spending time with pat, even if i did most of the talking, and even if some of it was in the fort, was really needed and really relaxing, he got me wonderwomen and the 5 disc astroboy set...
i dont even remember all of what we talked about, art and politics and love and small towns and female country...
we both agreed that munich was the first speilberg we were looking forward to in years, and mostly b/c of tony kushner's script (owen gleiberman points out that it is the least optomistic, darkest, and most willing to go into the minds of terrorists, of anything that ss has done as well--the moral ambiguity of idealists is one of kushners main themes...)
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
a couple of days ago, i got into a screaming match, and im being charged with assualt.
im reading the police report, and i dont know whos at fault. and its a queer thing. guy (kid, though he looked older) wearing a straight pride t shirt, me telling him that was fucking offensive, and they said, they told me to drop it, to leave it alone, but i dont remember that--at all. i remember him keeping picking the fight, me leaving, and then going back and this screaming match happenign 4 or 5 times, this tustle--but they kept saying i intestigated it.
and then, 5 or 6 people, the kid, his dad, his friends, at the end of it, surrounded me, and i pushed them out of the way, but the report says i was going for the face, i dont remember the fight, just pushing to get out of the way
im out of control of course, but how do i deal with this constant, ever present homophobia in this town, how do i work out being the only fag and being sane
im reading the police report, and i dont know whos at fault. and its a queer thing. guy (kid, though he looked older) wearing a straight pride t shirt, me telling him that was fucking offensive, and they said, they told me to drop it, to leave it alone, but i dont remember that--at all. i remember him keeping picking the fight, me leaving, and then going back and this screaming match happenign 4 or 5 times, this tustle--but they kept saying i intestigated it.
and then, 5 or 6 people, the kid, his dad, his friends, at the end of it, surrounded me, and i pushed them out of the way, but the report says i was going for the face, i dont remember the fight, just pushing to get out of the way
im out of control of course, but how do i deal with this constant, ever present homophobia in this town, how do i work out being the only fag and being sane
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
"twin high mantience machines"
jd
the mass of my body against t he clear glass of a commuter train window
strainging thru the dark to see
a train from the east, for freight:grain, chemicals, oil--
for a second, its not a race
the stronger holds its weight to the weaker
there is no rushing by
and i am between two trains,
i am pushing my body as far as it can
my belly feels the cold, and i have to back off
every so foten, clearing the window with my hand
the two trains together
and my body and the glass together
the commuter train stops
the freight train rushes to
the orange slag that crowns
georgian and english bays
my body moves on its own accord
down the steps and out the door
in the subterranina darkness
i hear the train, the sarnia to vancouver,
rumbling over me
i am deep below the water
drowning in the slag and filth
the grain pours over me
i rest in the concrete
till the train moves past me
walking out of the doors
up the stairs
climb on a bus
home
jd
the mass of my body against t he clear glass of a commuter train window
strainging thru the dark to see
a train from the east, for freight:grain, chemicals, oil--
for a second, its not a race
the stronger holds its weight to the weaker
there is no rushing by
and i am between two trains,
i am pushing my body as far as it can
my belly feels the cold, and i have to back off
every so foten, clearing the window with my hand
the two trains together
and my body and the glass together
the commuter train stops
the freight train rushes to
the orange slag that crowns
georgian and english bays
my body moves on its own accord
down the steps and out the door
in the subterranina darkness
i hear the train, the sarnia to vancouver,
rumbling over me
i am deep below the water
drowning in the slag and filth
the grain pours over me
i rest in the concrete
till the train moves past me
walking out of the doors
up the stairs
climb on a bus
home
Sunday, December 18, 2005
these thots were birthed by reading the shaker expereince in america by stephen stein,
shaker dances often looked like/were inspired by secular forms (ie the minuet, the sqaure dance, the line dance) this could be geographical--the barn dance and the shaker dancing (one shaker dance, first noted in the 1830s was called the square order shuffle--mentioned in more secular s/dancing manuals, a century later) were both from england folk dancing, but as they became more formalised, they seemed more directly anglo...
this reminds me that even those caught in xtc often obey societal mores, i am reminded that the pentecostal tradtion, has several kinds of heavily ritualised movements that are repeated in seqeance (ie arms up over he head, palms extended, jumping up and down, being slain in the spirt, shaking and qauking) some of these movements are reminscent of the work of the shakers--but more indviulistic/less communal... (compare the 19th century social mores and codifed movement of american xtc with the 20th--using shakers and the Toronto Blessing as examples, when the xtc became too uncontrolled, uncodifed and strange for mainstream holly rolelrs, the blessing was considered evil and satanic.)
