postcards i just put up (around my moms print, because i really need to have my own space somewhere.

from right to left bottom to top

dutch grotesqurie from the tate
hobeins portrait of thomas moore from the national gallery london
liz taylor in dr faustus (ridicouls, really) (from edmonton)
rabbits run thru stream (detail from a kimino) (seattle)
crysthemum, mondrian (vancouver)
zurban, plate/flower/cup (national galleery london--ive written poems about this)
ellsworth kelly wrongside up (mark c mailed me this from the 2002 bienalle in venice)
Fontanna slash (orginal canvas) pat bought me this
bronzio young medici (nitsuh bought me this from frick)
cindy sherman playing marylin in the misfits (vancouver, i think)
baboon w. large penis (freud musuem london)
gas station (vancouver foto invite)
cree bead work (glenbow calgary)
chardin bread and plums (nitshu, frick)
woman with fly (see below--though the fly is much smaller hten i remember)
bruce nauman think (pat)
freuds chair (freud musuem london)
moguhal minture (detail) british musuem)
Van Eycks Marriage (is it about marriage before or after) )where did i get this one (london or new york)
a young elizabeth (pat over xmas)
the eagleston woman with the blue dress (national portrait gallery)
igbo mask, nigeria -- chicago, from rgj
pierre et gilles sailor (from adam in geneva)

tilda

in 1490, an anonymus Netherlands artist
paints a woman with a white wimple

and a black mark which moves
towards a perfect blank face

it’s wedding and weddings mean adulthood
and adulthood means death or at least dying
and if It means anything it means that

ca 1994 someone makes a film out of the book
young adam and the thing is there are no
weddings, and adulthood means sleeping with
married women—but there is death,

sometime, half way through, we see the breast of tilda
as white as too skimmed cream, with the blue tinge of ice
a fly lands, flies, moves further up and over.

It’s the same northern lass, and most likely the same fly.

AnthonySEaston (2:01:26 PM): im trying to figure out american constituonal law
teenydreams (2:02:02 PM): good luck, it seems to be a squirmy beast
teenydreams (2:02:21 PM): if you have a specific question I can ask my husband, he's a lawyer
AnthonySEaston (2:03:15 PM): actually i am wondering about the connections between laws concerning treason/sedition and the second ammendment
teenydreams (2:04:49 PM): hm those are a couple of interesting things to think about together
AnthonySEaston (2:06:06 PM): esp. in relation to Nauvoo if you know anything about LDS history
teenydreams (2:06:29 PM): yes!
AnthonySEaston (2:07:05 PM): good, so ask him that then
AnthonySEaston (2:10:59 PM): if you could please and thank you
teenydreams (2:11:04 PM): :-)
teenydreams (2:11:27 PM): I don't remember the treason bit in nauvoo though, just increased seperatism?
teenydreams (2:11:33 PM): which perhaps amounts to the same thing
teenydreams (2:11:49 PM): and maybe I am confusing it with a different mormon town
AnthonySEaston (2:13:25 PM): thats the question im asking--is that if you have an army in a small town that is half the size of the total american army, and if you are sending it out ot do american tasks, and if you are making yr own citadels upon the hill, when does it stop being defenisve and when does it start becoming agressive


teenydreams (2:14:21 PM): ask the branch davidians as well
teenydreams (2:14:37 PM): and they didn't even have an army!
teenydreams (2:15:48 PM): it is a good topic for conversation, I will bring it up with him
AnthonySEaston (2:15:51 PM): well exactly
teenydreams (2:16:06 PM): but I suspect the answer is, it becomes aggressive whenever the US government says so
teenydreams (2:16:26 PM): I don't know whether there is a judicial test that actions such as that can be put to
teenydreams (2:16:32 PM): but maybe!
AnthonySEaston (2:16:48 PM): i wonder then the history
teenydreams (2:18:21 PM): and then most recently there were the 'minutemen' in arizona, going out and doing what they thought the government wasn't doing well enough
teenydreams (2:18:39 PM): if you asked any of them I'm sure they would say they are americans and would obey american military orders
AnthonySEaston (2:24:15 PM): yeah, there is something wierd in that insurection is codfied in american law but perhaps not in practice?
teenydreams (2:25:04 PM): I don't think many people have been brought up on treason charges
teenydreams (2:25:36 PM): I just looked it up, it's like 30 total!
teenydreams (2:25:41 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treason#United_States
AnthonySEaston (2:25:41 PM): how would you
AnthonySEaston (2:25:47 PM): i saw that
teenydreams (2:25:59 PM): how would you get brought up?
AnthonySEaston (2:29:31 PM): i dont know, why wasnt joesph smith ?
teenydreams (2:29:58 PM): maybe it wasn't worth it to bring him up after he died?
teenydreams (2:30:49 PM): there are a lot of interesting parallels between him getting involved in the judiciary/gov't in nauvoo and what is happening now!
AnthonySEaston (2:30:56 PM): tell me more3
teenydreams (2:32:06 PM): ooh well it's been a while since I read that book on nauvoo (fires of heaven or something like that?) but I remember missouri was always trying to extradite him for the mormon wars

