not deep and not v. drunken conversation.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
http://www.nybooks.com/articles/17670
a thoughtful, prayerful, and powerful clarion call for life, for the life of the condemned, and for a larger culture of politcal and social responsiblity, esp. for those who are in the position of killing people, by the nun who wrote dead man walking, and esp. about how shrubs policies violate any sancity for the other, for the other in the prisons and the other on the battle fields...an other where his xian god encouraged (requires) love.
i know that it has been a point that has been hammered out over and over again, the conflation of god and death, and the hyprocrisy that is required to hold a love for both of those in ones hand (not any god, christ) but the theological implications are at the core of american geopolitics (both inner and outer) right now, and central to a variety of left/right debates, and to be reminded of it is nessc.
helen prejouf (sp) does this, her villgeance is the villegaence of a magadelene.
a thoughtful, prayerful, and powerful clarion call for life, for the life of the condemned, and for a larger culture of politcal and social responsiblity, esp. for those who are in the position of killing people, by the nun who wrote dead man walking, and esp. about how shrubs policies violate any sancity for the other, for the other in the prisons and the other on the battle fields...an other where his xian god encouraged (requires) love.
i know that it has been a point that has been hammered out over and over again, the conflation of god and death, and the hyprocrisy that is required to hold a love for both of those in ones hand (not any god, christ) but the theological implications are at the core of american geopolitics (both inner and outer) right now, and central to a variety of left/right debates, and to be reminded of it is nessc.
helen prejouf (sp) does this, her villgeance is the villegaence of a magadelene.
Friday, January 14, 2005
HER body is not so white as
anemone petals nor so smooth--nor
so remote a thing. It is a field
of the wild carrot taking
the field by force; the grass
does not raise above it.
Here is no question of whiteness,
white as can be, with a purple mole
at the center of each flower.
Each flower is a hand's span
of her whiteness. Wherever
his hand has lain there is
a tiny purple blossom under his touch
to which the fibres of her being
stem one by one, each to its end,
until the whole field is a
white desire, empty, a single stem,
a cluster, flower by flower,
a pious wish to whiteness gone over--
or nothing.
wcw
also its sf/j and its not a her
anemone petals nor so smooth--nor
so remote a thing. It is a field
of the wild carrot taking
the field by force; the grass
does not raise above it.
Here is no question of whiteness,
white as can be, with a purple mole
at the center of each flower.
Each flower is a hand's span
of her whiteness. Wherever
his hand has lain there is
a tiny purple blossom under his touch
to which the fibres of her being
stem one by one, each to its end,
until the whole field is a
white desire, empty, a single stem,
a cluster, flower by flower,
a pious wish to whiteness gone over--
or nothing.
wcw
also its sf/j and its not a her
i have a woman (a wife of a friend of mine; who also happens to sing opera) who did her degree and knows people, and has read for presses at harvard (where she has a degree) who agreed to read my pages, and see if she could place it at any east coast academic presses...
and my toronto agent has given my contract to a guy he knows in buffalo, because i will most likely end up selling this to an american, rather then a canadian publisher, since it is about american religion.
good news.
also i have fucked over raymonds credit, because i
a) believe people who are trying to sell me two years contracts.
b) dont have a credit card so i need to depend on other people.
c) didnt bother paying my bills on time& having bills lost b/c of the constant moves and other general chaos.
d) being a fuckwit.
(am seeing a credit counselar who works for the disabled monday though)
and my toronto agent has given my contract to a guy he knows in buffalo, because i will most likely end up selling this to an american, rather then a canadian publisher, since it is about american religion.
good news.
also i have fucked over raymonds credit, because i
a) believe people who are trying to sell me two years contracts.
b) dont have a credit card so i need to depend on other people.
c) didnt bother paying my bills on time& having bills lost b/c of the constant moves and other general chaos.
d) being a fuckwit.
(am seeing a credit counselar who works for the disabled monday though)
Thursday, January 13, 2005
and also, go check out tobias wongs edgy reclaimation and decimation of traditonal high design, making complicated, theoritcially loaded, edgy objects out of both common and edgy materials (tiffany pearl studs covered in removable black industrial rubber, 600 dollars of lucite on 20 dollar utility shelves, engraved silver box cutters)
also how he does not have his own studios, but uses other commerical and coperate spaces, fantastic, hardcore work here...
http://www.brokenoff.com/
also how he does not have his own studios, but uses other commerical and coperate spaces, fantastic, hardcore work here...
http://www.brokenoff.com/
alright, foto show is hung, and it doesnt look half bad, all sorts of neat combos of fotos, im really rather proud of it.
