all shall be well all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well julian of norwich

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2012/01/oscar-nominations-are-here.html

thots

a) when does the oscars not love a sentimental peiceo f disaster porn
b) i was amused that both close and streep were nominated, middle aged cat fight
c) mellissa mccarthy yeah!
d) the artist wll win best picture
e) best movie of the year for me (margin call) did not get acting, directing, cinematogrpahy or costume nods (though it deserved all of them), but it did get a writing nod
f) i haven't even heeard of two of the best animated nods
g) my continual frustration at best costume being just a historic note, continues unabated (bridesmaid, girl with a dragon tattoo, margin call, the skin i live in,
h) it is really bizarre that only two songs were nominated for original music
i) michelle william's better role was missed because of holywoods pure narcissim
j) it was a great year for documentaries (tabloid, page one, cave of forgotten dreams, bill cunningham's new york, all were left out, which is kind of frustrating)
k) i thot that the skin i live in or uncle bommee would be nominated for best foriegn)
l) i am sort of suprised nothing came from young adult

Monday, January 23, 2012

Maggie was ordained today, and for many reasons i was glad (because she's smart, and funny, she works hard, she has an innate sense of justice, because she fosters community, because she is a writer, because she knows simone weil, because of her arrest record, because she knows and perhaps is strange)

but the thing that impressed me the most in the service, and a service i was v. late for, was the use of this poem

John Donne


HOLY SONNETS.

VII.

At the round earth's imagined corners blow
Your trumpets, angels, and arise, arise
From death, you numberless infinities
Of souls, and to your scattered bodies go ;
All whom the flood did, and fire shall o'erthrow,
All whom war, dea[r]th, age, agues, tyrannies,
Despair, law, chance hath slain, and you, whose eyes
Shall behold God, and never taste death's woe.
But let them sleep, Lord, and me mourn a space ;
For, if above all these my sins abound,
'Tis late to ask abundance of Thy grace,
When we are there. Here on this lowly ground,
Teach me how to repent, for that's as good
As if Thou hadst seal'd my pardon with Thy blood.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

2nd year in the row of no pazz and jop comments

Monday, January 16, 2012

The highly sensory nature of (traumatic) memories and the absence of verbal narrative makes them similar to the memories of young children. Yet unlike normal memories from early childhood, traumatic memories (and the associated phenomenon of traumatic dreams) are experienced as involuntary, having a phenomenon of traumatic dreams) are experienced as involuntary, having a "driven, tenacious quality" and a repetitive dimension. Current research suggests in situations of hyper-arousal, particularity those for which the subject is unable to prepare, memory is encoded in a different, more viscerally experiential manner than normal. These bodily memories are not assimilated to consciousness and thus impinge on it in uncontrollable and intrusive ways. The best availble treatment for such memories seems to be narrativisaztion, through which bodily memories are relived and reordered in meaningful narrative forms. (76)

qouting Simone De Bouiver:

"I was more and more persudaded that there was no place in the profane world for the supernatural life. And yet, it was the later alone that counted: it alone. I suddenly received certainty, one morning, that a Christian convinced of a future beatitude, should not attach the least importance t oephermal things. how could hte majority of people accept to remain in the presnet world? The more I reflected, the more I was astonished, I concluded that, in any case, I would not imitate them: between the infite and hte finiste my choices were made: "I will enter a convent". I decided. The acitivites of the sisters of charity seemed to me to be entirely futile; there was no other reasonable occupation than to contemplate to the end of my days the glory of God. I would be a Carmilete, Memoirs of a Jeune Fille, 103-4)


for Beuvoir, Teresa's angency is expressed through her active and self concious sexual response to and desire for her lover, who is God. Beuvoir claims admiraiton for the intenseity of Teresa's faith, in which the absent object is mare present on the body. Unlike the hysteric, Tersa is "not hte slave of her nerves and her hormones: it is necessary, rather, to admire in her the intensity of a fatih that penetrates to the most intimate reions of her flesh" (DS II, 587; Second SEx, 747)
Unlike hte hysteric whose flesh is passively inscribed by her disorder, Tersa writes the body in the intensity of her mystical expereince. Yet despite her admiration for Teresa's faith, Beavoir insists that the value of mystical expereince lies not in the pleasure which which it is subjectively expereinced, but in the object influence it allows its subject to weirld. Beuvoir insists that in the absence of criteria for determeing the authenticity of mystical expereince (she will go futher and claim that mystical expereince cannot be genuine as there is no God, its value likes in its outcome. (129)

...The desire for (divinie wholeness plenititude and the exstantic anguish of hte realizaiton that one cannot be everything stand side by side in Angelas text. Bataille suggests, futhermore that these two conceptions of mysticiism can be found togehter throughout the Christian tradition. This possiblity leads ot the second, more difficult and more pressing formulation of our cquesiton. Why do these semmingly antitheticial expereinces so often emerge in such close proximity to each other. Lacan's Seminar XX: Encore suggests an answer to this quesiton. He describes two tendecnies in language; the first attempts to fix meaning by positing a transcedenal signifier. Understood to be seamlessly united with its singified the transcental signifier assures the stability of language. Yet there is another movement in langauge away from th estability of meaning; for Lcan argues that the transcendtal signifer is always, in fact, empty; its putative wholeness and fixity is an illusion that pyschoanalysis aims to expose. the very site meant to fix meaing becomes the place where it is destabilzed. He argues, even more pointedly, that significaiton--marked by the transcendtal signifer--becomes possible only because of this constituive instability. Hence mysticism, as a quest for the absoulate, for which would ensure meaning, stability, and being, encounters instead that which radicially destabilises subjectivty and meaning---mysticism seeks the tra nscental signifer but discovers the paradoxical interplay of presence and absence through which significaiton is mafe possible. Excstacay occurs in both moments (what Lacan refers to as phallic jouissance and the jousisance that goes beyond) and as he argues in the seminary, if this does not quite make for two Gods, nor does it make for one alone" (149)

