two ect sessions this week.
five things to note
a) its mostly waiting--waiting for the session, waiting after the session, four or five hours in this cinderblock bunker with a big flat screen, and 3.30 of that is waiting.
b) i ache and want to puke after the sessions, like the body trying to reassert itself.
c) i think i am the youngest person there, with one exception.
d) everyone seems nice enough, but cognitivly impaired, like the worwst mashed potato bits in the worst of my depression (except the doctors, who i like)
e) walking up in the recovery room, when i'm blind, all i see is these bright colours, yellows of biohazard signs, blues of scrubs, whites of sheets, this seems significant.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Some Visual Stuff I didn't have space below for:
How to Tie A Turban, from the 40s.
How to Tie A Turban, from the 40s.
Source: bycommonconsent.com via pinkmoose on Pinterest
Source: popularsizes.tumblr.com via pinkmoose on Pinterest
Source: latimesblogs.latimes.com via pinkmoose on Pinterest
Josh Langhoff's review of the new sinead is brilliant.
stripper polaroids from the 70s and publicity shots from the 60s.
13 sateillete photos of slums
the worlds most beautiful gas station is either the AAlto one in Finland, or the Van De Rohe one on Nun's Island on Montreal. The Nun's Island one has been smartly and sensitivley restored and is now used as a youth center.
Dick Dale, Amazing Grace, 2012.
i'm not fond of meryl, and her oscar for the iron lday was a bit of a travesty--the la times explains why.
Roberta Smith on the successes and problems of the first major Cindy Sherman Retrospective. One of the things she notes--is that the genuninely isolating work from the 90s, that do not feature Sherman at all, but where the masks and props take an uncanny turn to their own autonomy, are underplayed in the show--the best example of this, is the Sex Parts series, which deny both the camp ponographics of Koons (which they are courant with) and the phallocentric misogyny of Bellmer (which they are obviously qouting) you can see some of those images here here
and speaking of difficult women this article on the problems of pop music and women's autonomy by Miles Rayner is amazing.
antique machinery scans
Delftware makes me happy Here is a dutch dealer.
Spoek Mathomba are a South African Hip Hop Collective, they are amazing.
China Melville on London might be the best I Love You, and I cannot Leave You, but you are breaking my heart, letter to a city that has ever been written. It might be a book, and it should be a booklet dropped from helicopters.
gary indiana on bresson's pick pocket with the line:
Far more romantic than his dealings with Jeanne are Michel’s encounters with the professional thief identified in the film’s credits by the single name Kassagi. Distinctly reptilian, as comfortable in criminality as a rubber duck in a bubble bath, Kassagi is like the lover who, after you’ve had a few quotidian partners, reveals the astonishing range of pleasures available from someone who actually knows what he’s doing.
karen carpenter isolated vocals.
Network Rail has a virtual archive, of scans of plans and photographs of 19th century anglo railroads.
the website for the Guggenheim Chamberlin gives you four images of each sculpture, and the shots themselves are beautiful. It also does not restrict you from right clicking, and the captions are clear and precise. Will not change yr mind about Chamberlin, but v. much a best practive about sculpture shows.
a story about insects one thought extinct, but found again on one of the worlds most remote islands, and a group of aussie research scientists trying to figure out how to save them. Science!
an oral history of Richard Diebenkorn
Bogdal's essay on the Roma and European History makes the case that the idea of them as an ethnicity seems to begin with the Holocaust, and the problems with that historicised Lacunae.
28 photos of Johnny Cash.
Traditional Dutch Dancing, in Holland Michigan. (Thanks Alex)
this kate beaton comic about small towns and death and economic disapora and canadian regionalism and its small, tight, memoiristic, not funny at all, and made me cry.
Matthew Griffin writes about the power of Dr Reynolds, a year onwards.
syrian doctors have been found to be torturing patients.
Pictionary, the Cormac MCCarthy Edition.
my new totem animal is the pink fairly armidillo.
stripper polaroids from the 70s and publicity shots from the 60s.
13 sateillete photos of slums
the worlds most beautiful gas station is either the AAlto one in Finland, or the Van De Rohe one on Nun's Island on Montreal. The Nun's Island one has been smartly and sensitivley restored and is now used as a youth center.
Dick Dale, Amazing Grace, 2012.
i'm not fond of meryl, and her oscar for the iron lday was a bit of a travesty--the la times explains why.
Roberta Smith on the successes and problems of the first major Cindy Sherman Retrospective. One of the things she notes--is that the genuninely isolating work from the 90s, that do not feature Sherman at all, but where the masks and props take an uncanny turn to their own autonomy, are underplayed in the show--the best example of this, is the Sex Parts series, which deny both the camp ponographics of Koons (which they are courant with) and the phallocentric misogyny of Bellmer (which they are obviously qouting) you can see some of those images here here
and speaking of difficult women this article on the problems of pop music and women's autonomy by Miles Rayner is amazing.
antique machinery scans
Delftware makes me happy Here is a dutch dealer.
Spoek Mathomba are a South African Hip Hop Collective, they are amazing.
China Melville on London might be the best I Love You, and I cannot Leave You, but you are breaking my heart, letter to a city that has ever been written. It might be a book, and it should be a booklet dropped from helicopters.
gary indiana on bresson's pick pocket with the line:
Far more romantic than his dealings with Jeanne are Michel’s encounters with the professional thief identified in the film’s credits by the single name Kassagi. Distinctly reptilian, as comfortable in criminality as a rubber duck in a bubble bath, Kassagi is like the lover who, after you’ve had a few quotidian partners, reveals the astonishing range of pleasures available from someone who actually knows what he’s doing.
karen carpenter isolated vocals.