finished 4 books since ive last updated---
bernard levy's book on war ---which 1/3rd of it was a trenchant, well written, low key, reportage of 5 major conflicts, with really good details (ie the israelis have basically given away fighter jets to sri lanka , exporting a v. similar colonial war to similar situtations (more on tamil vs palestine, i think)...or how in southern sudan it is safe to travel in war zones b/c most of the brunudi rebels are seventh day adventists so its safe to travel on sat. the rest of this book was a really complicated analysis of the recent french thought (from hegel (i know he's not french) towards michel (for whom i think he was too kind) (he had really good things to say about the '68 situation, and its ramifactions) on colonalism and violence, using the first third as a originating text
odd gods--an encylopedia on alternative religous movements in america, v. respectful (too respectful really) , written in an encylopedic, academic style, with a good introduction that analyzed 19th century anti papist and anti mormon agit prop in a way i had not seen before.
peter biskinds book on indie films and miramax was mostly a waste, told me nothing i didnt know, and skimped on both the juicy gossip and bitchy analysis that made raging bull worth reading.
a bankhead bio that was mostly about how she liked booze, pussy and coke. (who doesnt)
martins money has come in, and i have my last pay cheque for toys r us so i have a bit of cash until the 18th, where i will start applying for disability...
(oh and prince harry has become my favourite little fascist gallavanting with the sprog of one of mugabes best thugs and dressing as a nazi for a colonials and colonised (wrong term) fancy dress party---is this the sort of thing that always happened and just got a little more public ? )
alright, who ever is commenting on my blog, fuck off and die (not the nice ones, the crazy ones)
finished 4 books since ive last updated---
bernard levy's book on war ---which 1/3rd of it was a trenchant, well written, low key, reportage of 5 major conflicts, with really good details (ie the israelis have basically given away fighter jets to sri lanka , exporting a v. similar colonial war to similar situtations (more on tamil vs palestine, i think)...or how in southern sudan it is safe to travel in war zones b/c most of the brunudi rebels are seventh day adventists so its safe to travel on sat. the rest of this book was a really complicated analysis of the recent french thought (from hegel (i know he's not french) towards michel (for whom i think he was too kind) (he had really good things to say about the '68 situation, and its ramifactions) on colonalism and violence, using the first third as a originating text
odd gods--an encylopedia on alternative religous movements in america, v. respectful (too respectful really) , written in an encylopedic, academic style, with a good introduction that analyzed 19th century anti papist and anti mormon agit prop in a way i had not seen before.
peter biskinds book on indie films and miramax was mostly a waste, told me nothing i didnt know, and skimped on both the juicy gossip and bitchy analysis that made raging bull worth reading.
a bankhead bio that was mostly about how she liked booze, pussy and coke. (who doesnt)
martins money has come in, and i have my last pay cheque for toys r us so i have a bit of cash until the 18th, where i will start applying for disability...
(oh and prince harry has become my favourite little fascist gallavanting with the sprog of one of mugabes best thugs and dressing as a nazi for a colonials and colonised (wrong term) fancy dress party---is this the sort of thing that always happened and just got a little more public ? )
alright, who ever is commenting on my blog, fuck off and die (not the nice ones, the crazy ones)
Monday, January 10, 2005
so today was a write off, a meltdown over the beurocratic snakenest in the ohip office, the having no insurance and not having the werewithall to fight them; the lawyer telling me no bones to a lawsuit for toys r us; raymonds gift being sold out; a bad diner meal at a place i was looking forward to; stitches to come out today and the fever/coldish fluish thing.
reading more slowly then usual too.
reading more slowly then usual too.
Friday, January 07, 2005
i am assuming that sean tisdal has found my blog, and is going by the name jim mcgreevy, insulting me w. rather childish taunts...
if it isn't you sean, then i think a phone call or email from the guilty party would be honourable--this teasing behind a fake name smacks of the playground.
i have comments to encourage discourse, and to push forward conflicting ideas, not to be harrassed by those w/o the balls to say something to my face.
if it isn't you sean, then i think a phone call or email from the guilty party would be honourable--this teasing behind a fake name smacks of the playground.