The doubless not God is the source of the doubleness of mystiricsim. The split subject sesires an other through which it might become whole, and it conflates that desire wit hthe very operaiton of language through which subjects are constutited as split and other than themselves. Mysticism and pyschoanlaysis after an absoulate other through which it might be fufilled. Yet this unstintiny quest for the abouslate exposes the subjects own lack and the always absent and unattaniable other throug hwhcih it is brought into existeince. Christians, like the pyschoanalysis, Lacan argues, "are horroried by what was revealed to them"; thus the suffering soul exposed by baroque excesses always attempts to cover over its theft of being and the lack from which its ecstatic anguish emerges (Exrits, 103, Seminar Xx, 114) . In the same way, the pretenstions of pyschoanalysis to sciefitic status are both an ineluctable movement toward oneness and fixed meaning and an evasion of hte real. (164)

To avoid the confusion and rancor that have surrounded the debates around essential-ism and to increase the precision of the discussions about Irigaray, the issue might usefully be recast in terms of sexual difference. Thus many feminist theories agree that those identified as "women" within a given culture can be and in fact routinely are differentiated form those defined as "men" (although it is not at all clear, cross-culturally, that these are the only options.) However, how femininity and masculinity are inculcated and lived is not only historically variable, but also intertwined with other differences, salient within any particular culture. In the contemporary United States, race, ethnicity, sexuality, and class are particularly conspicuous and powerful features of subjectivity... (191)

The passages mimed by Irigray concern the expereince sculpted by Bernini, ones thus judged amenable to representation (and, no doubt, attractive ot male viewers), Like Lacan, Irigaray intensfies the moment's visual and visionary quality, and so explodes it, for that which Irigaray names cannot be seen in the baroque excesses of Beriniini's statue. By reasserting the violence of Teresa's expereince, and by emphasizing the site of the transverberaiton as the viscera (stomach or womb) rather than the heart (Teresa describes the arrow as pericing the heart so deeply it reaches into her entrails and pulls them out, Irigary upsets the excesses to the improper entrails of the saint. Teresa's insides literally create her interority as other than and unrepresentable (by man) (202)

Let us pray to god, so that we can be free of God. Miester Eckhart

Sunday, January 15, 2012

monks table

cobb salad and 4 ciders.

rachel, erik, tom, dan, wendy, jim, ray, colleen, john, me.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

vintage nasa photos

one of the ideas that is sort of central to post modernism, is the idea that the embodied self (and by extension the end of medivialism and the beginning of enlightenment) begins with the dissection of human subjects---medieval folks didn't dissect human beings. Katherine Polk's new book makes a solid arguement that they did, and because they did, our idea of history has changed.

leroy gannis's candids are better maybe than his typical surf shots, i love the one of the three guys, one in glasses, and a broken board.


Bollywood style Havila Nagila.

i need to see tree of life again though it will lose some of it's magic being on the small screen--this anceient essay by alex ross on it's music is one of the reasons why i want to

boing boing used my photo.


jinx monsoon does the drag version of ladies who lunch, and it is exquisite!


great interview with van dyke parkes on the occasion of his new singles colleciton, and the reissue of arrangements.

Ville Hara's modular garden units, in four parts, sold in helesinki.

this sloane crosley essay on xmas in the suburbs has all of the boredom and ennui i remember but little of the isolation. funny though .


Ganymede in Space, 1959.

photos of 80s SF con. (i miss this ersatz home made look)

Thursday, January 05, 2012

at the aga today, saw a show on 19th century french fotos, mostly good but one perfect atget, of a rigious 18th century garden, empty of people, perfect conincal conifers--like something out of marienbad.

Monday, January 02, 2012

eleven goals for 2011

1) maintain a 3.4 or higher GPA, with help from tutors, etc.

yep.

2) continue with autitiscats, including finding places, dont let dave deal w all the email)

didn;t happen, though i worked really hard on it, sometimes things die when they are ready to

3) work harder on keeping money until the end of the month (including but not limited to eating out much less) (also, keep the credit card down)

got one credit card paid off, the next one is paid off regulalry, eat out much less, money is still a problem.

4) keep curating, making art, showing art and the like, plus writing (find funding for alaska, find a place for the gull lake project, apply to the residency in syracuse, research other grants and funding locations esp for travel), email st george the martyr, also set up website.

working through these still, had three or four shows, applied for three others.

5) research and start writing the western book, pitch one review or other peice a week.work on the essay for may for the integrity grant, start and keep working on a tumblor project like the 100/100.

tumblr failed, still working on research for the western book, pitching semi-regullary, though not once a week.

6) do at least two peices of major liturgical work (via negativa and pride liturgy, the forum,etc)

i preached three or four times this year, which most likely counts some what.

