so we have a shit fight over pots, agreeing everyone should do their own, and tonight, when it was time to do the dishes, there were 8 pots.

our house is chaotic and filthy, i had to wash the floors, do the dishes, clean the bathroom, etc today.

sean yelled a string of invenctive at 7:30 am, and when i called him on it, he gave me the same excuses about sleep and lack of. Now Sean does three things--Works, Plays Poker and Sleeps. He lied to me about being up 36 hours, and i damn well know it, and even if he did. i asked him to pick me up a paper, and then change a 10, and the paper cost 54 cents, so he gave me back 9.46, accounting to the penny. I dont want him at my bday but i cant not invite him, and i would say all of this to him, but we never talk.

bryan and i havent done anything together since d left, i am scared to ask if he wants to take pictures and if so when, said he would be back at 9:30 and its 1:30, i owe him too much money, owe him too many favours, too much time. he snapped at me yesterday, yelling at me for really basic anxiety shit. he is never home, he seems to regert every second he spends with me.

patrick and i are close, but i am worried about wearing him thin, he called me high mateience (sp) yesterday.

i joined the ndp, and i think that was a silly move...hope is always dangerous, and i think for the first time i feel a hope for the synthesis of offical and unoffical dialectics of power.

i keep pretending that the depression has gone away, that everything will be ok, if i pop the pills and go to therapy. im as black as i was at the hospital...with all that entails, and home is getting worse.

i didnt do anything until 20:30 and then i :

edited the essay for tom
washed the floors
washed the dishes
plunged the toilet
did some reading
did laundry
saw homocide with pat
read a ss for my latin american lit in translation course

thats a days work isnt it ?