(also the first hymns, from Meachem until the Indiana congreations were wordless, ie speaking in tounges (how do we define words irt glossalia?) (meachem thot words would distract from the feelings of the meetings (meaning distracts from meaning--an experenice beyond langauge--but god is language, god is about the creation of speaking--(Jn 1:!) (one of the central issues, continually of this)
Meachem "(wordless songs) wean the belivers from that class of songs which they had formerly used and which was surcharged with a mixture of theological doctrines that could not be made to harmonize w. the testimony of the cross of christ" (from the intro to a fascimille of the 1908 canterbury hymnal. (connect dancing to wordless songs, and talk about the control of logos that makes catholics nervous of liturgical dance--this might be an entry to that rivarly)
when the hymn book was codifed, slightly after the history was written by the indianna meeting houses, was the start of elborate communal dances (strange though, because hymn books make this kind of dancing difficult, they had to find a way to do both, which might explain how these dances resembeled those already known (AA/Feild work too?)--which were atteneded by mocking spectators from as far away as boston or nyc
one wonders why the shakers would let in these gawkers--the shaker realtionship with evangelism is often complicated, alot of them connect to the quietest traditon, (they were at first called shaking quakers) and the evangelical life was less direct, however they did have an extensive history of missionary work--was this opening up an attempt at this, or was it a way to show how harmless this was, or was it an attempt at transperacy (e do nto hide yr light under a bushel)
the qaukers became less and less xtc, less and less connected to the english tradtions of radical protestantism, in america--it is almost as if the shakers took the place of the qaukers, there is a history there, a sort of mirroring of the mainstreaming b/w the two (do not assume a narrative exists when it does not)
the meeting houses, the services, etc, the hymn book, the history, et al--all of it had the langauge of work (from a fascimle of the v, late 1908 hymn book of CAnterbury NY (remember that the first hymnals were invented when indiana and other western shakers came from already established protestant tradtions (and musically "many of the tunes avoided awkard intervals by using a gapped scale, much like anglican-american folk music ix)--this hymn book was 30 yrs after that--so in many ways it is closer to the presby/baptist hymn books cribbed in the 1870s--much to meachems regret, so we have this narrative: fuck everyone else, crib it anyways, steal whole heardtely--im qauting the hymn book cause its easier to find qoutes in 10 pages then it is in 600)
the dances relate to farm work, they were formalizing and making aethetic the work they did outside (as is the traditon fo folk dancing)
Agrian Hymns (also realise that they called the sunday service "the work", something they never called the communal daily work):
Summer Land (49)
Sowing (74)
Christian Growth (84)
My Choice (108)
Sowing to the Spirt (114)
The Christ Work (129)
Best Gifts (160)
Endless Growth (171)
Thanksgiving (173)
Unclouded DAy (192)
Secuirty (193)
Cheif Delight (201)
Growth (208)
True Wealth (213)
The Vineyard (212)
The Harvest Home (218)
Commital (228)
Saftey (233)
Harvest Hymn (236)
Press On (243)
In The Valley (244)
To Do with This
SEe how the folk dancing tradtions of the Anglo-American Tradtion worked w/o religious
see the codifiaction(sp) of other movement
see how other hymns dealt w. themes of agrian work (#s)
tie this into hte hymn/xtc traditons of oneida/lds/?
work the tension b/w words and actions
see how conversion patterns worked in NH,Ky,NY, Mass., Ohio)
(there are several first person accounts of men actually getting hard and cumming in the middle of these dances, making literal the metaphar of sexual communion w. god, tie that in w. the lds/mother ann incarantioin of god stuff)
shaker dances often looked like/were inspired by secular forms (ie the minuet, the sqaure dance, the line dance) this could be geographical--the barn dance and the shaker dancing (one shaker dance, first noted in the 1830s was called the square order shuffle--mentioned in more secular s/dancing manuals, a century later) were both from england folk dancing, but as they became more formalised, they seemed more directly anglo...
this reminds me that even those caught in xtc often obey societal mores, i am reminded that the pentecostal tradtion, has several kinds of heavily ritualised movements that are repeated in seqeance (ie arms up over he head, palms extended, jumping up and down, being slain in the spirt, shaking and qauking) some of these movements are reminscent of the work of the shakers--but more indviulistic/less communal... (compare the 19th century social mores and codifed movement of american xtc with the 20th--using shakers and the Toronto Blessing as examples, when the xtc became too uncontrolled, uncodifed and strange for mainstream holly rolelrs, the blessing was considered evil and satanic.)
