the thing w. me and cops, is that i cant control my reactions--when i am dealing with something as simple as a jaywalking ticket, i act so horribly (abusive, inapproite, often phyiscally intimidating) that i escaltes to being in the back of a cop car with silver bracelts around my wrists.

i cant deal with them, this hate, this visceral feeling that they have betrayed me, the belief that b/c they chose the uniform they chose my sterotypes all comes to the surface.


they scare me, they over react, they need to have their authority respected (and i refuse to do that), the ask questions that are none of their business (what does it matter if im working, if i have pysch problems), they have fucked up priorties.