today was a microcosm of my life--one of those days that become everyday

the village voice gave me a pazz and jop poll (no money) and couldnt buy a peice because of space.
took the peice to todd on stylus who is publishing it on wednesday, and agreed to do that w/i 5 minutes.
chris is selling flim.com using my name--he put some fotos of mine up a while ago, in this forrest of indie poets
i worked for a few hours thinking out the anglican peice, which i will spec over to sojourners, who doesnt take pitches--but i have thot about it for weeks.

chuck eddy reads my blog, mark sinker reads my blog, momus reads my blog.

i have become a cult writer--and w/o fanzines and little magazines, w/o small critical magazines, because of the web, cult writers pay their own ticket. (reading hunter thompsons letter collection about his success and lack of post hells angels--and chasing money, begging money, theating, cajoling, seeking and giving sexual favours--this was w. evergree/ramparts/rolling stone/etc etc--there are no ramparts.

(i have received three invites in the last month to write though--one of which i will do and i have a book contract--no advance, no promotion budget, 2 year wait, agent taking chunk of royalties...)

another example:
i want to go to portland to see my monolouge (which has become strangely arty) premier, and there is no money to send me and i cannot afford to send myself

i feel on the verge of giving up but then something happens to push me off the edge--a nice word, a publication, a small cheque--i have made less then 1k in the last year and a half writing...

when do i give up.

2006 pazz and jop poll and this email from eddy about the chesney/keith peice.

i'll look this over, anthony (and enjoy it, i imagine), but given its lengthand the fact that it's about only two songs (which aren't even very new moreanymore), i can't imagine it would fit in the voice. i WISH it could, butthere's no way i'd be able to find room for it at this point!

c


see enjoy it, wish in all capitals--he likes me, no money yet--but ever so close.

http://www.nationalreview.com/dreher/dreher041102.asp
a pure red calf is blessed in israel, the second coming is upon us.
(read the article, its getting weird my brothers and sisters)

some notes in revesing a third draft

african xianity is as old as anything else--augustine grew up in hippo which is in the northern sudan, the copts were missiomized by paul...and anglican africans are older or as old as canadians. (as well, the idea of a core idenitiy called homosexual is 100 yrs olf;the idea of a core idenity called anglican is 500 years old; the core idenitity of something called african christian is 1700 years old; and the core identity of something called christian is 2000 yrs old--chronology actually usually trumps in these cases)

you cannot deny that imposing a western order of sexaul orientation (and violating the first concept of the anglican union--ie the seperation of primacies, and the decentralizing of authority is massive) and non religous folks keep thinking that how people interept the bible doesnt really matter and those poor homosexuals are more impt. then that)

and no one has said outloud that gene robinson is a grandstanding fool, griswold is an arrogant prick, robinson doesnt seem to understand the subjective natu re of sexuality and alonski(sp--the nigerian) tends towards petty biogtry.

also, we tend to forget--when using the same seven proof texts--that the idea of pair bonding and patriachy, is infused in he scirpute, it is deeply important and difficult tradtion--and one tha sustains and makes holy the idea of how a man and woman love each other--like a river thru the old and new testemant (ie christ said nothing about sexual ethics, but he did attend the wedding feast of canna and he did bless the wine; or abram and sarah;the consquences of bathsheba and the heart break of anselem; adam and eve and the adulterus serpent; the song of songs...)

where this leaves me as a queer, i havent figured out---the other half is actually styming me...

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/review.php?ID=2777
me
two people below said wtf, and i dont think its my strongest writing, but todd likes it and todd is willing to go to bat for me...so *shrug*.

jessa crispin said the same things over on bookslut.

http://ncronline.org/NCR_Online/archives2/2005a/022505/022505h.php

a long list of intellectuals that have been censured by the vatican for crossing the line, in
one way or the other, annoted w. exactly the crimes they committed.

http://ncronline.org/NCR_Online/archives2/2005a/022505/022505a.php

and a v. good article on father haight, his book jesus: symbol of god, the questions
of pluralism and the complications of postmodernism on heirachy and theology.
(read this one, it problematizes the issues on both sides really well)

it is the question tha will split the church, i think--postmodernism tolerance for
plurality and conserative requirements of obdience. (the pope will have a new
book out over the summer that apparently goes hardcore into the second--totally
blitzkreiging v2, which i think is ratzinger, esp. since hes been so sick and in/out
of hospitals for years.)

im sad and im tired.

http://alumnus.caltech.edu/~ejohnson/critics/cahiers.html
http://www.geocities.com/mattl66/cahierstop10_2004.html?1109294778395

i love the cahier d' cinema best of lists because their appropration of american culture is so random, it amuses me.
(though they gave us sam fuller and nicholas ray as worth seeing.)

my new agent sold the old book, no advance, 6 months to write the thing, up to 2 yrs wait on publication.