(also the first hymns, from Meachem until the Indiana congreations were wordless, ie speaking in tounges (how do we define words irt glossalia?) (meachem thot words would distract from the feelings of the meetings (meaning distracts from meaning--an experenice beyond langauge--but god is language, god is about the creation of speaking--(Jn 1:!) (one of the central issues, continually of this)
Meachem "(wordless songs) wean the belivers from that class of songs which they had formerly used and which was surcharged with a mixture of theological doctrines that could not be made to harmonize w. the testimony of the cross of christ" (from the intro to a fascimille of the 1908 canterbury hymnal. (connect dancing to wordless songs, and talk about the control of logos that makes catholics nervous of liturgical dance--this might be an entry to that rivarly)
when the hymn book was codifed, slightly after the history was written by the indianna meeting houses, was the start of elborate communal dances (strange though, because hymn books make this kind of dancing difficult, they had to find a way to do both, which might explain how these dances resembeled those already known (AA/Feild work too?)--which were atteneded by mocking spectators from as far away as boston or nyc
one wonders why the shakers would let in these gawkers--the shaker realtionship with evangelism is often complicated, alot of them connect to the quietest traditon, (they were at first called shaking quakers) and the evangelical life was less direct, however they did have an extensive history of missionary work--was this opening up an attempt at this, or was it a way to show how harmless this was, or was it an attempt at transperacy (e do nto hide yr light under a bushel)
the qaukers became less and less xtc, less and less connected to the english tradtions of radical protestantism, in america--it is almost as if the shakers took the place of the qaukers, there is a history there, a sort of mirroring of the mainstreaming b/w the two (do not assume a narrative exists when it does not)
the meeting houses, the services, etc, the hymn book, the history, et al--all of it had the langauge of work (from a fascimle of the v, late 1908 hymn book of CAnterbury NY (remember that the first hymnals were invented when indiana and other western shakers came from already established protestant tradtions (and musically "many of the tunes avoided awkard intervals by using a gapped scale, much like anglican-american folk music ix)--this hymn book was 30 yrs after that--so in many ways it is closer to the presby/baptist hymn books cribbed in the 1870s--much to meachems regret, so we have this narrative: fuck everyone else, crib it anyways, steal whole heardtely--im qauting the hymn book cause its easier to find qoutes in 10 pages then it is in 600)
the dances relate to farm work, they were formalizing and making aethetic the work they did outside (as is the traditon fo folk dancing)
Agrian Hymns (also realise that they called the sunday service "the work", something they never called the communal daily work):
Summer Land (49)
Sowing (74)
Christian Growth (84)
My Choice (108)
Sowing to the Spirt (114)
The Christ Work (129)
Best Gifts (160)
Endless Growth (171)
Thanksgiving (173)
Unclouded DAy (192)
Secuirty (193)
Cheif Delight (201)
Growth (208)
True Wealth (213)
The Vineyard (212)
The Harvest Home (218)
Commital (228)
Saftey (233)
Harvest Hymn (236)
Press On (243)
In The Valley (244)
To Do with This
SEe how the folk dancing tradtions of the Anglo-American Tradtion worked w/o religious
see the codifiaction(sp) of other movement
see how other hymns dealt w. themes of agrian work (#s)
tie this into hte hymn/xtc traditons of oneida/lds/?
work the tension b/w words and actions
see how conversion patterns worked in NH,Ky,NY, Mass., Ohio)
(there are several first person accounts of men actually getting hard and cumming in the middle of these dances, making literal the metaphar of sexual communion w. god, tie that in w. the lds/mother ann incarantioin of god stuff)
Friday, December 16, 2005
works going okay, had a huge seizure wednesday, and have full shift tomorrow, depression back pretty hard.
Russ Minter is an English Boxer with whom I would like to fuck.
Kevin Mitchell is an english Boxer whom I would like to fuck.
big ny times on cooper design institute show on colour and fashion, D and Rachel should see the slide show.
Brilliant Salmon Rushdie Essay against purity
, and against the critics of a polyglot post nationalism--actually much sublter and calmer, with less wit then he manages, but much worth reading.
more blank an d banal modern photos, these ones with an industrial feeling and a really intresting rythymic sense--think Baltz wih colour.
Geoff sent this backgrounder on the australia situtaion which makes us realise that terortial space, of blocks and feet is often more powerful and more willing to be fought over then nation or race--what people assumed to be racial (and how can stripping 14 yr old muslim girls of their head scarves be anything but) and about gender (5000 drunken young men, shirtless and raw) is really about what it means to be australian, what it means to be part of one neighbourhood in sydneny--someplace geoff called the most segragated place in the world. the nation state dying, and immigrants coming and going, the politics of the invader and the invaded will be forefronted in hte next few years--esp. in post commonwealth nationstates who's idenity is unconnected to a national ethos, or whose national ethos is quickly becoming more and more liminal (canada, australia, great britian, south africa of course) (but alos those non commonwealth countries, who are wrestling with their colonial histories,and their racial subtexts (french/algeria; brazil; germany) if nationhood is not national, and is not ethnic, and is barely geographical, then what do you have left--city state block tribe, and tribes destroy each other quickly But sometimes there is hope here for example, muslims gaurding christan churches against violence on xmas
Russ Minter is an English Boxer with whom I would like to fuck. Kevin Mitchell is an english Boxer whom I would like to fuck. big ny times on cooper design institute show on colour and fashion, D and Rachel should see the slide show.
Brilliant Salmon Rushdie Essay against purity
, and against the critics of a polyglot post nationalism--actually much sublter and calmer, with less wit then he manages, but much worth reading.
more blank an d banal modern photos, these ones with an industrial feeling and a really intresting rythymic sense--think Baltz wih colour.
