a bunch of people i dont know upstairs, me downstairs listening to momus. they are rich, absuredly rich, yuppies, more money spent on one gift to a cousin then i spent on all of my family. i feel like shit, i dont belong here, this is not me. im ugly and poor and tired of all of this fake jovailty. i hate christmas, i do not like my family. all i want to do is get drunk, furthering my trip to oblivion. i have had heard 5 or 6 homophobic comments in the last three days and hadnt said a word.

this is supposed to be about the birth of christ, but there is nothing religous here, a post modern christmas, done b/c it is expected. a pagan cermony to consumerism and excess. at least the booze is good and free.