7) read prayerfully the psalms and think heavily about the nature of my faith

thought about the nature of my faith, though it mostly centered on realising reading the psalms were not part of it.

8) find some fun cardio heavy class once a week so you can get out of the house. (dodgeball, dancing?)

david r and are are going to play basketball in the new year.

9) muck out the old storage locker. yep

10) keep closer notes on which films i have seen this year.
yep.

11) one date a month
well, iain, counts no?
2012 goals:

a) finish thesis
b) find place to stay/granting/etc post may.
c) finish grad school apps for concordia, union, harvard, berkley
d) work on publications for disability, kurt, rachel
e) finish the frog piece
f) pitch tormorden mills peice
g) figure out alaska
h) boston conference
i) pay mom back.
j) pysch stuff
k) tooth stuff

Thursday, December 29, 2011

there is a line in the tim minchin song, white wine in the sun that talks about people who make you safe in the world, spent 6 hours with david and spencer today, moving, but also talking, smoking cigars, making small talk, dinner afterwards, i felt essentially safe. megan--spencer's wife, and rowan the kidlet was also there, and it felt a lot like family.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Top Albums
  1. Pistol Annies One of the smartest documents about capital in this age of economic dissatisfaction, profoundly feminist, and despite that as entertaining as we could have hoped for.
  2. Let England Shake, More Wilfred Owen than The War Horse, as England seems to have disappeared into a corrupt police state, and as the wars away from home and the wars at home seem inseparable, as we all seem unable to be pulled into something resembling order, Harvey returns with one of her best.
  3. Book Of Mormon OST As someone who grew up queer and Mormon, this one hit close to home. A broadway spectacle, that made money, telling people that God kicks them in the cunt, there is some subversion left.
  4. So Beautiful or So What--Paul Simon. This year's token rockist/boomer selection, like all the little hipsters, I am still drunk on his harmonies.
  5. Clams Casino Instrumental Mix Tape Atmospheric and lonely, one of the great documents of urban life. There could be a discussion about how digital culture changes music, or the distribution method, or about what exactly hip hop is, the text welcomes those conversations, but mostly it's just a beautifully isolating work about what it means to be in the city.
  6. Rhianna As Ann Powers notes for NPR, it's filthy, but blues and rock have always been filthy, and I love the r and b pull of a free and less anxious sexuality that suggests she has worked out some shit since the last time.
  7. Fucked Up, David... A narrative about Thatcherite England, it works well in concordance with PJ. The aggro vocals, the grinding power of the music, and the skill at making instrumental narratives, mean that you have to listen for the lyrtics, but the story telling is just bright.
  8. All Eternal Deck It's less tight and conceptual than he has been before, and the looseness works for the free ranging, culturally aware stores. Also, the Liza track is fantastic.
  9. Sulla Sulla Ilaiyaraaja We continue to live in this miraclous age, where it seems we can find collections of everything we ever wanted, or didn't even know was nessecary until this moment. This collection of the Kollywood's master, has pure funk and dramatic intrigue for every moment you could possibly want.
  10. This Might be My Last Time Singing. Black church congregation choirs would get money together, and record 45s, sometimes as a gift to the congregation, sometimes as a tool of evangelicalism, sometimes because the idea of an object brings permanence to something you are proud of. Mike McGonigal has been collecting African American Vernacular music for decades, and has put three CDs of it out of these 45s. The thing is, that he calls it raw, but the production values on these church songs are so tight, so well constructed, and so careful that I worry that having Raw on the packaging would preclude people from listening to the sophistication of the texts. These were choirs from Nashville, and Detroit, and LA, so at least some of them knew there way around a studio, and it shows.

Top Singles

  1. Lady Saw Matrimony--had one of the great lines this year: "matrionomy, cermony, testimony, alimony--take a hint it's all about the money"
  2. Pistol Annies Hell on Heels Unapologetic gold digging as a kind of female liberation has a long, long history--but nothing so charmingly constructed as this.
  3. Patrick Wolf House He moves adroitly between sexual decadence and domestic comfort, this track is so settled, so joyously happy. Queer domesticity, the after effects of the marriage, or choosing not to be married, is still considered to be exotic, and these "two boys together clinging" show that it is possible.
  4. Something About A Truck, Kip Moore I may be rating with my dick, but in this year where country decided boundaries and territories, this argument for localized pleasure got more fun with each listen.
  5. Adelle Rolling in Deep It's one of my rules, that if i hear it for most of the summer, and still love it, then it goes on the Pazz and Jop list. It's a bit polite, and lacks all grit or strum und drang, especially for a song about drowning, but it's so beautifully sung, and almost unique in it's phrasing--which seems odd to say for someone who has internalized 60s pastiche so completely.
  6. EMA California Atmospheric and angry, even the Dead Kennedys thought there were moments and histories worth saving, this one--an anthem for just letting the whole thing slide into the ocean. The inclusion of Camptown Races adds kerosene to the nightmare fuel.
  7. Big Freedia Almost Famous I am late on the bounce band wagon, but anything that encourages so systematically this amount of ass shaking, makes me happy.
  8. Azeillia Banks 212 Hip hop anthem to female superiority, and cunnilingus, fantastic flow, and delightful push into quite lovely singing. Plus it squeeks when it should.
  9. Wild Flag Romance Tight and quick, with a monster chorus---it's great to see craftsmen work at the top of their game, mostly for fun.
  10. Travis Garland and Jo Jo Paint. The smooth r and b, and the sexual strangeness is pure R. Kelly, but the beat gets in the way, in a way that adds to the mess of what is occuring; JoJo maintaining her own autonomy, which is different than a lot of R and B, the matching of choruses, of desires is appreciated--but where it gets really interesting is a bout a minute in, where electronic noise pushes out the vocals, and it mutates into a barely controlled chorus--it loses it's smoothness. Smart track.