Geoff sent this backgrounder on the australia situtaion which makes us realise that terortial space, of blocks and feet is often more powerful and more willing to be fought over then nation or race--what people assumed to be racial (and how can stripping 14 yr old muslim girls of their head scarves be anything but) and about gender (5000 drunken young men, shirtless and raw) is really about what it means to be australian, what it means to be part of one neighbourhood in sydneny--someplace geoff called the most segragated place in the world. the nation state dying, and immigrants coming and going, the politics of the invader and the invaded will be forefronted in hte next few years--esp. in post commonwealth nationstates who's idenity is unconnected to a national ethos, or whose national ethos is quickly becoming more and more liminal (canada, australia, great britian, south africa of course) (but alos those non commonwealth countries, who are wrestling with their colonial histories,and their racial subtexts (french/algeria; brazil; germany) if nationhood is not national, and is not ethnic, and is barely geographical, then what do you have left--city state block tribe, and tribes destroy each other quickly But sometimes there is hope here for example, muslims gaurding christan churches against violence on xmas
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Friday, December 09, 2005
Link Time:
Giant Sloth by wildlife illustrater Carl Burell, who is doing some interesting things w. evoultion, here among other work
hard right jesus cataloge historically minded and attempting towards some weird gender thing with adventures for boys and beauty for girls...a really good shortcut to the nostalgia, history, heritage, racism and misogyny that underlies the american theocratic tendecies...
Cthullu Carols
Brooklyn Designer, thru hydrolauics makes dress inflate and deflate.
Conneticut returned a huge chunk of federal money for sex ed, b/c it was tied to abseteince education...
Willow Creek, amongst other mega churches, are closed for Xmas--sort of defeating the point, this qoute from the flak was useful though:
"If our target and our mission is to reach the unchurched, basically the people who don't go to church, how likely is it that they'll be going to church on Christmas morning?"
How do you think the community of belivers feed being ignored for the sexy possible covert, and if you have thousands coming to yr churche every week, how unchurched is it?
very nice, well constructed, mini prefab house, all that fit on a flat bed truck, and well designed only in australia though
Michelle Goldberg underlines the history of anti semitism in the war on christmas rhetoric.
Canadian connections to the CIA mystery flights, which Condi Rice gave a non denial denial to in germany this year...
CIA Terrorist training manual from Nicaruaga in the mid 80s, also comes in spanish. (maybe a fraud?)
Bull Dozer uncovering a mass grave in Beraka, Lebanon
Hartford Public Schools should stick dynamite up its cunt, fuck it, until it shits bullets...that would have cost me 309 bucks in Fines. story here
a huge R Crumb comic on Charlie Patton I have liked Crumb's polite stuff less and less, I miss his anti social taboo breaking, but this was tender and beautiful--i really like Patton too, and am glad for his revival.
Annie Prolux Interview Pick up this weeks new yorker for a reprint of her story Brokeback Mountain.
a bunch of streaming audio of English Poetry from BEauwolf to Walcott from Norton. and a whole bunch of Xmas Mashups...
Frontline Does Abortion talks largely about how abortion has become defacto illegal, with restricted access, and how Roe vs Wade, making it a states issues has basically condemed it, matched by a New Yorker story this week saying this stuff...
U.S. Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, a California Republican, resigned on Monday after pleading guilty to taking $2.4 million in bribes in exchange for help in securing Defense Department contracts. from here The Christian Sci. Monitor writes about it in larger context
a female GI writes about female GIs for an article in the US Miltary NEwspaper, pretty fucking trechant...should i be reading Stars and Stripes?
a take down of freaknomics suppostion that abortion reduces crime rate
Giant Sloth by wildlife illustrater Carl Burell, who is doing some interesting things w. evoultion, here among other work
hard right jesus cataloge historically minded and attempting towards some weird gender thing with adventures for boys and beauty for girls...a really good shortcut to the nostalgia, history, heritage, racism and misogyny that underlies the american theocratic tendecies...
Cthullu Carols
Brooklyn Designer, thru hydrolauics makes dress inflate and deflate.
Conneticut returned a huge chunk of federal money for sex ed, b/c it was tied to abseteince education...
Willow Creek, amongst other mega churches, are closed for Xmas--sort of defeating the point, this qoute from the flak was useful though:
"If our target and our mission is to reach the unchurched, basically the people who don't go to church, how likely is it that they'll be going to church on Christmas morning?"
How do you think the community of belivers feed being ignored for the sexy possible covert, and if you have thousands coming to yr churche every week, how unchurched is it?
very nice, well constructed, mini prefab house, all that fit on a flat bed truck, and well designed only in australia though
Michelle Goldberg underlines the history of anti semitism in the war on christmas rhetoric.
Canadian connections to the CIA mystery flights, which Condi Rice gave a non denial denial to in germany this year...
