today, after prayers, i read romans straight through, and i got to that passage, 1:26, and its commendation and i realized i cannot love paul, for all of his power and grace, for all of his intense desire to do right... but i love christ.


i thot i got over all this, and was a good boy and didnt think about such matters, and it isnt even really paul, it is paul used as a cudgel to knock some sense into us faggots.

i need to view paul not as a tool of evil men in the 20th cent. but a good man in the 2nd.
paul and me, its visceral hatred, unrealted to simple things like reading the text as close to the orignal as possible.