denied for aish, have to chase more paper work, which is just exhausting.

had a seizure in the canada bible society yesterday and had someone falling over me, hoping to bless me, hoping to exit god from me

finsihed susie brights 2004 anthology of erotic short fiction, which i recommend for an amazing steve almond (who wrote candy freak, the more of which i think about it, the more i realise how impt it was politically and how that politcal works was a trojan horse) and a strange freudian jerry stahl (who i think is james ellroy in LA w/o the damaging nostalgia, and w. more heroin) (ellroy lost something i think when he went to the epix)

in the middle of a book on the military (scary), the huge elvis bio last train to memphis(dull), the new biographical dictionary of film by thomson(fascianting), and two books on the blossoming of new sexual ethics post wwii. (one brit/one american both obv.)

wrote peices in the past week, on sharon tate, astrid gilberto, franz kline and cowboy ballads , but its become fractioned, and not filling with whole ideas written in whole sentences, the energy that came in the begginning with the long essays on warhol, rodeo and the protestant ethic, the problems with the anglican corpus, etc has seemed to have gone like a rabbit and a hole.

im still pushing about 1000 words a day, aside from the book

i think the kline might be part of a longer essay on work that qaulifies as concerning itself wtih pop before or at the time pop was emerging, using hamiltions nine as qaulifications, but that would be a long shot---remy and h in addis are looking at warhol in an attempt for some cash money, but i want to give tom something big for the freaky trigger update so...

maybe its just book work and outlining which means that ive fractured?

this shirt, unreconstucted raw silk, hand dyed, is perhaps one of the most lovely and wonderous colours ive seen.

sundars bday party was a bust because of the assholes at cest what, and he kept talking about how it was his fault, how he wasnt agressive enough, and its not but it reminded me of how much blame occurs with with depressives--how much we are convinced that no one likes it, and its all our fault no matter how everyone else is fucking us over.

i keep trying to get him and rachel together, because i want him to hav all the fuun im not.

the bishop and the relief society head come to moms place, and though i was exiled to my bedroom, i heard large portions of the talk, and well its on--selling the place, moving her to a home, and shes worried about doing it is forcing me out, which was the ass kicking i need, the refusal to retreat into the same womb of childhood--shes also worried about what happened to her parents when they went into a home, worried about indepence, worried about death and worried about being not having anywhere for the grandchildren to come...all legit--and i am aparalyzed still that i am not doing all i can do, which apparently is unreasonable. thinking of the slow decay of some of my friends moms, and wondering and knowing what the rock and what the hard place is

i need to wite a registered letter to ray, telling him all of the stuff regarding the legal qaigmire, because it seems there is less and less a chance to get me to toronto. i wonder why glenys and he havent spent much time together.

i really really want to go back ome, edmonton is kiling me.

i worry that the eplispy is a phyiscal mannfiestion of concerns regarding empolybality, if its a way for my body to tell the world that i cannot work, or even if its just a way to get out of the way the rest of the word does business, a sort of cop[eralaztion of my laziness.

im not working as much on my book as i should.

ashley and dave have not contacted me, though i want to have lunch with them

rumsfield at the opry on america--mostly suppourt the troops stuff (but the surrealism of dolly and rumsfield on the stage) but he did say this.

the great sweep of history is for freedom and they are on freedoms side, god bless them, god bless their familes and god bless america

they being troops
(the two most common musical forms among american troops are hip hop and country)

Ironically, it was Joseph Ratzinger's fellow Germans who gave us the diabolical idea that moral absolutes are nonsense -- nihilists such as Nietzsche and Nazis such as Heidegger. French philosophers such as Foucault and Derrida then corrupted the faculty of reason with their postmodernist assault on truth.



