some of the pro ana sites that i have read talk about control, talk about how food is the only thing that can control, and that they want to do this, how can someone be so self aware, and so destructive...its like camus and his myth of sisphyus, where depression and sucide is consdiered an existental choice, one that needs to be kept as the ultimate possiblity in the back of ones head, except that in this case it is not kept in the back of the head, but kept in (unhealthy)  permanat tension--a tension one will lose.