CIA Terrorist training manual from Nicaruaga in the mid 80s, also comes in spanish. (maybe a fraud?)
Bull Dozer uncovering a mass grave in Beraka, LebanonHartford Public Schools should stick dynamite up its cunt, fuck it, until it shits bullets...that would have cost me 309 bucks in Fines. story here
a huge R Crumb comic on Charlie Patton I have liked Crumb's polite stuff less and less, I miss his anti social taboo breaking, but this was tender and beautiful--i really like Patton too, and am glad for his revival.
Annie Prolux Interview Pick up this weeks new yorker for a reprint of her story Brokeback Mountain.
a bunch of streaming audio of English Poetry from BEauwolf to Walcott from Norton. and a whole bunch of Xmas Mashups...
Frontline Does Abortion talks largely about how abortion has become defacto illegal, with restricted access, and how Roe vs Wade, making it a states issues has basically condemed it, matched by a New Yorker story this week saying this stuff...
U.S. Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, a California Republican, resigned on Monday after pleading guilty to taking $2.4 million in bribes in exchange for help in securing Defense Department contracts. from here The Christian Sci. Monitor writes about it in larger context
a female GI writes about female GIs for an article in the US Miltary NEwspaper, pretty fucking trechant...should i be reading Stars and Stripes?
a take down of freaknomics suppostion that abortion reduces crime rate
Oh, that I could by any chemic art
To sperm convert my spirit and my heart,
That at one thrust I might my soul translate
And in the womb myself regenerate!
There steeped in lust nine months I would remain,
Then boldly fuck my passage back again.
John Wilmot
Anthony Lane qoutes this in his review of the new Rochester biopic The Libertine. He wrote it at 14, or it was attributed to him (it must be remembered that every poem that mentions fucking that sort of lines up w. JW is claimed to him) The thing is, it is astonishing in its pornography, that is a give in, but there is somethng else.
i argued with lisa a few months back, that although his reputation as a libertine is well deserved, his work in the caroline theologic tradtition has been lost. i dont mean the few poems he made as a catholic sick w. the pox, i dont think he wrote those...i mean things like this.
this is like Donne or Suckling or the other carolines--working thru issues of coperality and incarnation. Where does humanity begin, where does god come in wrt sexuality...
in Rochester, the sexual act is an act of commune, literally--the act of sperm into vulva is an act of baptism, consceration, conversion...its a radical position to take.
i am reminded of the poem that he wrote about three people fucking--a man in the front and a man in the back, a woman in the middle...
the trinity, of course, but direct communication is not possible, the only way for intimacy is thru a third, an intereventionist god and an interventionsit sexauilty.
all of this sounds almost like a piss take, a way to be blashpemous, a critical reaction against god, and there has been people writing about rochester, who believe that (and the only way to be really blasphemous is to belive enough in the power of what one is destroying) but seeing this slight small poem, up front there seems to be something larger...
To sperm convert my spirit and my heart,
That at one thrust I might my soul translate
And in the womb myself regenerate!
There steeped in lust nine months I would remain,
Then boldly fuck my passage back again.
John Wilmot
Anthony Lane qoutes this in his review of the new Rochester biopic The Libertine. He wrote it at 14, or it was attributed to him (it must be remembered that every poem that mentions fucking that sort of lines up w. JW is claimed to him) The thing is, it is astonishing in its pornography, that is a give in, but there is somethng else.
i argued with lisa a few months back, that although his reputation as a libertine is well deserved, his work in the caroline theologic tradtition has been lost. i dont mean the few poems he made as a catholic sick w. the pox, i dont think he wrote those...i mean things like this.
this is like Donne or Suckling or the other carolines--working thru issues of coperality and incarnation. Where does humanity begin, where does god come in wrt sexuality...
in Rochester, the sexual act is an act of commune, literally--the act of sperm into vulva is an act of baptism, consceration, conversion...its a radical position to take.
i am reminded of the poem that he wrote about three people fucking--a man in the front and a man in the back, a woman in the middle...
the trinity, of course, but direct communication is not possible, the only way for intimacy is thru a third, an intereventionist god and an interventionsit sexauilty.
all of this sounds almost like a piss take, a way to be blashpemous, a critical reaction against god, and there has been people writing about rochester, who believe that (and the only way to be really blasphemous is to belive enough in the power of what one is destroying) but seeing this slight small poem, up front there seems to be something larger...
Thursday, December 08, 2005
1.
Martha Wainwright
Bloody Motherfucking Asshole
Zoe
10
2.
M.I.A
Arular
XL/Beggars
10
3.
Gogol Bordello
Gypsy Punks
Side One Dummy
10
4.
Earwhigs
Earwhigs
Not Signed
10
5.
Cowboy Troy
Loco Motive
Warner Brother/Wea
10
6.
Brad Paisley
Time Well Wasted
Arista
10
7.
Neko Case
The Tigers Have Spoken
Chocolate Industries
10
8.