Monday, November 28, 2011

john waters on bad taste

alan helen peterson is a fantastic academic from flordia. writing mostly about popular culture and the meta-contexts of Hollywood, though she is great on scandal, i think this might be her best essay--on how the ideal work of brad pitt is brad pitt playing a variety of brad pitt.

<,a href="http://www.eipcp.net/transversal/1011/butler/en">butler on private and public spaces, bodies, and the aesthetics of protest.

APTN is perhaps the best reporting on the state of emergency in Nothern Ontario.

8 photos of the Polin House, an early one by Lautner in the Hollywood Hills--look esp. for the brick work.

bloomberg reveals more details on the lacernous bank bail outs.



I have been writing about public and private discourse for my god and abuse course, and one of the things i have been thinking pretty hard, is the rhetorical power of not speaking--the eerie strangness of this video, sort of like mourning, something like disgust, nothing like the protest work you have heard--about the Chancellor of Davis going ot her car the day after violent police protest will be part of that essay.


http://www.trade-silver.net/reproductions.htm">Trade Silver was like Wampum for some Prarie nations. These affordable reproductions continue first nations craft, and history.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/what-makes-music-boring,65075/">great essay riffing on Nitsuh's New York Magazine column on Fiest and Wilco as new adult contempary artsits.


this might be the smoothest thing you have ever heard.

http://www.heatherrasmussen.com/index.php?/ongoing/destructconstruct-photographs/">Heather Rasmussen destructconstruction, is a set of photographs of cardboard models made of photographs of marine disasters featuring shipping containers. Hyper smart, well made, and just gorgeous--but also about the disaster of capitalism, in a round about way.


http://www.barrelhousemag.com/?p=1692">David Housley's difficult, episodic discussion of what is happening on the ground at State college in Penn after the sex abuse scandals, is just heavy and sad, must read but heavy and sad.

http://www.librarything.com/catalog/OWSLibrary">ows library pre police destruction.

http://www.good.is/post/what-women-want">James Deen as a sexual personae is kind of the opposite of James Dean as a sexual personae, even up to the point that Deen's fucking on film is less erotic than Dean's flirting on film--maybe because I don't find the women in mainstream straight porn hot--but his working on a kind of post-celeb, sex positive, female led fandom, and it's connection to some pretty severe SM has some interesting discussions about what porn means as a text. This profile in Good presents some of the issues.

http://www.joehoganbaskets.com/Contempory.aspx">Joe Hogan makes traditional irish willow baskets, but updates them--they are gorge.


Pan reprints of Highsmith Pulp, 1950s.


http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/mets/2011/11/source-mlb-adds-sexual-orientation-wording-to-cba">mlb adds sexual orinetation as a protected class--i think this would mean more to back end workers than players, but i wonder if it would help someone come out


http://www.folkways.si.edu/albumdetails.aspx?itemid=1123">smithonsian folkways recordings of office noises from the 60s.

http://www.onthemedia.org/2011/oct/14/real-and-unreal-professional-wrestling/">surpisingly in depth and fascnating history of the WWE and labour, starting with some current story lines about management and ending wiht a discussion about what it would mean for wrestlers to be uninozed as actors.

http://www.theprovince.com/news/Cops+watched+porn+skipped+work+instead+investigating+missing+women+Galliford/5752470/story.html#ixzz1eZ9Iom5w">sexual harrassment cases against officers who worked the trailer of tears cases, keeps bringing up pretty fucked up shit, this time it's a discussion of how some officers would look at porn on duty
Martin, Gratitude, 2001.

The most colourful of Martin's work.


Wednesday, November 09, 2011


Mastadon, Curl the Burl. Mostly, because i love the phrase Curl the Burl, thought the video is kind of amazing.

two sets of problems given to Moscow university students, about math. One for Jews and one for gentiles. The problems were easy, but how they were constructed in the jewish councils made the soultions nigh on impossible.

excellent article on Der Speigel about the problems of corruption in Vienna.

the national trust for historical perservation in the states makes a smart, and quite important arguement for the persevation of the modernist masterpeice phyllis wheately school in NoLA.

From November 9, 2011


From November 9, 2011


From November 9, 2011


Takuro Kuwata, Striped Cups, 2011, Cermaic. more of his work hereincluding some great crackling.

cops force sex workers to perform sexual ats, in Vancouver. Glad that the commission on missing women is happening, really realyl not suprised.

eric mcsaveney is a young vancouver painter, the seires inland, of smokey/foggy landscapes in vancouver--all green hills and grey outbuildings, takes the romantic long view about what is seen in contempaary architechture. Not sure if they are obvious or quite moving.