i have comments to encourage discourse, and to push forward conflicting ideas, not to be harrassed by those w/o the balls to say something to my face.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
4 and 5, not 6 and 7
tucker carlson was fired today as well--which is too bad, because he was a sensible and intelligent critic of the left (esp. his war reporting !! in iraq) , i wonder exactly happened, when cnn cheifs are glib, nothing good comes out of it:
"I guess I come down more firmly in the Jon Stewart camp"
CEO Klein
(i think carlson had a point, i think that there is something nervous about how much the young are disaffected, so mired in irony that all information has to be dismissed before it is absorbed--and this is coming from a man who thinks that stewart is as close as we can get to swift in a mclunan age--i also think that stewarts point, about how cnn ( a real news network) has given up on reportage, and has become a series of b adly perfomed, litrigucally tight theatrical rituals. )
so no one comes out good here
tucker carlson was fired today as well--which is too bad, because he was a sensible and intelligent critic of the left (esp. his war reporting !! in iraq) , i wonder exactly happened, when cnn cheifs are glib, nothing good comes out of it:
"I guess I come down more firmly in the Jon Stewart camp"
CEO Klein
(i think carlson had a point, i think that there is something nervous about how much the young are disaffected, so mired in irony that all information has to be dismissed before it is absorbed--and this is coming from a man who thinks that stewart is as close as we can get to swift in a mclunan age--i also think that stewarts point, about how cnn ( a real news network) has given up on reportage, and has become a series of b adly perfomed, litrigucally tight theatrical rituals. )
so no one comes out good here
3/4s of the collings was useless, but the essay on hogarth was brillaint, b/c of his skills at observatioin--an old school art historian, who notices what is in a text and a new fashioned art historian who notices what is outside---his prose almost sounds stupid but it isnt, worth while book.
david thompson's book on hollywood had good stuff on the decadent scene (20 things that people forget a bout hollywood); a good hickeyesque psuedo essay on what happens to famous female charcachters after the reels stop rolling ---it reminded me alot of hickey, bt still i couldnt get into it (6 and 7...i think)
fired today for fall down and g o boom today, and my stitches itch and im exhausted nearing tears, but bought xmas presents so shrug...
"money comes and money goes, what are you going to do about it thats what id like to know"
paul simon
first bread then ethics
brecht
david thompson's book on hollywood had good stuff on the decadent scene (20 things that people forget a bout hollywood); a good hickeyesque psuedo essay on what happens to famous female charcachters after the reels stop rolling ---it reminded me alot of hickey, bt still i couldnt get into it (6 and 7...i think)
fired today for fall down and g o boom today, and my stitches itch and im exhausted nearing tears, but bought xmas presents so shrug...
"money comes and money goes, what are you going to do about it thats what id like to know"
paul simon
first bread then ethics
brecht
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
finished the very clear and very bitter book on clinton last night and a book by mtv books called lit riffs, where famousy writers write about famous songs, self indulgent and awkard mostly-- some redemptive peices though including a tiny little memoir by jt leroy about going to a dentist as an addict and a v. over the top meloncholia as camp peice by hedi (last name forgotten saved it) (so thats 2+3)
got out matthew collings book on old masters (hogarth, titian, reubens and velaquez) plus one of dave thompsons books on hollywood (i cannot seem to get the fucking biographical dictionary of film, b/c its reference everywhere)
pay cheque in, still worried about martin (his money, and the time of his money, and the awkardness of asking and the desperation of place, of the bouncing all over, trying to find home, not being able to afford living unless i am some kind of parasite & how martin keeps offering, so i shouldnt be too offended)
also will eisner died--never a huge deal for me, admired his ability to work until the end though.
got out matthew collings book on old masters (hogarth, titian, reubens and velaquez) plus one of dave thompsons books on hollywood (i cannot seem to get the fucking biographical dictionary of film, b/c its reference everywhere)
pay cheque in, still worried about martin (his money, and the time of his money, and the awkardness of asking and the desperation of place, of the bouncing all over, trying to find home, not being able to afford living unless i am some kind of parasite & how martin keeps offering, so i shouldnt be too offended)
also will eisner died--never a huge deal for me, admired his ability to work until the end though.
Monday, January 03, 2005
some houses
dufferin and eglinton 416 412 1071
bloor and dufferin 416 588 6158/905 837 0991
dufferin 416 994 3964
416-850-4536. Wallace Ave. and Bloor
25 Windermere Ave. Swan Sea area ff1tt@hotmail.com write ROOM in subject line (416) 762 2821 weekdays 6pm - 10:30 pm; weekends 8am - 10:30 pm (416) 604 5165 voicemail 24/7, leave a message
416) 633-6951 shepered and dufferin
416-839-5895 dundas west
416 465 3426, 416 767 9795 or 416 320 7501 leslie and queen
dufferin and eglinton 416 412 1071
bloor and dufferin 416 588 6158/905 837 0991
dufferin 416 994 3964
416-850-4536. Wallace Ave. and Bloor
25 Windermere Ave. Swan Sea area ff1tt@hotmail.com write ROOM in subject line (416) 762 2821 weekdays 6pm - 10:30 pm; weekends 8am - 10:30 pm (416) 604 5165 voicemail 24/7, leave a message
416) 633-6951 shepered and dufferin
416-839-5895 dundas west
416 465 3426, 416 767 9795 or 416 320 7501 leslie and queen
i am going to start recording my reading, books ive finished and what i have thought of them, hoping to make it to a 100. (a spin off of the blog game 50 books.)