Lee Ann Womack
There's More Where That Came From
MCA:Nashville
10
9.
Annie
Anniemal
Big Beat/Ada
10
10.
The Veronicas
The Secret Life of The Veronicas
Sire
10
1.
Will Young
Switch It On
Sony BMG
2.
Daddy Yankee
Gasolina
Vi Music
3.
Vitalic
You Prefer Cocaine
Play It Again Sam
4.
Madonna
Hung Up
Warner/Maverick
5.
Arctic Monkeys
Bigger Girls and Stolen Sweethears
Dominos
6.
Kayne West
Golddigger
Roc-a-Fella
7.
Crazy Frog
Axel F
?
8.
Lee Ann Womack
20 years and Two Husbands Ago
MCA:Nashville
9.
Jessica Simpson
These Boots were Made For Walking
Warner
10.
The Mountain Goats
This Year
4AD/ADA
Martha Wainwright
Bloody Motherfucking Asshole
Zoe
10
2.
M.I.A
Arular
XL/Beggars
10
3.
Gogol Bordello
Gypsy Punks
Side One Dummy
10
4.
Earwhigs
Earwhigs
Not Signed
10
5.
Cowboy Troy
Loco Motive
Warner Brother/Wea
10
6.
Brad Paisley
Time Well Wasted
Arista
10
7.
Neko Case
The Tigers Have Spoken
Chocolate Industries
10
8.
Lee Ann Womack
There's More Where That Came From
MCA:Nashville
10
9.
Annie
Anniemal
Big Beat/Ada
10
10.
The Veronicas
The Secret Life of The Veronicas
Sire
10
1.
Will Young
Switch It On
Sony BMG
2.
Daddy Yankee
Gasolina
Vi Music
3.
Vitalic
You Prefer Cocaine
Play It Again Sam
4.
Madonna
Hung Up
Warner/Maverick
5.
Arctic Monkeys
Bigger Girls and Stolen Sweethears
Dominos
6.
Kayne West
Golddigger
Roc-a-Fella
7.
Crazy Frog
Axel F
?
8.
Lee Ann Womack
20 years and Two Husbands Ago
MCA:Nashville
9.
Jessica Simpson
These Boots were Made For Walking
Warner
10.
The Mountain Goats
This Year
4AD/ADA
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
about the american family assoc. forcing ford to pull fag ads
most fags dont tend to drive fords, who does drive fords are cowboys (ie trucks) esp. gay cowboys. ford used to be one of the biggest sponsers of purses in internationa gay rodeo assoc. . igra jsut got attached to the feeder system for larger regional rodeos, which connect to cheyenne, the stampede, the Canadian Final Rodeo, and The National Rodeo in Vegas. One of the big reasons why they got into the feeder system was b/c of the larger purses, among other reasons.
now cowboys dont tend to be as conserative as other people, or they tend to be more strange in their conserativeness--basically it ties into doing the job, if you can rope a calf or ride a bull, then yr in, no matter who you fuck. they also dont tend to like people who mess with other peoples buisness. cowboys arent paying the AFA to be homophobic, and they really want the best boys...
what im saying is that this pisses me off about this, is that the igra might lose regional feeder status, which means poor rodeo.
most fags dont tend to drive fords, who does drive fords are cowboys (ie trucks) esp. gay cowboys. ford used to be one of the biggest sponsers of purses in internationa gay rodeo assoc. . igra jsut got attached to the feeder system for larger regional rodeos, which connect to cheyenne, the stampede, the Canadian Final Rodeo, and The National Rodeo in Vegas. One of the big reasons why they got into the feeder system was b/c of the larger purses, among other reasons.
now cowboys dont tend to be as conserative as other people, or they tend to be more strange in their conserativeness--basically it ties into doing the job, if you can rope a calf or ride a bull, then yr in, no matter who you fuck. they also dont tend to like people who mess with other peoples buisness. cowboys arent paying the AFA to be homophobic, and they really want the best boys...
what im saying is that this pisses me off about this, is that the igra might lose regional feeder status, which means poor rodeo.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
All of Novembers Goals Done!
Decembers:
Study for the ACT
Look for work in the Fort (at Fields, Staples, Mac's...)
Work on the maps for the book
pitch to stay free/spacing/others
send whole package to montreal.
call see/vue wrt music reviews
call journal about book reviews
finish notes for brokeback/Mr & Mrs Smith
work on aish (can i before the appt in Jan?)
track down janet cardiff
allyson mitchell/rachel/paul freeman/? show about animal transformative freudian fetish stuff
Decembers:
Study for the ACT
Look for work in the Fort (at Fields, Staples, Mac's...)