Hugh Nibleys daughter has released a memoir that accuses he father of ritualised sexual abuse...
most likely didnt happen, no accusation in the past has ever come to light that has been accurate...
but to write this book and release it suggests some v. weird stuff happening in the homes of the Nibley's

and then the garage doors opened and in trooped the marching band of Burlington, New Jersey, wearing navy blue uniforms and feathered shakos and producing on their instruments on a deafening version of happy birthday. they were followed, a few minutes later,, by a pair of white ponies pulling a car with a three tiered white cake, out of which popped a girl in a skimpy red bathing sui. Deitch had tried to get Jeff's friend Pamela Anderson for the cake duty, but she had to be at the Sundance Film Festival
Calvin Tomkins, New Yorker.
about koons bday party

http://www.eurasianet.org/departments/insight/articles/pp121604.shtml
what they call mutilporality, i call post nationalism--an interest tie in b/w spheres of influence, the declining dollar, the increased interventionist attitude in the present admin...etc. a decent (if too short and too simple read)

today my mom shit all over the floor of the bathroom and woke me up, so i could clean it--i did what i could, took her newspaper and other instruments of hygenine, took the garbage out, but i was retching and puking and i couldnt clean up her shit. after she had cleaned up mine.

its like i should be able to empty her commode, and i cannot get myself to do it.

i shouldnt be blogging this and i will erase it in the morning.

sometimes pretty things happen everywhere:sometimes we have to be reminded of this.
http://www.artnet.com/artwork_images/911/128499.jpgbathroom stall coat hangers from los alomas
http://www.artnet.com/artwork_images/230/70523.jpgmemphis
http://www.artnet.com/artwork_images/911/128248.jpgwhite car, brick wall from the 14 pictures series
http://www.artnet.com/artwork/424028943/_William_Eggleston_Untitled_25_cents_spun_candy_from_the_Los_Alamos_Portfolio_67.html25 cents spun candy

Of course, “The Gates” is art, because what else would it be? Art used to
mean paintings and statues. Now it means practically anything human-made that is
unclassifiable otherwise. This loss of a commonsense definition is a big
art-critical problem, but not in Central Park, not this week.

Peter Schadejael in this weeks new yorker, in realtion to the gates.

What I said on ILX:

i think he is right about the biggest art critical problem right now is the quesiton of defitions, the one that most people are trying to sort (return of the real by foster; hickeys dragon book, etc) and i dont know why he should be fired for saying so---in fact i said something similar wrt ruscha in brown wedge a while back.
that said i think whats really exciting in new york this month is what i have heard to be an amazing twombly works on paper retrospective at the whitney.
i also find it really interesting that the christos do not think of their work as conceptual---there is something to be said of the cult of the object in their work, and there v. obv connections to old fashioned ideas of craft (esp. the drawings)

http://yaleglobal.yale.edu/display.article?id=5190
evanglical xians pretend to be relief workers and are
really missionaries.

there are actually two scales, dr stone from new yorks is slightly less fucked up--though the taxonomies are still insaely overlysimplified.

and the anglicans are getting together in newry, northern island in a conference that is a progress reoport to the one that took place in windsor--it looks like we are geing closer and closer to the wonders of schism. the torygraph are reporting that the libeals and the conseratives are not willing to take communion together--jesus, in all Her mercy, if you are unwilling to share the one meal that makes you both xians, thats the end of it, thats basically saying these people are not xians.

there is also some really weird politics, knowing how much the nigerioan aikanola hated the american griswold, the conference invited griswold to deliver the last homily...a clear fuck you if there ever was one.
(and really griswold is nearing heresey, or would be in a stricter church, he has explicitly and on purpose violted the standards of the windsor commitee.) (he would be out on his ass in the vatican, way before this for one)

that isnt to say that hersey isnt sometimes nessc. the anglicans were founded on it.

american shrinks now have a depravity scale, where you can determine how evil someone is, how fucked up is that--a little quiz, a number and that number corresponds to sentencing--no discussions to the why or how or when--no heavy discussions about race or class or gender---cause everyone knows a quiz is an accurate accounting of everything possible (st peter at the golden gates giving out mmpis, nope sorry you answered questions 3, 5, and 7 wrong--say hi to the borgias when you head down south)

the most fucked up thing is (and this makes me sick and laugh at the same time) its being used to give people the death penalty--can you imagine
ok 5 points for rape, and 6 points for murder, but we subtract 2 because it was a crime of passion--thats a total of 9, just missed the needle.

(speaking of the death penalty---do you know that you are frozen but still feel pain when you take the drugs mentioned in lethal injection--you cannot communicate how you are feeling but you are feeling it--if that isnt a metaphor of the american jursipeance.)

or as raymond says: i know its about sola scriptura, but could it be possible that they just hated fags

6 parishes in the united states have relaigned themselves from american primates
to primates in brazil and nigeria for poltical issues---which kind of blasts the idea of
primates determinging there own orders out of the water

(they hate fags so much that a parish in california would sooner take notice from a parish
in nigeria...bizzarre)