Postmodernist thought is alive in many ideological isms: subjectivism, historicism, multiculturalism, deconstructionism, moral relativism and nihilism. It is the work of leftist academics at war with the Catholic concept of natural law. But others have promulgated this invidious idea.


"There is no such thing as truth, either in the moral or in the scientific sense." The author of this sentence was Adolf Hitler, although it could have been penned by any of today's postmodernist intellectuals.

William Donahue

I cobbled together grants and such to get me to the wonderous world of fun--so here is the list.

6th-8th--Vancouver
8th-15th--Shawnigan Lake
16th-17th--Victoria
18th--Seattle
19th-21st--Portland.

So faps, couches, tips, love?

The Abortion Clinic at the Royal Alex is being replaced by an In Vitro clinic, which destroys both teaching oppurtunities and services for poor women...i wrote a letter to the journal about it

Kids like to go where there is life, fun, and activity. The Second family created Soul Train City to give children a place to play, relax, have fun, and more importantly to study the Bible. Surrounded by colored murals and animatronic characters, children have the opportunity to hear Bible stories and Christian parables presented by Parabelle, an animated talking bird controlled by a hidden operator.

Located on the fourth floor of the Jane Elder Building, the Terminal gives students the opportunity to relax, play, and talk with friends. Here, students can eat, play games, air hockey, pool and ping pong. On the far side of the room, students may come after school to study, read, do homework, or take a break on our full size video games.

From the Virtual Tour of the Second Baptist Church Houston

I am torn between the commuitarian ethic of providing services from cradle to grave--from providing a resource space for everyone and christ as disneyland.

http://mocoloco.com/art/archives/000986.php#more
rachel see this.

http://www.bigmamaschurch.org/
read this now!

books

thomas findleys collection of essays about country life, reminded me of my uncle jim, loving, low key, queer, fun, and sweet--a life outside what is expected normally.

revoultion in the head--things i loathed about this book:
1) It doesnt seem unreasonable to me for Youve Got To HIde Your Love Away to be queer, in fact a queer reading seems as obv. as lets say jail house rock or jean genie. (i wrote more about this on nyplm under the title whos who in the purple gang)
2) The assumptions in Elenaor Rigby about the Beatles being the most realistic and socially concicous artists of all times
3) The insane underrating of the Shangri Las as just silly girls making black jokes about death, and how its all v. camp but not nearly as impt or vital as our saints, the beatles.
4) this line about Brian Epstien: A Lonely and hypersenstive homosexual, he was easily hurt by his proteges flippant gibes.
5) the assumption that no one listened to revoultion no. 9 more then once.
6) the complete and utter misreading of the ballad and jon and yoko
7) the careless assumption that joesph beuys was part of fluxus
8) the misogynst old boys dismissal of yokos talents
9) how little is written about harrison or starr
10) the dismissial of anything that wasnt simple or bluesy or dripping with working class versimilltude.
11) mostly it was the old fan boy who refused to belive that any other could infulence the beatles--the queers, the women, the people of colour, all of them invaded the breeder boy fortress that was the fab four

i liked its taxonomic, exhaustive approach though.

paglias burn break blow--it made me read marvell again, which made me happy, and her hatred of postmodernism crumbles into her love of pop culture, and it anthologizes one of my favourite wanda coleman and it has a fantastic essay on wcw's poem about plums and but it was old, and exhausted and sad, and it didnt have the provactive fury of her pervious work, her one book is a work of nature, wrong, convulsive, exhausting, but brilliant--everything else pales. (and she hates the fench

terry eagletons (d's thesis gift) was dishonest--he knew better then for example the african marxist post colonial revoultions had complicated and intractablly colonial realtionships with the ussr, or that marx's fear of culture tells more then he lets on and that marx lost or that baudillard never wrote that the gulf war never existed, and there is a funny but both pointless and nasty ad hominem attack out front.

post structalism scares people so much that they purposely refuse to honestly engage with its texts.

a book on donald judds early work, standard catalog copy, pretty pretty pictures, and a welcome gift from martin

(i am missing a couple, have we hit 40)

books

thomas findleys collection of essays about country life, reminded me of my uncle jim, loving, low key, queer, fun, and sweet--a life outside what is expected normally.

