as part of the ect i had to get the beard off, so i did it after lunch today, at a place i feel comfortable, with someone i am fond of.

it;s funny, there is a lot about my beard that's important.

a) it is a mark of my break with the lds church
b) it is symbolic of my connection to the early lds church
c) it is about the shambolic, slightly chaotic way i go about my life
d) it is maybe a bit about my father
e) it is connected to a kind of working class tradition (though my beard is now absent to make it easier for a mask to be present, to deliver oxygen. real working class boys in alberta have goatees or mustaches
f) because in a round about way, i don;t like my chin and my cheeks, i look better when i am less round. i also think that hair, is soft, is multitextured, is pleasing tactilly. the stubble is rough.
g) which reminds me--and this is not to be discounted, the boys i like to fuck, and the boys who like to fuck me, are bearded. there is a boy right now in front of me, wiht a beard, who is sexy mostly for it, and the guy i saw on the subway on the way to meet spencer, and the guy who was selling records last week, hipster or no, beards are sexy.
h) i am less sexy, and have less strength with my beard because my beard holds my erotic power.