The FBI changed it's deft of Rape To: "“penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” which widens the previous deftion, from 1921, (the prev. deft excluded anything but stranger vaginal rape)

fantastic review of attack the block.

plainly dressed for all yr amish clothing needs.

a history of the log flume (ie the industrial site to get logs down river, not the amusement park ride that was inspired by it)


From November 9, 2011

From the Dublin Tweed Ride.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

About Aldean's Tattoos on This Town

Rural pyschogeography, might be deeper, and less tangible, less
ability to be transfered through the action of a flanuer, or through
those who seek to control the flanuer, because the relationships are
interwoven, deeper--i think because the size requires an interrelation
and a depletion of inter-relation to function completely. So less of a
drawing on the city and more of a mark, less decay and more
repair--this permanentness leads to a trapping and a desire to escape,
which country has written about, but also a seeking to further the
history. One of the things that leftist discourse around class around
the Occupy Wall-street, and much earlier--is they fail to realize how
traumatic the economies dissolving of farm and small town ties can
be--how deep that landscape is. I think one of the reasons for the
recent influx of taxonomic texts in Nashville about the south
(anything from the Pistol Annie's Boys from the South to Justin
Moore's Small Town USA to Easton Corbin's Small Town USA to to Miranda
Lambert's Famous in a Small Town to Eric Church's Homeboy to Little
Big Town's Boondocks to Luke Bryan's Country Girl, Shake it for Me, to
Blake Shelton's Good Ol' Boys...and all of these w/i the last year) ,
is an oblique way of working through what the eventual dissolution of
this way of life would look like--there are some explicit works, but
the side eyed gaze to the marks of location on people function better.
Aldean has done better songs about this (and actually his best songs
are slightly nostalgic marks of lived pleasure, which is a different
kind of emergency, and often those songs conflate genre with
geography; the rock and roll of Hicktown, the hip hop choruses of
Dirt Road Anthem, etc) and so the genre purity of this and the lack of
pleasure, or anything really prescriptive, has hints of already giving
up--which is actually sort of terrifying. I am not sure that this is a
good song, but it is an important song. And that matters, more then
the problems I could point out with this track--the guitar is a little
flat, the vocals are not as adventurous, the lyrics don't have the
details that he and his song writers excel at--and one doesn't want to
over emphasize absence as presence. It is smack in the middle of a
geographic and cultural shift that is continually being recorded--and
this records it slightly better then others, not not nearly as well as
his best work. Does that make it a 5?

Side Question--Are there more men hoeing this row, and if so, what
does that mean?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

gary winogrand is one of the photographers i model my career after. he
died young, about 53. he moved from ny to la for a bunch of reasons,
and the move didnt really pan out, and he ended up shooting for the
sake of shooting--at the end of his life, he left tens of thousands of
contact sheets unprinted, and even more rolls of film unprocessed.
this, you might now. i was reading andy grundberg's review of a 1983
moma retrospective, and he had this one line about winogrand unlike
pedestraian New York, Los Angelses street life takes place in cars,
and many of the pictures Winogrand mad there were taken from the front
seat on an automobile" (81)--which reminded me of a number of things,
about class, about poverty, about the nature of walking, etc et al,
even about the movie drive...

anda then i got to the next line: "In some, he seems to be driving" crisis of the real, ggrundberg)

which might be the perfect metaphor for the self destructive need that
LA positions in it's creative classes, to be shooting while driving.

that seems an improbability.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.” – pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle’s Mars Hill Church,

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

maggie had this on her bookshelf, and i am working through it: and was going to mention it to Rev Joesph Walker as he is an anglican priest who had a kid who had downs. in the midst of the email, i looked at his blog for the first time in a few months, and he died of cancer in august--really young with 6 kids.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

i went to a disco inside the stockholm school of economics

edward o, who is in stockholm right now

Sunday, October 02, 2011

http://youtu.be/XqWEPwuIYtA

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Depression is a medical fact. It is a pathology determined by doctors, and by a medical establishment, and it is away from any self-identification. To be depressed is to fit a very specific set of criteria—criteria that come from hiercahlised taxonomy of medicine and not from any other field of human endeavor that could give us clues to how we are feeling, or how we construct identities around those feelings. One is depressed, not because of spiritual ennui, or political dissatisfaction, or alienation from the world, or exhaustion and mourning at the state of the world. All of those reasons had a history in the west—and more specific reasons too. The medical language, being triumphant, shut its doors, and only allowed a set of language and identity that would reinforce its power, and the legitimacy of its construction

There is only one depression—depression that one might feel, the DSM suggests that “depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). But this sadness and emptiness—these feelings of being apart from the world, must be confirmed by an authority. There is little respect for self-definitions, for identities that are not confirmed by an identified outside.

If we think of people—and this might be a modernist fallacy, but it is a modernist fallacy that has been held as a chief value of our culture---as capable of making identity constructions for themselves, to determine how their moods work in concert to themselves and their larger identities—then low mood, or sadness, or emptiness, might be the pathologizing depression, or might be something else. Those low moods might be vital to an understanding of self, or to a larger understanding of how the world works. In the DSM mode, those low moods can be nothing but a disease. Once we entire the world of medicine, we enter this dialectic of that which must be cured and that which must be eliminated—regardless of how that curing or elimination might prove to be valuable, or if not valuable, at least autonomous.