Work on the maps for the book
pitch to stay free/spacing/others
send whole package to montreal.
call see/vue wrt music reviews
call journal about book reviews
finish notes for brokeback/Mr & Mrs Smith
work on aish (can i before the appt in Jan?)
track down janet cardiff
allyson mitchell/rachel/paul freeman/? show about animal transformative freudian fetish stuff
glenys has a friend, a quaker, captured in iraq, i will link to a petetion or an address you can send email/mail as soon as i get it. please sign or write. these are qaukers, pacifists and believers in the order of the world, through civilised discussion...they tend toward being martyrs though. i hope to god that they are kept safe...
it is the 16th aniversary of the montreal massacre, where 45 female engineers were killed while attempting a university education. the right has noted over and over again that there are more women then men in classes lately. this is not true of sci and engineering, and even so==when i hear them say that i hear, "you dont belong here". the far end of that arguement is this fellow.
it is the 16th aniversary of the montreal massacre, where 45 female engineers were killed while attempting a university education. the right has noted over and over again that there are more women then men in classes lately. this is not true of sci and engineering, and even so==when i hear them say that i hear, "you dont belong here". the far end of that arguement is this fellow.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
thots on the wafer
i've been taking it about once a month now, the only thing ive been taking daily is wellbutrin, i used to take it 3x a week.
ive beeen struggling with its meaning--not the catholic protestant stuff, but the feelings in my heart when the man in the front slips it b/w my teeth
ive been feeling hate, i guess for a long time, and now, just resignation--that my marriage to christ is forever, adn the vatican is just pesky inlaws
the last time i took him into me, was in the hospital...it might have been a useful expriment...
terry on the phone cancelling his visit, and then a woman, eldery comes in, and terry says he will call back.
the wafer is thin and cellouse (celiacs are not allowed to be priests anymore--if its the body and blood of christ of course it shouldnt matter)
and it sticks, its hard to swallow, and i have a plastic cup of water with a lid and a straw (water into wine, you can attach the dots)
and the woman (!) (which means it was done at mass, which means her second blessing does soemthing else, which means jesus has been travelling three floors and an elevator) it, im half sitting, half laying, the tv is off, and tabloids are visible in the folds of sheets, i dont know if im dressed at this point but i think im in my pajamas (wal mart 10 bucks)
at mass, i look forward and try to guess exactly when the body of christ emerges into the host--but this was strange, the announcement for services, first mass and then catholic, my breakfast, a wellbutrin in a paper cup, then a little grey haired lady blessing and placing on my tounge. i wasnt supposed to eat before but i did, and the ward was me and a bunch of little old ladies, i was attached to a machine that recorded all, like the all seeing eye of god (the paschal mystery)
it all leant it self too neatly too language, meaning, important and portent messages of surrivleance and god...
when i got home, maybe a week or so, caught up on work, then sat, night--which in the calendar is sunday morning, i had a long conversaiton w. andrew, back from korea...and centered the circle, about any number of things...
one of the things we talked about was trans vs con. what it meant to take the eucharist..this is coming back to schillebeeckx again, of course...
as a catholic one is obligated to be trans, and its a neat lesson about the constent, literal renewal of christs presence, of gods flesh being everywhere, and its majestc in its mystery. i want to believe it, because i want to beleive in the first words of john, the word made flesh, it is the core of post structalism, i think, though p/s has no core, the idea that language is not an abstraction of a thing, but a thing itself--so the words that a priest utters are not symbolic but achemical, tin into gold, bread into flesh...
its though perhaps a convient symbolic arrangement, the lay and the priest, agreeing that symbols have this (literal) meaning in this context, for these reasons (some personal, some poltical, some historical, all real and all true) does that agreement push away the metaphor and what does that mean, what does it mean when something no longer becomes metyomical...
what happens then, as well, when the realtionship b/w the lay and the priest, falls apart, what happens when the priest does not act honourably in the sight of god, if the priest does not honour the words and actions of his conveant...what happens when the congression doesnt?
and what happens if the priest and hte congression ignore higher--if every priest in every parish can bring god every time the magic words are said, then why do we need anything else?
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
"Numerous questions, concerns and debates surround the dildo and whether it fits in lesbian sex (see Findlay 1999). Is it a penis substitute? Is it a male stand-in? Is it a phallus? Is it a fetish? Can it feel? Does it feel good to her? Is it erotic? Can it be castrated? Should I castrate it? Am I castrated? Do I have penis envy? Do I have phallus envy? Do I have a fetish? Do I want to be a man? Is this the only way to have active sex? Is it perverted? Am I a pervert? Do I look stupid wearing it? Should I read more Lacanian theory? Should I read a feminist's interpretation of Lacan? Should I castrate Lacan? Am I experiencing a form of castration just be reading Lacan? Should I be wearing the dildo while I read Lacan?"
- Heather Butler, '"What Do You Call a Lesbian with Long Fingers?": The Development of Lesbian and Dyke Pornography', in Porn Studies, ed. Linda Willams, Duke University Press, Durham and London 2004
- Heather Butler, '"What Do You Call a Lesbian with Long Fingers?": The Development of Lesbian and Dyke Pornography', in Porn Studies, ed. Linda Willams, Duke University Press, Durham and London 2004
link time
ten dead, 11 injured in iraq today
Mash Ups with Freddie Mecury and Fiddy. v. v. funny.