revoultion in the head--things i loathed about this book:
mostly it was the old fan boy who refused to belive that any other could infulence the beatles--the queers, the women, the people of colour, all of them invaded the breeder boy fortress that was the fab four

i liked its taxonomic, exhaustive approach though.

paglias burn break blow--it made me read marvell again, which made me happy, and her hatred of postmodernism crumbles into her love of pop culture, and it anthologizes one of my favourite wanda coleman and it has a fantastic essay on wcw's poem about plums and but it was old, and exhausted and sad, and it didnt have the provactive fury of her pervious work, her one book is a work of nature, wrong, convulsive, exhausting, but brilliant--everything else pales. (and she hates the fench

terry eagletons (d's thesis gift) was dishonest--he knew better then for example the african marxist post colonial revoultions had complicated and intractablly colonial realtionships with the ussr, or that marx's fear of culture tells more then he lets on and that marx lost or that baudillard never wrote that the gulf war never existed, and there is a funny but both pointless and nasty ad hominem attack out front.

post structalism scares people so much that they purposely refuse to honestly engage with its texts.

a book on donald judds early work, standard catalog copy, pretty pretty pictures, and a welcome gift from martin

(have we hit 40)

agnes, 6/30 prints

Lead, 1969, JAsper Johns, High School DAys

near the end of his fertile period, series of small and heavy reliefs of a toothbrush. eyeglasses, a lightbulb on chain, and this.

ideas of the artist as critic, the artist as voyuer, the artist as cheap, cliche ridden, the artist as permanent adolsecent. (also in terms of the toothbrush, a refuting of his earlier work--it looks hygenic and clean, but its literally deadly.

this one is really interesting as well, in a sort of anti autobiographical sense--w. the targets constantly queered, made political when he really is not...the mirror on the shoe is the heterosexual signifier, there can be nothing queer about it---the seminal primal veiwings of gay folks are easier to see and more difficult to process--male flesh parades. (football field, locker room, the summer heat, etc)

you guys are sick of all this fag stuff arent you--
then look at how formally brilliant the circle of the mirror is reflected in the bottom of the shoe, and the shine of silver is made more glorius in the dull shean of the lead.

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Green

Your actual outcome:

Labour -6
Conservative -49
	Liberal Democrat 70
UK Independence Party -17
	Green 31

You should vote: Liberal Democrat

The LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

if god is in me, he is a tumour
oz first season

another thot--

i dont think that dworkin reflected the nessc. complicated and personal negotions that occur in every day life...i ike drew, and drew likes me but we had this really difficult conversation coming back from church sunday...and i told him he had a heirachy of sexualities, with the one he managed to acheive as ideal---and while i pretended not to have one, i

then i talked to gerad, and how he believed all sexual ethics should come from christ, and how i thot so too--but his was an ethic of sacrifice and mine was an ethic of sexual intergration and how both of those were legit,

and then watching the 2005 country music video awards with my mother, and commenting on how loretta lynn was as femminist as any of the east coast elite that started the 2nd wave in the mid 60s (ie ti grace atkinson, friedan, steniem, etc) and my mother said that was because she was married at 13, and maybe lynns femminsm (and she would never call it that) was required for her people as tammy and dollys was--how she spoke to those who negotied gender and sex differently--but she did talk about the same things, about the exhaustion of motherhood, of domestic violence, of not being respected as a woman and an artist and a writer, of not wanting to have sex and of the liberating of the pill

in her gaurdian obit it was mentioned that dwarkin was married for 30 yrs to a man, maybe she found a way to negotiate the mindfields of sex, gender, desire, politics, and power the same way that everyone else does.

theory collpases into praxis and we make concessions on the streets we would never in the academies.

Andrea Dworkin is dead, younger then she should have been. Ill tell you something—I hate men. They have been violent, difficult, engaged in practices that should be considered sexual assulat, they have broken me, and in one unambiguous case, they have raped me.

I have been yelled at by passing cars, I have been bashed, I have had my sexuality doubted and destroyed by phallocentric power. Even now I find it v. difficult to be sexually free…and I cannot under any circumstance be pentrated, even though that is what is expected sexually. The Freudian model that reflects non penetrative sex as more infantile or at least adolscent is something that will remain for a long time

Abstractly—I worry about the triumph of porn, I worry about the popularity of bukkake, i still think that porn can destroy womens lives, that it is often not warm and fuzzy, that there was something lost in the commercial triumph of it. I worry that it is ugly ,and it reflects lies about how people interact…even if it is intended to turn me on.