This is obviously a Foccualdian tack, about how the authority of self-construction is lost in where observation occurs—the observation of the prison or the school or the clinic. The clinic - constantly praised for its empiricism, the modesty of its attention, and the care with which it silently lets things surface to the observing gaze without disturbing them with discourse - owes its real importance to the fact that it is a reorganization in depth, not only of medical discourse, but of the very possibility of a discourse about disease.1

For Foucault, the observing is not an act of simple reportage—it is an act of seeing—that makes discourse that might unsettle, or problematize or unsurface previously unknown depths. The fear of reorganization is the fear of finding a self, that might result in a scuppering completely a system of observed and observing. The more aware that the clinic is of this, the more the clinic works to preserve its own order—pyscho-analysis gives its power to the bio-medical, the bio-medical forgets it's beginnings as a psychoanalytic place. This repressing history through a politicized looking that denies the power of the individual to remake themselves in their own image, suggests the creation of an archive that evades identification.

To refuse this evasion, is to seek solutions in historical seeing, and observable history—it is to do the discourse without the permission of the clinic—but also to recognize which histories the clinics have repressed. In Foucault’s ideas of archives, it is not libraries, texts and books that are easily found, but a set of discourses that move around, that are never in the same place, that contain texts, but texts defined as bodies, as desires, as history, as memory, as the marginalia of lived experiences. It is an either/or not a but/and way of looking through the world. So, looking through the history of depression, and finding its history through these Focculadian visions and archives, the question becomes what other spaces and what other histories exist that allow us to examine what depression could be, without attempting to eliminate it or without having the medical establishment define what should be a personal seeking of narrative and understanding.

The question then becomes, what other ways of looking at depression have existed. Using the lens of a theologian, what words have used in a religious context to explain this set of moods and experiences. The one that seems to be the most common is melancholia. Melancholia is not strictly depression—it exists before both bio-medical and pyscho-analytic work on hierarchy and taxonomy. It is best defined against taxonomic forms. Two writers have attempted to work through though explaining what melancholy was—and historically recruiting them to help us define depression outside of the failures of 20th century models. One of these models is exterior—his attempts to find what melancholy is works like black ink through clear water. The other model is interior—her attempts to find what melancholy is, is a delicate set of internal negotiations, where the inner components of humanity carbonize into shards of crystalline sadness.

The first model is Robert Burton. Anglican Priest, Calvinist, and Academic—his eccentric document: Anatomy of Melancholy, written in 1621, is an anatomy in two senses. It is an academic anatomy—where a book is written as an attempted gloss on anything about a certain topic, functioning as a one topic encyclopedia. The second sense, is the one in which we are familiar with—anatomy as a discussion of the body. Burton’s work is a literal embodiment of flesh and understanding.

The second model, is Emily Dickinson, Poet, Calvinist, and falsely thought to be a recluse, her poetry written in American throughout the mid-19th century, is profoundly melancholic—it offers none of the definitions expected of Burton's work, but in the side long glances she was notorious for, discussed the interior life of the melancholic. These two writers, reclaimed for our own historical context, allow for wider and more self-directed definitions of what depression could be, or the use function of refusing the label depression and reclaiming that of the melancholic,
Melancholy had been previously defined as an excess of black bile—Burton positions this as the canonical ideal of how melancholy is achieved in the first book of his Anatomy: “HAVING thus briefly anatomized the body and soul of man; as a preparative to the rest, I may now freely proceed to treat of my intended object to most men's capacity, and after many ambages perspicuously define what this Melancholy is, shew his name and differences. The name is imposed from the matter, and disease denominated from the material cause, as Bruel observes, Melancholia, a sort of melaina {black) chole (choler), from black Choler. And whether it be a cause or an effect, a disease, or symptom let Donatus Altomarus and Salvianus decide, I will not contend about it. It hath several descriptions, notations, and definitions.”
Burton begins, and then with precedent, his sorting out what this melancholy is, must come from a history of naming, and a history of sorting. In this case, the language (melania) and the substance (the black Choler) historically combined to a number of factors—but each of these factors originated in an early, proto-materialism. The proof of melancholy was extended by the body, and the body’s failures were proof of the emotional mindset of melancholic identity. The anatomy then, that results from this introduction, was an investigative potential of the “several descriptions, notations, and definitions” The power of the black choler could be sorted through a taxonomic effort—a taxonomic effort that would later be recognized in Foucault’s history of both the clinic and the archive.
It must be recognized, though as a priest and a doctor, Burton uses the best science of his time, the science that is constructed here, is in the midst of a radical reinvention of the world. Burton’s Melancholy, in this passage, and elsewhere extends outwards—it is a construction that is marked by excess and exteriority. Too much writing, too much melancholy, too much thinking, and too much black choler all center not into one place, but in a miasma of emotion, text and history.