Charles Booth, the founder of the Salvation ARmy, took himself, his wife, and his followers, on walking tours thourghout london, noting levels of poverty--he also talked to any number of other people, some of whom had v. spec agendas (school teachers, beedles, government admin workers) You can get his map via the London Topographical Society, but it has not be digitalised until now v. impt. document for the history of cities, religion, and sociology.
dozens of v. v. eerie photos of giant ballons, by larminda me here genius!
Yale Uni Press architechtual study on Qaunset Huts (if you love me, you would buy me this for xmas)
Richard Jackson does cleaner, more precise, and therefore stranger glosses on the Disneyland orgies of people like Paul McCarthy ---more here with bears
Wal Mart Dance Party over Thanksgiving Weekend...video here
Gary Indiana writes perceptivley and hauntingly about the social and moral implications of Broke Back Mountain, in realtion to it as a melodrama, a problem film, like a filthy, butch Sirk. (I have been thinking of Sirk lately, because we have gotten TCM free lately, and there has been a bunch of them there--and the reading of these films is often about teh decortaive nature of them, whole essays about windows and fabric choices and costumes, and very little on how at the end yr heart swells, the world is turned right, the optisism in Sirks films, and the almost bohemian instance of a life lived against the grain as a good thing, Indiana places Brokeback in this Sirkian tradtion, but then talks about how he twists this, talks about how this against the grainess could be considered negative, violent, and dark (Ang Lee does this actually--cf Ice Storm, Eat Drink Man Woman and even The Hulk.)
Machinma is an open source video game engine that many people make movies from, mostly inconsquential--some french leftits make v. obv. agit prop wrt the riots there, but the deomocratazaton of it, and the video game aesthetics/mutablity works.
videos from kidnapped qauker also in Iraq
Worst Sex in Fiction awards Read the Updike
19th Century American, Painted on Ivory
Gaurdian on IGRA
ten dead, 11 injured in iraq today
Mash Ups with Freddie Mecury and Fiddy. v. v. funny.
Charles Booth, the founder of the Salvation ARmy, took himself, his wife, and his followers, on walking tours thourghout london, noting levels of poverty--he also talked to any number of other people, some of whom had v. spec agendas (school teachers, beedles, government admin workers) You can get his map via the London Topographical Society, but it has not be digitalised until now v. impt. document for the history of cities, religion, and sociology.
dozens of v. v. eerie photos of giant ballons, by larminda me here genius!
Yale Uni Press architechtual study on Qaunset Huts (if you love me, you would buy me this for xmas)
Richard Jackson does cleaner, more precise, and therefore stranger glosses on the Disneyland orgies of people like Paul McCarthy ---more here with bears
Wal Mart Dance Party over Thanksgiving Weekend...video here
Gary Indiana writes perceptivley and hauntingly about the social and moral implications of Broke Back Mountain, in realtion to it as a melodrama, a problem film, like a filthy, butch Sirk. (I have been thinking of Sirk lately, because we have gotten TCM free lately, and there has been a bunch of them there--and the reading of these films is often about teh decortaive nature of them, whole essays about windows and fabric choices and costumes, and very little on how at the end yr heart swells, the world is turned right, the optisism in Sirks films, and the almost bohemian instance of a life lived against the grain as a good thing, Indiana places Brokeback in this Sirkian tradtion, but then talks about how he twists this, talks about how this against the grainess could be considered negative, violent, and dark (Ang Lee does this actually--cf Ice Storm, Eat Drink Man Woman and even The Hulk.)
Machinma is an open source video game engine that many people make movies from, mostly inconsquential--some french leftits make v. obv. agit prop wrt the riots there, but the deomocratazaton of it, and the video game aesthetics/mutablity works.
videos from kidnapped qauker also in Iraq
Worst Sex in Fiction awards Read the Updike
19th Century American, Painted on Ivory
Gaurdian on IGRA
Notes Rachel Took on Dr Gross's conference post telemetry.
Nothing on the EEG, not nessc. seizures
Problem currently undefined
non eplipetic seizures, not typical
real not fictious
unrelated to anxiety
not fainting
cause not medical/organic
treat and control, learn to manage the symptomns themsleves
relaxation excersies
not 100 % sure non epileptic seizures
no medications. could cause complications
seen me in clinic reguallarily
treating this as chronic?
not nessc. going to go away
pysc episodes
Nothing on the EEG, not nessc. seizures
Problem currently undefined
non eplipetic seizures, not typical
real not fictious
unrelated to anxiety
not fainting
cause not medical/organic
treat and control, learn to manage the symptomns themsleves
relaxation excersies
not 100 % sure non epileptic seizures
no medications. could cause complications
seen me in clinic reguallarily
treating this as chronic?
not nessc. going to go away
pysc episodes
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