i have read so far this year:
1) Kinsey (from bloomington, a timid and shy biography, a big hagiographic and mostly about refuting the kenneth anger style bio by james jones)
I am reading:
A Vast Right Wing Conspiaracy (sp)--about clinton, by a liberal stalwart, only on about page 50 or so, but at least he is aware of how sleazy our friend bill is.
peter, the pyscho dutch man, pushed my hand thru a window while pulling me down the stars, 5 stitches, evicted and basically homeless, waiting for martin to lend me more money, so that i can have first and last on a place, again deeply and permantley fucked when it comes to taking care of my self (and frustrated at the leech like patterns that spill over to the new year, self reliance will be the goal i hope) , had to miss sunday at work, b/c of exhasution and stitches-- (however i do look sexy in a streetbrawling butch kind of way--a look i never before attempted.)
need my machine, despeartley. (sp)
i have read so far this year:
1) Kinsey (from bloomington, a timid and shy biography, a big hagiographic and mostly about refuting the kenneth anger style bio by james jones)
I am reading:
A Vast Right Wing Conspiaracy (sp)--about clinton, by a liberal stalwart, only on about page 50 or so, but at least he is aware of how sleazy our friend bill is.
peter, the pyscho dutch man, pushed my hand thru a window while pulling me down the stars, 5 stitches, evicted and basically homeless, waiting for martin to lend me more money, so that i can have first and last on a place, again deeply and permantley fucked when it comes to taking care of my self (and frustrated at the leech like patterns that spill over to the new year, self reliance will be the goal i hope) , had to miss sunday at work, b/c of exhasution and stitches-- (however i do look sexy in a streetbrawling butch kind of way--a look i never before attempted.)
need my machine, despeartley. (sp)
Saturday, January 01, 2005
http://www.artnet.com/Magazine/features/polsky/polsky12-23-04.asp
the market report for this year, good writer, good resource (d, look at peyton and estes)
d for the record i have these for you
one postcard
two artist statements
one clipping from the nyt
one clipping from the national post
some photocopies of realvent books,
i will have to find an envelope, but dont let me forget them
the market report for this year, good writer, good resource (d, look at peyton and estes)
d for the record i have these for you
one postcard
two artist statements
one clipping from the nyt
one clipping from the national post
some photocopies of realvent books,
i will have to find an envelope, but dont let me forget them
new years was the usual decadence, followed by vodka and nachos, then sleeping over at coleens place...i decided some impt parts of my sexual ethics last night (and rachels, but thats a story i cannot tell), and also decided that my desecion towards the world and away from god, and my work at developing a christianity with out the church will be larger goals in my work and my personal life. (and with this i risk isolatiing myself from xians that i have found worthwhile, important, and holy...which explains why drew is ignoring me)
today ray & c, cuddling comtemplating plotting eating pizza wathcing mcnamara reach for redemption, for the processes of politcal change, asking for forgivness in morris, difficult and thorny doc the fog of war---the last morris i had to see, and amazing for how seamless it was, its structure and narrative about ideologies and ideas, not chronos, but w/o th droopy, unwatchable boredom of debords or godards work on this
i love ray and i love colleen and its family.
as well, Louise Borgeious (sp) drawings were called weak in relation to the art market reports of 2005...i have seen her drawings a dozen times live and a hundred t imes in repo, and find there casualness, there strangeness, the pure control of form, and the sweet sinister subject matter really important, and really interesting---worth much more in relation to her subject matter then her spiders and phalluses.
today ray & c, cuddling comtemplating plotting eating pizza wathcing mcnamara reach for redemption, for the processes of politcal change, asking for forgivness in morris, difficult and thorny doc the fog of war---the last morris i had to see, and amazing for how seamless it was, its structure and narrative about ideologies and ideas, not chronos, but w/o th droopy, unwatchable boredom of debords or godards work on this
i love ray and i love colleen and its family.
as well, Louise Borgeious (sp) drawings were called weak in relation to the art market reports of 2005...i have seen her drawings a dozen times live and a hundred t imes in repo, and find there casualness, there strangeness, the pure control of form, and the sweet sinister subject matter really important, and really interesting---worth much more in relation to her subject matter then her spiders and phalluses.
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