The changes of 17th century medicine, religion, and by extension religion, suggest that this excess perhaps could not be balanced either within a community, or within the larger understanding of the world at large. The tension in Burton—is between a melancholy, as defined as something that is interior, that settles into the marrow, and becomes part of the person, and a melancholy that can be defined as something that is a cloud of fine mist, sometimes settling more on one thing then the other, but through the air—a pollution, like smog or smoke.
Each of these, the marrow or the smoke, is a temporary notice of the imbalance of a personality—it does not suggest an identity, like modern ideas of depression, but it also does not suggest that the mood can be cured. The idea of being fixed—namely that the excessive miasma has grown to a solidity that can be settled into marrow, and the idea that this settling is inviolable, begins with Burton’s time, but the Anatomy is nervous about the idea of fixing. For a document that is supposed to be about creating a taxonomic, and air tight definition of what melancholy could be considered, the book is profoundly ambiguous about what fixing would look like.
The chief notable general fact about the Anatomy of Melancholy is not the exteriority of it, nor its excessive qualities, or its attempts to create one identity out of many, but how often it fails at being cohesive. Perhaps because Melancholy itself is not cohesive—which might mark the early modern from the late modern ,the idea of depression as cohesive, as a checklist, as an agreement on symptoms that can be battled through or suffered against. But in Burton’s early modern renderings, are about creating the encyclopedia of failures. Where one is unbalanced, and where that unbalance can perhaps extend, in a linguistic sense, into the world.
Burton’s attempt at marking the limits of melancholy, and his refusal to think of melancholy as just choleric, through the form of a taxonomic obsessiveness, eventually mark the failures of the encyclopedia itself. Nothing can be mapped in its entirety. There is a gap between the platonic ideal of information technologies form, and what becomes written itself—because perhaps of the nature of creation.
This lack of cohesiveness, and the mark of failure from a platonic whole, is an oddly comforting idea, and an idea that can be inherited from Burton’s Calvinism. The Calvinist idea that we are a totally depraved, and in that depravity we fall short from the glory of God in such a way that we are never able to fully understand him, any encyclopedic text is going to fail in the same complete ways. Burton’s textual failures at encompassing all of what melancholy could be, and his failures at making the work clean and quite comprehensive, is a textual mirroring of man’s attempt to gain understanding of the divine, and his or her failures to do so.
This mirroring can be made exterior in a really important way—we all fall short of the glory of god—and the recognizing of this failing short, is our first mark of humanity. We cannot know God, and that we fall short from His glory, is like the shame that Adam and Eve felt after they had feasted on the tree at the garden of Good and Evil. Burton’s ideas of melancholy come, not from an excess of Chloer, but from awareness, through a Calvinist lens, of his failures as a human. His humanism (as part of the encyclopedic project) and his devotion to a God, who might as well be absent, are foundational to an isolation, which suggests a kind of melancholy as de facto part of our humanness.
If Burton’s isolation is exterior—it marks human’s isolation from God, and towards an exterior attempt at recreating a kind of humanity—then his American Calvinist compatriot, does similar work, facing inwards.
Dickinson’s relationship to Calvin is obviously different than Burton’s—-there was a separation of geography, time, and of gender. Calvin had crossed the ocean, and settled by the time that Dickinson had inherited it resulting in the tension of absorption and rejection that exists within the text. Burton was the explorer working through the text, trying on new ideas, and never rejecting one. Dickinson’s rejection of ideas was a rejection of her Calvinist heritage, and her absorbing of ideas was a conscious choice of accepting what that Calvinism has taught her.
This sense, might explain the difference in the structures of Dickinson and Burton’s writing, and the problems of the structure might explain how melancholy becomes part of being. If Burton’s melancholy was about an exteriority, if it functioned like black ink in clear water—and if it was expressed by spreading, staining, and by being unable to be uncontained, than Dickinson’s melancholy functioned as an interiority—it was expressed by a clear and focused selfhood---it’s containment pressed down and shattered inward.
This shattering inward could be seen as similar to Burton’s realization of his totally depraved state—but Dickinson’s dissent was constructed at a time, when engagement with the proper praxis of theological life would alleviate this depravity. Moving away from the puritan understanding of the world, or at least allowing for a light to come in on the closed system of how the puritans understood the divine, would result in the intense separation of man from God that preachers had told puritans to avoid. It would be welcoming the isolation of total depravity.
Joanna Yin describes quite acutely of what occurs in this questioning and this pulling apart: “Instead of functioning as a mirror for external images of a culture that craves certainty, Dickinson concentrates on her inner self. The skeptical person shedding traditional means of religious consolation risks experiencing the horror of the unknown. Deprived of theological scaffolding, the questioning Puritan, like anyone attempting to examine a dominant ideology, can feel disoriented and ungrounded. When the speaker of P378 saw that "The Heavens were stitched," she "touched the Universe—// And back it slid—and I alone—/ A Speck upon a Ball—/ Went out upon Circumference —." These genealogical moments are terrifying to both the speaker and the reader. Yet because Dickinson creates as she deconstructs, she can often bridge or at least face the abyss that she uncovers.
The creation at the same time as the deconstructing does not only come from the creation of Dickinson’s poetry—though this was where here must formal approaches of working against religious consolation concurs, it must be carefully noted—that the interiority of Dickinson’s work was a formal concern –or at least the expression of Dickinson’s translation of melancholy forms, could be constructed as a formal exercise. The idea of Dickinson I n the popular imagination as a nun who refused human contact, a mad woman in white, or a new kind of American anchorite was never accurate, and became a misogynist way of dismissing her work. She lived in community. She wrote extensive correspondence to friends and family. This correspondence was as often about weighty matters as it was about quotidian details, about what she ate for lunch and about a note of theological forms. As well, even though her poetry often contained images of exclusion, and lack of desire—the constant editing, the sending works out through this correspondence, and the creating of small books, called fascicles, suggested that Dickinson intended to have this work as a public set of discourses.