Women have been damaged by men. Its true, look at the 146 rapes of women by men in the last five years at the Air Force Academy in Colorado and how those rapes are nbot court martialed, are excused—because of the domaince of men in the army. Look at how rape is used as a tool by soilders in every corner of the world.

The penetrative phallus is ontologically a controlling apparatus, who inserts and maintains a promience, esp. if it remains undeconstructed. There were things wrong with Dworkin—lets not kid ourselves, things are not as easy as cock bad vagina good, there is nothing so simple, gender is not that essentalist—but I think it would be wise to remember what has happened and what continues to happen.


(a note:i have to thank raymond for making me reconsider butch boys and what it means to be a butch boy--or a masculine man, he redeemed masculine tropes for me, and it took alot of fucking work and im still working to intergrate those letters)

im at the library in the fort, with a half dozen dvds, and this guy (cute, scruffy) asks me if i want to smoke some weed with him--i said no, and wonder w. sadness, if ve given up an oppurtuinity for communion.

at the scm conference glenys wants to introduce me to a pretty ex mormon, now sort of post xian, named orion--maybe we could have a proper temple wedding ;)

excited about the scm, and hoping portland comes thru as well.

finished work today, got the days goal completed, its so fucking slow--and mom needs me to do all these things, like sweep or do cans or things like that--so it makes it difficult, and then i become resentful and sadness.

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/review.php?ID=2907
me

the ironic thing is that there is a comment that i didnt write about lyke wake dirge, and i did--it just got cut (lots got cut and rewritten here)

http://www.eteamrevolution.net/culturecommission/halo-2
using halo 2 as an evagelical tool (drew, andrew)

http://www.julialohmann.co.uk/pi__flock.htm
dozens and dozens of mp3s of air force bands

lamps made from sheep stomachs, couches made of leather and shaped like cows--fascinating examples---and the sheep stomachs reflect right in a gorgeous, almost surreal kind of way. (i like cheap formal puns)

http://www.julialohmann.co.uk/pi__flock.htm

i think this is proof that no matter how cool rem koolhaus seattle library is--its a failure functionally
http://flickr.com/photos/mathowie/sets/66424/
venacular design is more interesting because it is more responsive. (discuss)

rodeo makes us think about common ways to look at spectacle, how protestants think about the ethics of their and other peoples bodies, and what it means when something practical turns into something larger and more tennous (sp)

contempary rodeo reflects several complicated ideas concerning the venacular consumption of spectacle, how corperality is mirrored onto protestant ethics of the body, and how the raw work of farming is transfigured into the abstract category set of sport.
abstract of an essay i am working on.

"Jesus is particularly stimulating to me," Kurt Vonnegut once wrote in a letter to the Dean of Chapel at Transylvania University, "since he noticed what I can't help noticing, that life is so hard most people are losers or feel like losers, so that a skill essential to most of us, if we are to retain some shred of dignity, is to show grace in defeat.... What I can't stand are sermons which say that to believe in the divinity of Jesus is a way to win."

from here:
http://www.thestranger.com/1999-08-19/feature.html

a brilliant article on creationfest and there scary t shirts

i guess i should write about the pope, and his passing, since it happned yesterday, and i cannot really say much. he was 84, he did his work, some great and some not...i could write about how much i appreciated his distaste for both communicsm and unfettered capitalism, how respectful he was to the idea of labour, how relavatory the theology of the body was, how devoted he was to those who where less.

i could talk about his distrust of queer folx. women, and how is birth control policies could be construed as genocidial. I could talk about him shutting down discourses when they should have been opened...vioalting the spirit of V2

i could talk about the saints he made, and how traditional his christiology was, or how sincere and joyus he felt at the idea of a risen christ.

i could mention cnn not mentioning queer stuff but pointing out women, i could mention how in a less then 30 second adress george w bush mentoined how much he respected life 5 or so times.

and i guess i have.
we'll miss him.

early american, lds paintings, some of them have a really angry, almost apocolyptic edge (like tar and feather the prophet; or mobbing on the missouri, or the ones from carthage) and some of them have a solid, documentary enegry, brugehel skies and grandma moses people.

i dont know anything about the artist, but they reach the level of j pinkham ryder...fucking amazing.

http://nephi.org/art/view.php/61/