Network Rail has a virtual archive, of scans of plans and photographs of 19th century anglo railroads.
the website for the Guggenheim Chamberlin gives you four images of each sculpture, and the shots themselves are beautiful. It also does not restrict you from right clicking, and the captions are clear and precise. Will not change yr mind about Chamberlin, but v. much a best practive about sculpture shows.
a story about insects one thought extinct, but found again on one of the worlds most remote islands, and a group of aussie research scientists trying to figure out how to save them. Science!
an oral history of Richard Diebenkorn
Bogdal's essay on the Roma and European History makes the case that the idea of them as an ethnicity seems to begin with the Holocaust, and the problems with that historicised Lacunae.
28 photos of Johnny Cash.
Traditional Dutch Dancing, in Holland Michigan. (Thanks Alex)
this kate beaton comic about small towns and death and economic disapora and canadian regionalism and its small, tight, memoiristic, not funny at all, and made me cry.
Matthew Griffin writes about the power of Dr Reynolds, a year onwards.
syrian doctors have been found to be torturing patients.
Pictionary, the Cormac MCCarthy Edition.
my new totem animal is the pink fairly armidillo.
Monday, March 12, 2012
as part of the ect i had to get the beard off, so i did it after lunch today, at a place i feel comfortable, with someone i am fond of.
it;s funny, there is a lot about my beard that's important.
a) it is a mark of my break with the lds church
b) it is symbolic of my connection to the early lds church
c) it is about the shambolic, slightly chaotic way i go about my life
d) it is maybe a bit about my father
e) it is connected to a kind of working class tradition (though my beard is now absent to make it easier for a mask to be present, to deliver oxygen. real working class boys in alberta have goatees or mustaches
f) because in a round about way, i don;t like my chin and my cheeks, i look better when i am less round. i also think that hair, is soft, is multitextured, is pleasing tactilly. the stubble is rough.
g) which reminds me--and this is not to be discounted, the boys i like to fuck, and the boys who like to fuck me, are bearded. there is a boy right now in front of me, wiht a beard, who is sexy mostly for it, and the guy i saw on the subway on the way to meet spencer, and the guy who was selling records last week, hipster or no, beards are sexy.
h) i am less sexy, and have less strength with my beard because my beard holds my erotic power.
it;s funny, there is a lot about my beard that's important.
a) it is a mark of my break with the lds church
b) it is symbolic of my connection to the early lds church
c) it is about the shambolic, slightly chaotic way i go about my life
d) it is maybe a bit about my father
e) it is connected to a kind of working class tradition (though my beard is now absent to make it easier for a mask to be present, to deliver oxygen. real working class boys in alberta have goatees or mustaches
f) because in a round about way, i don;t like my chin and my cheeks, i look better when i am less round. i also think that hair, is soft, is multitextured, is pleasing tactilly. the stubble is rough.
g) which reminds me--and this is not to be discounted, the boys i like to fuck, and the boys who like to fuck me, are bearded. there is a boy right now in front of me, wiht a beard, who is sexy mostly for it, and the guy i saw on the subway on the way to meet spencer, and the guy who was selling records last week, hipster or no, beards are sexy.
h) i am less sexy, and have less strength with my beard because my beard holds my erotic power.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
the entire wig stock is on youtube, so i finally saw footage of the infamous lee bowery birthing scene, and two things that were new about it for me
a) he birthed a woman (all of the problems with the word women given)
b) that it was in the middle of an audience of thousands, after an evening of other drag performances, as entertainment.
a) he birthed a woman (all of the problems with the word women given)
b) that it was in the middle of an audience of thousands, after an evening of other drag performances, as entertainment.
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Saturday, March 03, 2012
we need to talk about kevin, nearing so close to camp, and heavily aware self parody in swinton's almost meta performance, oblique, difficult, ravishingly beautiful (seamus mcgarvey)and an isolating sound track by johnny greenwood, i am not sure if it was the best movie i have seen in the last few months or the worst. (i kept thinking thru-out it how unsentimental it was, and how it refused questions about both redemption and evil; the book was startling for admitting in public how terrible in many ways mothers feel about their sons--and Tilda as a mother is often loving, but it is a love that is wry, ironic, often harsh, and intellectual)
also, i like to think in my mind, that the message of the film was that if you move to the suburbs yr teenage son will become a murderous psychopath (joking aside, Shriver's Book, the film, and the magisterial piece of long form journalism about Columbine by Dave Cullen is that all of the apologies we have for the boys; they were bullied, they were bored, they were forced by a culture of complacency, they were evil, they were crazy, are never true, that the overwhelming sense of the problem is that there is a hair breadth between the usual adolescent acting out and the acting out that results in such violence) (also, teenagers are lousy at impulse control)
one more thing--there was a scene in the doctor's office, where tilda asks if kevin might be autistic, the line of awkard cats laughed at that one
also, i like to think in my mind, that the message of the film was that if you move to the suburbs yr teenage son will become a murderous psychopath (joking aside, Shriver's Book, the film, and the magisterial piece of long form journalism about Columbine by Dave Cullen is that all of the apologies we have for the boys; they were bullied, they were bored, they were forced by a culture of complacency, they were evil, they were crazy, are never true, that the overwhelming sense of the problem is that there is a hair breadth between the usual adolescent acting out and the acting out that results in such violence) (also, teenagers are lousy at impulse control)
one more thing--there was a scene in the doctor's office, where tilda asks if kevin might be autistic, the line of awkard cats laughed at that one
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