In this sense, the privacy of the poetry, a poetry about using one’s melancholy as a tool to engage with a necessary separation from a fallen world worked at cross purposes with a set of written discourses that encouraged a full engagement with the world. The correspondence and the poetry constructed a series of ironic matrices, where melancholy decentralized community involvement, and community involvement decentralized melancholy. These matrices were not only found where correspondence and poetry met, but in the inter-textual heritage of Dickinson’s spiritual reading.
Burton was creating an encyclopedia, and so his inter-textual work was expected, and the excesses of his intertextual work resulted logically from the text itself. Dickinson’s inter-textuality, told through a set of dashes, of slant rhymes, of absences, and of inheriting forms, was not a direct writing on the body, but an oblique awareness of where she did not belong, even in the tradition of puritan wiring and plain speech.
The reader can see this most clearly in how she literally and symbolically rewrote hymn forms—sometimes explicit hymns them. In her tight, difficult study comparing the original Calvinist hymn writer Isaac Watts to Dickinson, Shira Wolosky talks about the purpose of Dickinson’s inter-textual emphasis on Watt’s texts: “A surprising number of Dickinson poems seem written in direct response to particular Watts’s hymns. Furthermore, Dickinson's relation to Watts is not simply parodic. The hymnal frame of so much Dickinson verse asserts a genuine and profound effort to accept doctrines that she cannot, however, help but question, leading her in turn to question her own doubts.” She then goes on to work through a few poems—talking about where Dickinson fits formally in the tradition birthed by Watts.
Wolosky points out that where Watts leaves hope, or at least the potential for liberation by faith in the Divine, Dickinson leaves little room for doubt. Dickinson’s ironic reversals of Watt’s conventional Calvinist piety are the work of a melancholic mind, who constructs narratives not of redemption, but of denial, exhaustion, work, and eventually the tomb. While Watt’s tells his followers to “gird themselves with the gospels armor”, Dickinson rewrites this to mark the absence of the divine: “Go slow, my soul, to feed thyself//upon his rare approach —“. For Watt’s this girding results in the triumphalism of God and his servants. For Dickinson, God’s rareness leads to “Go boldly — for thou paid'st his price/Redemption — for a Kiss —“
Dickinson’s melancholic world view—positioned against Watt’s optimism, suggests that believers in Christ are closer to Judas than they are to soldiers triumphant on a religious battlefield. Dickinson’s theological impetuous ends in bodily death, namely in the suicidal body of Judas and not the resurrected body of Christ. The melancholic force of her writing shares an attachment to the corporeality of Burton’s anatomies—but an anatomy that comes from close personal inspection, and through the first person voice—and a first person voice that was often domestic.
A reader can see the connection between bodily death, the domestic, and corruption/rot in poems as diverse as So I Could Not Stop for Death, where Dickinson and Death, riding in a carriage, note: “We paused before a house that seemed/A swelling of the ground;/The roof was scarcely visible,/The cornice but a mound.” – this interlacing of the domestic, of the visible, and the invisible, of death, and of life—of the swelling of a house best by a rot that would eventually engulf flesh—marks the obsession with gaps, and absences—that deny a presence in traditional catholic sacramentialism. There are others: “To fill a Gap/ Insert the Thing that caused it—//Block it up/With Other—and 'twill yawn the more—//You cannot solder an Abyss/With Air—; Where the personal fear of death—and of hell (the abyss) cannot be blocked, that the melancholy cannot cure melancholy, and that the desire for blockage and by extension wholeness cannot be found in traditional spaces.
Dickinson’s attempts at blockage, ad her acknowledgement of the abyss is profoundly different then Burton’s refusal to block anything. Dickinson’s death is about silence, waiting for death to come, and talking in small bits and quiet moments as a w ay of evading death—but death can never be fully evaded: “And so, as Kinsmen, met a Night –//We talked between the Rooms –//Until the Moss had reached our lips –//And covered up — our names –“ . Truth and Beauty are not sufficient enough to survive past the falling apart of the flesh—of nature to absorb the arrogance of human communication. The melancholic failure of communication as a way of evading death becomes a textual and personal way of working past the Calvinist ideas of total depravity—but just as Burton recognized that total depravity was a way of recognizing our own humanity—tiny and cowering against the expanse of an immobile God, then Dickinson recognizes the same kinds of awareness.
This is the use function of melancholy. It is not depression—as depression suggests something that can be readily cured, or that something should be cured. For Burton and for Dickinson melancholy is not depression. Melancholy is recognition of one’s inability to fully speak. Burton’s exterior attempts and failures to mark a full narrative of low mood succeeded in placing low mood in its proper spiritual place—low mood is not a medical condition, it is not a mark of the clinic, or the chapel, but of the human beings recognition of their minute place in a universe that is carelessly large. Dickinson’s recreating of her tradition, hymns, correspondence anti-sacramental nature of congregational practice brought her closer to her own interior nature, and her own closeness to death. The denial of the sublime, the swelling of the house that would contain her until her death, was all a blossoming of her place in the larger corpus of family, of town, of country—and of eventually world.
The interior, almost mystic, energy of Dickinson’s melancholy, and the exterior, anti-mystic energy of Burton’s melancholy both led to a place that talked quite sweetly about the absence of divine spirit, and of the necessity of living in the world, on its terms. To evade the clinic is to acknowledge the place for lowness and humility.

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